abortion right for me? support/opinions please! Posted: 08-19-08 12:27pm
I messed up on my birthcontrol two three
weeks ago and i just took some extra
thinking it would be alright. my ob/gyn
told me previously that i was close to
infertile because of my irregular periods
if im not on birthcontrol an that it would
be hard for me to get pregnant. last week
I almost passed out work. my job is very
labor intensive so i thought it might had
to do with exhaustion. I remembered a
friend found out she was pregnant after
she passed out. I started to get scared
and after two days off of my birthcontrol
and decided to take a test. It turned out
positive. I am only four weeks or so
along.
I went to a clinic for free help called
planned parenthood. They took an
ultrasound and saw nothing but the doctor
said it probably is too early to tell and
scheduled me a week from yesterday.
I dont know what's up. all i know is that
i havent had my period, the test said yes,
and i have to have an abortion.
I am 18 and just got accepted to UC Davis
starting in september, I own a horse that
I carefor very much and that is where my
money goes to, and I want to become a vet.
I know i cant have the baby because it
would run my chances to reach for my
dreams and I would have to give up my
baby, my four year old horse that i
rescued and trained and loved. He is like
my son and giving him up is not an option.
I decided to call a hotline thinking it
would be objective like the website said
and instead it was a lady saying how she
had and abortion and she started to spiral
down hill almost killing herself and her
friend had one and that was her last
child.......a lot of scaring tactics and i
was just looking for objectivity. she
prayed for me as i was trying to get off
the phone and that left me more distraught
than ever.
My fiance and I believe this is the right
thing and that we will have kids when we
are older, when we can give them a good
life, but right now it is a mistake.
Can I please have some opinions/advice?
|
Birch
Supporter
Joined: 07 Nov 2005 Posts: 4159 Location: Bliss,
Thanks: 159
Thanked:16
Posted: 08-19-08 16:46pm
Hey there, you need to make this decision
for YOURSELF. No other can decide this
for you. Do not let others tell you what
to do, or what they want for you-including
your fiance. You have to live with your
decision the rest of your life, no one
else, since you get the final say.
Take time to be by yourself and ask
yourself some questions. Do you want to
be pregnant now? Doyou want to give
birth? Do you want to adopt? Do you want
to abort? Really think about why, and take
the time to consider. This decision is
worthy of the time you put into it, if you
are asking others.
I have had an abortion, and live with no
regrets. Others do not feel the same, and
regret their decision. No one can know
the right path for you but you.
Best wishes, and please post and let us
know how you are doing. Feel free to send
me a private message if you like.
|
nightangel73
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 2771 Location: ,
Thanks: 19
Thanked:18
Posted: 08-19-08 18:10pm
I don't see why you called a hotline if
you seem to have already made up your mind
that you want an abortion. I guess what
you were looking for is words to validate
the abortion. If that is what you want go
ahead with it. A baby will definetly
stretch your life and many sacrifices you
will have to make so there you go.
Abortion will be the easy way out. Good
luck and now you know that you have to pay
attention to birth control as you see it
can happen.
|
amino65
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Apr 2006 Posts: 267
Thanks: 9
Thanked:4
Posted: 08-19-08 18:13pm
Hello,
Congrats on getting into UC Davis! I
always wanted to go to that school, but
unfortunately didn't get in. I quite
understand your feelings about not being
able to care for a child at this point in
your life, it was one of the reasons I got
an abortion. I found out I was pregnant
just before I found out I was accepted at
my UC school, and had just turned 20, I
have aspirations to become a physician.
Like Birch said, you have to do what is
right for you, and really, only you will
know. Like Birch, there are many women
(even on this forum) who feel no regret
and there is no shame in that, and like
the woman you spoke with on the hotline,
it wasn't the right choice for them, even
if they felt it was their right choice at
the time.
Please don't let anyone sway you either
way, it has to be your decision alone, and
I wish you the best of luck either way.
Btw, I am still with the person who
fathered my first, been together 3 years.
I'm young as well (21), we're both
continuing with our educations (he's
graduating this semester!) and he just
landed a great job. Things will change for
you either way, but it does not have to be
bad.
You sound like a smart girl, just follow
your instincts, you are very young, and if
you feel that you are not ready for a
child, no one should make you have one.
Feel free to contact me through private
messaging if you feel the need to talk!
-Amino
*edited to fix my wording*
|
Darkmoon
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Dec 2007 Posts: 440 Location: ,
Thanks: 98
Thanked:55
Posted: 08-19-08 19:32pm
This might sound harsh, but if you need
the opinion of strangers to decide whether
abortion is right for you then you
probably need to have a good hard think
about it. It's YOUR choice and you'll
find precious few people that won't give
you advise based on their own principles.
I think you should take a day or two to
weigh your feelings and decide for
yourself.
If you think it will result in you feeling
guilt then that probably isn't a good
thing. Again, I hate to sound harsh but
we don't need more hypocrites using their
right to abort and then turning around and
trying to take those rights from the rest
of us a few years down the line because
they weren't strong enough to make up
their own minds. I don't know if you are
or could become one of those women simply
because I don't know you. You know
yourself quite well; better than any of us
here and better than anyone on the phone
or yelling outside of Planned Parenthood.
You're ultimately the only one that can
decide in the end what path is best for
you.
I don't judge women for aborting or
keeping a pregnancy, but I do judge women
that make THEIR choice safely and legally
but turn around later on and try to take
that same right from the rest of us. They
feel guilt because it wasn't the right
choice for them and they therefore believe
that the rest of us must be infantilized
and protected from bodily autonomy for our
own "good".
I hope that I haven't hurt your feelings
with the "tough love" but I want to make
sure you're really thinking about this and
taking it in. I also hope you understand
that I and other women have no desire to
suffer forced breeding in the future
because of any guilt you might procure
should you choose to abort, so please
choose wisely and if you find you haven't,
at least accept that you had the choice,
you took it, and everyone else deserves to
have that choice too.
|
zigemyster
Supporter
Joined: 16 Aug 2008 Posts: 366 Location: ,
Thanks: 40
Thanked:19
Posted: 08-20-08 20:42pm
Just something else to think about:
They are all right it is YOUR choice. I'd
say think about what you believe in and
how you were raised. Could you see
yourself carrying this child to term and
giving him / her up for adoption? Can you
talk with your mother about this
situation?
I had my daughter when I was young and
thought oh my, how am I going to do this
along with my dreams and other
responsibilities? Everything turned out
fine & I raised her. And if I had to
do it all over again, would I change
anything? No and I could not see my life
without her in it at that time in my life
when I thought it was bad timing. In
truth, it was perfect timing. Things
happen in our life that we may not
understand and think it is bad timing but
it's not, there is a purpose for
everything, even if we don't understand.
It's great that if this does not work out
that you both would try again in the
future but if you terminate (I'm sure I'll
get plenty of boo's on this one) this
pregnancy that he / she never had a say in
the matter whether to live or die.
Regardless of your decision, be sure that
it is something that you and him will be
able to live with for the remainder of
your lives.
|
compelled2write
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Aug 2008 Posts: 2
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 08-21-08 13:54pm
ArlingtonsPride,
After reading your question and the
comments of other members, I really wanted
to write. I'm almost 30 and have been
married almost 7 years and have been
wanting to have a baby for several years.
I understand that you have a lot of dreams
and goals for your own life (this is to be
commended) Think about this, if you were
to do a very selfless act of giving this
baby up for adoption you could help
fulfill the dreams of another couple as
well as continue to pursue your own.
I can think of many reasons to choose
adoption instead of abortion, but I don't
want to turn you away by getting wordy.
There is a lot to consider but you have
the ability to make some couple very, very
happy.
|
Carifairy
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Nov 2005 Posts: 2610 Location: Charlotte n.c.
Thanks: 12
Thanked:0
Posted: 08-24-08 22:24pm
It is not HER "JOB" to make YOU or anyone
else happy.
I HAPPILY and unregretfully had 3
abortions, and I would never consider
adoption.. NO matter what.
