Catch25
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
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Best friend is leaving - How do i cope?
Posted: 03-06-08 17:05pm
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I'm in school and my favorite teacher is
leaving. She has given me so many
opportunities that she feels more like a
mother than a teacher. She has been there
for me no matter what problem i have had
and i don't know what to do once she
leaves. Four years ago the same thing
happened with a girl my age and i tried to
ignore it, but wound up turning into
something that i don't like. i alienated
all my friends and everyone i cared about.
Any advice you have on how to keep history
from repeating itself would be very much
apreciated! 
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Willa Weintraub
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Posted: 03-07-08 12:46pm
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Can't you visit or something? Someone
moving away or leaving is a sad thing but
it doesn't mean you have to cut all
contact with them. I'm not sure how old
you are or how great that would look with
a student hanging out with a teacher
(unless it's same sex) so I would be
careful. Most of the time you just deal
with it like everyone else. You get sad
and upset but someone else always comes
along(Not to replace the other person)
that you will be best friends with. This
will most likey change throughout your
life.
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Catch25
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2008
Posts: 24
Location: ,
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Posted: 03-07-08 14:38pm
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I am in my mid teens and it is same sex.
i have problems with non-professional
relationships and i only know this teacher
as she is in the classroom. Another
problem i have is expressing my emotions(i
am not shy but am very quiet). i tried
jounalism but that never worked and
painting i just don't have time for. I
will try to write and stay in contact with
them but how can i keep from distancing
myself from everyone?
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Willa Weintraub
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Posted: 03-07-08 15:19pm
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Well first you need to get to the root of
the problem and that is figuring out why
you might be like this. How are your
parents? Do they act that way towards you?
Often we pick up habits from our parents
and it carries on into our life or
personality. Maybe this happened because
someone you know died and you want to keep
yourself from getting hurt. You said
yourself she is like amother to you
correct? Thats basically a personal
relationship right there but in school.
Make sense? Also your problem with showing
emotion can also stem from your parents
and the fact that you want to sheild
yourself from being hurt again. I know
it's hard for you to talk about your
feelings but its the best thing to do. I
think you should talk to her about how you
feel. Tell her you have a hard time
expressing yourself but you wanted to let
her know that you see her as a second sort
of mother and would be very upset if you
never spoke again. why do you think it's
hard for you to express yourself?
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Catch25
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2008
Posts: 24
Location: ,
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Posted: 03-07-08 17:00pm
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My mother is very outgoing and happy but
my dad and i do not get along at all. My
mother always talks about how she wishes
she had a duplex so that she could get
away from him. ( I haven't told them about
her leaving so they won't watch me like a
hawk.) my mother has always supported me
and been there when i needed help. My dad
stopped caring about my school and
anything else i did in third grade. I was
trained in CPR but i have hoped never to
use it, i have never wanted to use it on
him. Maybe things will change but it
certainly won't be soon.
i guess your right too i don't want to be
hurt like my mother seems to be. when i
was little i heard my dad say that he
wanted a boy so i thought if i never
showed emotion that he would come outside
and play more but maybe i have taken that
too far. maybe i control all of my
emotions too much. this time i will keep
up with her and i will try to be more
open. thanks for the invisible
help!!!!!!!!
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Catch25
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2008
Posts: 24
Location: ,
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Posted: 03-07-08 19:52pm
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Sorry for the quick message. Parents were
headed in the room.
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Fairy*Godmother
Supporter
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Location: , Georgia USA
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Hi Sweetie! Me Fairy*Godmother
Posted: 03-07-08 20:01pm
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Can you not get an email address and keep
in touch wiht her aon a daily basis, if
only to say Hi? I can totally understand
your Mothers frustration. I raised my own
daughter ALONE, up until she was 10. As
for your father not showing that he cares
or participates,........well it his loss.
He can't get these years back. My advice
to you, keep in touch wiht your teacher,
this great freind you can confide
in....but in the meantime.....do not feel
you have to alienate others. Why is it you
put distance from yourself and others? You
sound like a very likeable and nice young
lady. You could have a lot of freinds, if
you;d only "allow" yourself! Life is short
hon....seconds turn into minutes and
minutes into hours.....and the hours make
a day....we can choose to live it to its
fullest.....or shut the wrold out and live
in misery............but we can't get time
back......Your friend may have to leave,
but that doesn't mean you have to loose
her!
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Catch25
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2008
Posts: 24
Location: ,
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Posted: 03-07-08 21:40pm
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How can you confide in someone when you
are afraid to burden them? She has had
stress related fainting spells, plus i am
scared to let her to see the other side of
me. She is a Health Occupation teacher
and she has seen me as the down right
determined student. She sees a kid whose
life is destined to take place in the OR.
She knows i'm upset but she doesn't know
how much. Another question is how do i
say goodbye?
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Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007
Posts: 3399
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Posted: 03-10-08 10:50am
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I think you should sit down with her and
have a talk. Let her know how you feel and
that you really look up to her and would
like to keep in contact. that way you
don't have to say goodbye  maybe after you
talk to her say "Well thanks for listening
to me, i'll talk to you later: or "Keep in
touch". Honestly i'm sure she will be
touched that a student would look up to
her like that. If I was a teacher, it
would be one of the best parts of my job
knowing what I have done for someone and
them letting me know I made a difference
in their life  I highly doubt you
will burden her.
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Catch25
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2008
Posts: 24
Location: ,
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Posted: 03-10-08 11:19am
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I can try to do that but it would be hard.
I have never sat down and talked to
anyone in my hole life. Here on this
forum is the only time i have ever talked
to anybody and not been scared to say
something except with a friend of mine who
has a 'Memory' problem. when i try to
look my teacher (Mrs. Johnson) in the eye
I feel like I haven't done enough. I
don't even know what it is I haven't done
I just know it isn't enough. Plus I hate
to look people in the eye so i don't like
talking face to face. Bell just rung, be
back later.
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Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007
Posts: 3399
Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
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Posted: 03-10-08 12:01pm
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Well I would writ her an e-mail then! If
that will make it easier for you to talk
to her go for it! Or maybe write her a
letter and leave it on her desk.
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Catch25
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2008
Posts: 24
Location: ,
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Posted: 03-10-08 13:57pm
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Melissa you and my fairy godmother have
made my life easier.
THANK YOU!!
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