I am lost. I do not know how to react
anymore. I cannot be clear with anyone.
I%u2019ve created restrictions with all
the friends I have. I am 22 year old male.
I had this un-ordinary relationship with
my best friend. We know everything about
each other. I am him, and he is me.
Everything seemed well until I left my
home country to work in another country.
He is gay. I am not precisely gay,
bisexual most probably. I love girls. I
enjoy girls. I do not get turned on by
boys, nor do I have attraction towards
them except him. But thats another issue.
I miss him a lot. And he misses me too but
rationally thinking he got used to the
idea of me being away and got over it and
now he has a happy life with his
boyfriend... I am jealous. What he is
doing is right but I cant get used to the
idea of not having him in my life anymore.
I am always sad. I think about him all the
time. I have to get over it and continue
my life. But the thought of loosing the
only person that I act 100% myself with,
scares me a lot. The worst thing that can
happen to anyone is loneliness. And now
I'm Lonely. What can I do to take him out
of my head? How can this end up? Will it
be possible to still have him in my life
as a regular friend? I usually am a very
numb stone-hearted person but he made
become so emotional
We used to be in opposite positions until
he managed to 'model' me into his own
desired shape. He enjoyed it until I left
and got over it.
Please can anyone talk to me? I am in
desperate need to communicate to someone.
I have talked about this to him but he was
reasonable enough to say 'what can we do
other than getting used to it'.
Anyone? Anything?
