Hi everyone,
I'm in a very complicated situation. I've
been with my fiance since we were 18,
engaged now for over 3 years & together
for 8 1/2. His symptoms have been evident
for the past 5 years.
He doesn't manage it properly & hadn't
been seeing a counselor since his episode
of psychotic mania in 2006 when he thought
that Nostradomus had predicted he'd be the
next & last Pope of the Catholic Church.
In '05 he abruptly stopped taking his
antidepressents & over a few months time
became depressed & almost succeeded in
killing himself.
He's manic again & has been for about 6
months. I have begged him to get back on
Seroquel but he rarely admits that he's
bipolar (even though that's his
diagnosis). In March, he got arrested 2x
for crimes he committed while he was
CLEARLY manic (vandalism in a strip club &
Disorderly Conduct at a bar). In April,
we both needed to get away from this mess
he created & spent a week in Europe. When
we came back, he cheated on me with the
easiest promiscuous person in town, a
worker from the facility he was assigned
to do his Community Service in.
After years of taking care of him,
protecting him, encouraging him, and
constantly worrying about him. I'd
decided I'd had enough & left my job &
moved out of state for the entire month of
May.
But, when I was gone, I was still worrying
about him. I found out that this
relationship with the promiscuous person
only lasted for one night because he
became 'violent' towards her. Then, he
got evicted from our apartment for his
loud & bizarre behavior.
So, I drove all the way back here because
I was so worried about him & the landlord
allowed us to stay, as long as I was also
residing here. But, when he drinks &
smokes pot & takes his antidepressents his
behavior, of course, became intolerable
again. I ended up calling the police &
pressing domestic violence charges against
him.
Now, he's on probation & is court-ordered
to not drink & smoke pot. This is a huge
blessing & a chance for him to regain his
life & start making sober thoughts....
I haven't seen my sweet boyfriend for
years now. I'm still holding on to the
memories, but all of our other friends
have long since jumped ship & want nothing
to do with him...
I'm in counseling now & my job let me take
advantage of FMLA leave. My mind is
clearer, but I'm still so confused.
|
MandMs
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Jan 2007 Posts: 2051 Location: Strumica, Macedonia
Thanks: 36
Thanked:10
Posted: 07-10-08 05:54am
I agree that this could be a chance for
him to try to fix his life.
And, a last chance given from you.
You can urge him to seek professional
help, because, people in manic state never
admit they need help (most of them are
visiting doctor when are in depressed
state)
Bipolar disease usually have devastating
effects on relationships.
He needs treatment, because bipolar
disorder tends to worsen without treatment
(usually there are multiple episodes of
mania if untreated and untreated pure
manic episodes usually last 6 weeks)
Best wishes for you and your boyfriend!
Marija
|
rock_digger
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jun 2008 Posts: 34 Location: , USA
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
You can lead a horse to water.... Posted: 07-11-08 05:05am
A relationship is based on trust and
commitment. The commitment to the
relationship doesn't just mean staying
with the other person if you are bp. It
means the commitment to do anything and
everything in your power to keep yourself
well and stabilized.
If you are not mature enough to stay on
your meds and continue treatment then you
are not mature enough to handle a
relationship.
Evita...doesn't matter that it was just
one night...he still broke your trust by
cheating on you and you will never forget
it. I think you made the right call by
leaving and starting over, but then put
everything at risk by coming back to his
mess. You can't fix him....he needs to
take care of that.
I would leave him to figure everything out
and if he ends up homeless, let his family
worry about it. You need to move forward
with your life and your dreams and not be
held back by someone that doesn't find you
important enough to take care of
themselves.
You know this is going to keep happening
until he finally gets it and that usually
comes when a person finally reaches
bottom. If someone keeps bailing them out,
it will continue.
