Broken Hearted Forum - Boyfriend dosent like white people

diamondsz replied on June 12th, 2008

Extremely EHEALTHy

Im going to be very honest with you, LEAVE HIM, you wont be able to change him unless he want to change and it doesnt sound like he wants to. So he is using you, not worth it, if he cared he sould be able to tell you or at least show you.

"I will not be in a serious relationship with a white girl much less marry a white girl" is almost like saying I WOULD ONLY SLEEP WITH THEM, its like degrading you as if you are nothing. Hunny you can do so much better than that and not all black men think like that!!! Find a hobby or take up something and move on your own way, I think you need to be with someone who will put in as much as you do, it takes two people and if you just keep giving your going to feel mad at one point and its only going to get worse or he will just put an end to what you have going on right now.

Slavery is a crime and if he cant get over HISTORY and wants to carry a baggae before his time he needs to get a life, he has problems my dear and you dont need that!

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Aunt WeeWee replied on June 12th, 2008

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Thanks! I feel like i should just leave him, i even told him the other night that if thats how he feels then i just need to get over him before i get even more attached... It just kills me cause i do care abut him A LOT! we' ve had so many great times and great memories in the past 10 months, even when we were just friends and bame all a sudden he throws this on me.... Someone told me "he's such a good guy, it jus has to be the way he was brought up and his family." I just dont understand why he even started this relationship and atleast why didnt he warn me or something. Your right, i kinda do feel like im being used. I told one of my friends, "its ok for him to have sex with a white girl, but not be in a serious relationship." Gosh im clearly an fool. I also feel like he wants to get close, cause im serious when we are together, he couldnt be a more sweater person and I know he cares about me. I just wish i could be in his mind for 1 day so i would know exactly how he feels and what he is thinking. He also has never met many people in my family. He met my sister and my mom, thats about it and i have a big family. When we have family get togethers and stuff he claim he will come over, but when that day actually gets here, he always chickens out. I kinda understand, cause he probably feels uncomfortable, but i feel like he should want to meet his gf family. I just dont know, but this is all thats on my mind lately. I havnt seen him in a couple days, cause since he told me that, i feel uncomfortable even spending time with him cause, "IM WHITE".......

Aywys, thanks

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diamondsz replied on June 12th, 2008

Extremely EHEALTHy

Their is nothing wrong with having those feeling, I could never deny you that but when you could be with someone who would move heave and earth for you, wouldnt you want someone to treat you as an friend and not as your superior.

In life we all make choices, he could change but like I said earlier thats a choice he has to make. Their is so many men on this planet and some are really good, not all feel that way and the ones I do well it is their mindset that believes in racism, they hold on to it. The guy Im with is Asian, I have kids with him but unfortunatly he has similar views and disregards females, now I dont put up with it.

You have two choices, you can sit him down explain to him that he is promoting racism or you can leave. Choices we always have them ans if we don't we have to fight for them, ask him how he would feel if he didnt have that freedom today?

Im white but european doesnt mean me or you are any inferrior(less than) or superior than another!! Good luck hun

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worrywart01 replied on June 12th, 2008

Active User, Really EHEALTHy

it just seems crazy to me that he was the one that approached you and wanted to start a relationship even with those thoughts/feelings in the back of his mind...i personally would never date a black guy..i'm not racist by any means its just my beliefs have taught me to date within my race and i would never approach and seriously pursue a relationship with a black guy knowing it wouldn't go anywhere...and for him to bring up slavery...PLEASE..come on..like you had any control over that...i say you deserve better, if he had these feelings he shouldn't have let it get as far as it did..honestly since this is so all of a sudden, it sounds like an excuse to me..sort of a cop out

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Aunt WeeWee replied on June 13th, 2008

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

worrywart01 wrote:

it just seems crazy to me that he was the one that approached you and wanted to start a relationship even with those thoughts/feelings in the back of his mind...i personally would never date a black guy..i'm not racist by any means its just my beliefs have taught me to date within my race and i would never approach and seriously pursue a relationship with a black guy knowing it wouldn't go anywhere...and for him to bring up slavery...PLEASE..come on..like you had any control over that...i say you deserve better, if he had these feelings he shouldn't have let it get as far as it did..honestly since this is so all of a sudden, it sounds like an excuse to me..sort of a cop out

you know the same thing went threw my head, its just an excuse... but I brought up breaking up and he just about had a cow... It really confuses me cause he "Can't" have a serious relationship with me, but he dont want to break up with me either. Im getting to the point where i want to find someone to settle down with and if he feels like this then i obviously cant settle down with him. Thanks for your opinion!

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Aunt WeeWee replied on June 13th, 2008

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

diamondsz wrote:

Their is nothing wrong with having those feeling, I could never deny you that but when you could be with someone who would move heave and earth for you, wouldnt you want someone to treat you as an friend and not as your superior.

In life we all make choices, he could change but like I said earlier thats a choice he has to make. Their is so many men on this planet and some are really good, not all feel that way and the ones I do well it is their mindset that believes in racism, they hold on to it. The guy Im with is Asian, I have kids with him but unfortunatly he has similar views and disregards females, now I dont put up with it.

You have two choices, you can sit him down explain to him that he is promoting racism or you can leave. Choices we always have them ans if we don't we have to fight for them, ask him how he would feel if he didnt have that freedom today?

Im white but european doesnt mean me or you are any inferrior(less than) or superior than another!! Good luck hun

Thanks again! Im going to see him either tonight or tomarrow and we are going to have a serious, long conversation and if i feel like he is b-s-n me, im just going to end it. I know it will be really difficult for me, but I cant stand what he is putting me threw right now and i mean emontionally.

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Marianne0558 replied on June 13th, 2008

Supporter

Re: Boyfriend dosent like white people

Aunt WeeWee wrote:

Ok, 1st off, i am white and i date a black guy..... we have been together for only about 6 months or so now. (I know thats not that long) we have been friends for about 10 months. He's the one who approached me and got my number so we could start being friends. i always noticed, i hardly ever seen him hanging out with white people and almost all him friends are black. I never said anything to him, i just kinda ignored it cause i thought that if he was racist he would want to talk to me. well a couple months ago we got into our "1st" argument and he called me an "ungreatful white B***h".. YEA. Then he brought up the whole slavery thing and it was like he was blaming me cause im white. i told him i had nothin to do with slavery, it was way way way before my time. im not racist at all, obviously. I seriously dont care what color you are.. Just me thou. Ok to get to the point. Ive noticed he is keeping himself from getting to close to me, like he wont open his heart up to me or something. We have a lot of fun together and we are happy atleast i think so, but i have a really hard time talking to him about our feelings and stuff. I have opened up my heart to him, but he will not open his up to me and it gets really frustrating, not knowing how he really feels. So last week i asked him what was the deal? He came out and said, "im sorry, i really like you and im falling for you, but I cant and will not be in a serious relationship with a white girl and their is no way i will ever marry a white girl....." It hurt my feelings soooooooooo, bad, i seriously went home and cried myself to sleep. Why is he with me if he dosent want to be with a white girl? i feel like he is just wasting both our times.

Please anyone with any advice help me.... I have poured my heart out to this guy and its truely heart breaking... I seriously have fell in love with him, and now i feel like im just stuck.

Thanks for any replys.

I just wanted to note something. I had read your other post about wanting to be pregnant. If your boyfriend doesn't like white people, how would he be able to teach yours and his children tolerance? Just a thought. You can't hate on the race of your loved ones and children. Don't have babies with him-you will be sorry.

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Mikolas replied on June 13th, 2008

Active User, Really EHEALTHy

I agree with everybody!

His statement about never being in a serious relationship with a white girl just states the only thing he likes about white girls is having sex with them. It is doubtful you will change a racist mind that far gone. While this sounds quite rude, I hope his beliefs dies with his generation, the world is far from a bigotry and racist free environment because of people like that.

Lets say you were to stay with him, and have a future with him, would you be willing to sacrifice all your white friends, and maybe even other non black/non white friends, just for him? He certainly won't like it if you lets say hang out with your best guy white friend since kindergarden who you think of as a brother and nothing else, and its unlikely he will give in and allow you to have your ways with who you hang out with.

It's tiring that still some of these individuals who always bring up their "sad" history still to this day. They always blame it on the white people when they don't have an explanation, but are often racist themselves. He, and those other individuals insult their ancestors each time they use them as a excuse for their troubles, what do the generation now know ANYTHING whatsoever about what slavery was like, what it was like to truly suffer? They act as if they were the victims of a sole horrendous crime and need to be pitied upon. There are far more worst events that occurred in history to other ethical races, and I don't see them still bringing the past back and complain.

All in all, do yourself a favor miss lady, and find yourself a man who shares your own beliefs, and won't try to manipulate you with such pitiful excuses.

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Aunt WeeWee replied on June 14th, 2008

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Re: Boyfriend dosent like white people

Marianne0558 wrote:

Aunt WeeWee wrote:

Ok, 1st off, i am white and i date a black guy..... we have been together for only about 6 months or so now. (I know thats not that long) we have been friends for about 10 months. He's the one who approached me and got my number so we could start being friends. i always noticed, i hardly ever seen him hanging out with white people and almost all him friends are black. I never said anything to him, i just kinda ignored it cause i thought that if he was racist he would want to talk to me. well a couple months ago we got into our "1st" argument and he called me an "ungreatful white B***h".. YEA. Then he brought up the whole slavery thing and it was like he was blaming me cause im white. i told him i had nothin to do with slavery, it was way way way before my time. im not racist at all, obviously. I seriously dont care what color you are.. Just me thou. Ok to get to the point. Ive noticed he is keeping himself from getting to close to me, like he wont open his heart up to me or something. We have a lot of fun together and we are happy atleast i think so, but i have a really hard time talking to him about our feelings and stuff. I have opened up my heart to him, but he will not open his up to me and it gets really frustrating, not knowing how he really feels. So last week i asked him what was the deal? He came out and said, "im sorry, i really like you and im falling for you, but I cant and will not be in a serious relationship with a white girl and their is no way i will ever marry a white girl....." It hurt my feelings soooooooooo, bad, i seriously went home and cried myself to sleep. Why is he with me if he dosent want to be with a white girl? i feel like he is just wasting both our times.

Please anyone with any advice help me.... I have poured my heart out to this guy and its truely heart breaking... I seriously have fell in love with him, and now i feel like im just stuck.

Thanks for any replys.

I just wanted to note something. I had read your other post about wanting to be pregnant. If your boyfriend doesn't like white people, how would he be able to teach yours and his children tolerance? Just a thought. You can't hate on the race of your loved ones and children. Don't have babies with him-you will be sorry.

yea, i kno thats one of the reasons why he wont have a baby with me, but it dont matter anymore cause i broke up with him, so its all done and over with! thanks

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Aunt WeeWee replied on June 14th, 2008

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

I just want to say thank you for everyones replys and let everyone know that I broke up with him last night and its for good. I just cant take tha pain anymore. I have more pain right now, but i know i will eventually get over him. Thanks everyone!

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