Bipolar Disorder Forum - Boyfriend is BiPolar

This tug of war with the emotions is common in relationships with a person that has bipolar disorder. You are not alone and many other people struggle with the same issues you speak of.

Lamictal is a mood stabilizer. The dose is started low and increased every few weeks until a therapeutic dose has been achieved. During the dose adjustments it is possible that your bf may experience some mood disregulation. His moods may shift and he may become unstable. Hopefully, in time, this will improve and he will become more stable.

It sounds like your boyfriend cycles every 3-4 months. Agitation and irritability are frequently associated with manic episodes. The brain goes into overdrive during these episodes. The thoughts fire rapidly and this can cause irritation and agitation. Some people experience irritation when they are depressed or entering a depressed state. Low energy, sleeping, loss of interest in things that normally are enjoyable, feelings of despair, feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, social isolation, refusing to leave the house, chronic complaining, belittling others... all associated with depression. Mania presents with impulsive behavior, hypersexuality, spending sprees, rapid speech, pressured speech (just won't shut up), superiority, grandiosity, decreased need for sleep, increased energy, irritable moods, and increasing agitation as the manic episode progresses (probably due to neural agitation secondary to decreased sleep). In between the manic and depressed episodes or cycles there may be periods of "normal" mood states where the moods are more even. Change of season seems to be a common time that people with bipolar disorder experience mood changes. Spring will often be the start of manic episodes. Conversely, Autumn will mark the start of a depression episode.

Do some reading. Educate yourself on this disorder. It is difficult to deal with when you have no idea what is happening to the person you love. I find it easier to more forgiving of the obnoxious behaviors because I know where they are coming from and try not to take it personally.( I do not have a significant other that has bipolar disorder so I don't deal with the dynamics of an intimate relationship.) Some behaviors are easier to overlook and some should not be overlooked or tolerated.
Once you have greater understanding of the disorder you may be able to talk to your guy about what is going on with him. He may not be able to identify all the emotions and moods he feels or why he takes all his irritation and agitation out on you. Generally, individuals with bpd will take out all of their poor moods on those they love because it is safe. They know they will be loved even when they are in a manic or depressed mood.

Try to hang in there. Things may improve in the next several weeks as the medication has a chance to reach therapeutic levels. His mood will stabilize and he won't act out so much. This is very difficult to deal with. Finding a support group can be very helpful. You can lament, cry, get advice.... We do that here but sometimes you need more than a cyber hug. Hugs to you anyway! We are here. Ask any questions and we can try to help. Let us know how things are going.