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Q: boyfriend moving across country
asked by: concernedk on October 9th, 2008
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
i have just found out that my boyfriend who i've been seeing a long time and plan on marrying must move across the country for four years. i'm still in school and will not be able to follow him for three more years. We WILL stay together, but i'm devastated. this is an amazing opportunity for him, but i cant help but be overwhelmed with grief over losing the love of my life for so long. can anyone offer some support? no judgement please, im hurting enough already.
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Birch replied on October 9th, 2008
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Hey there,

I have done a couple long term, long distance relationships. I know that kind of 'pull over to the side of the road and cry' emptiness that you feel for awhile while you get used to things.

While it's probably still too fresh for you to see any positives about this yet, there are a few. You learn to communicate, you develop your own "self", there are fun visits to be had, learn to appreciate each other even more, you can ultimately determine if he is it for you and no others.

It isn't any fun sometimes though, definately get friends involved in your life and use 'em as a "support group". I hope you do okay.
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worrywart01 replied on October 10th, 2008
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long distance is hard and takes alot of work...there are times you'll feel extremely lonely and sometimes hearing that persons voice just isn't enough..my boyfriend and i went through 8 months of long distance when i went back to college 4 hours away..we'd go weeks without seeing each other...it was hard, especially when we'd get in fights...but i think that it only made us stronger, and those reunions..oh boy are they great Smile its like falling in love all over again, it really kept our relationship fresh...i ended up transferring to a college back home and we're still together goin on 2 1/2 years now...its possible..hard..but possible..hope things work out for you two..good luck
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concernedk replied on October 11th, 2008
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thank you for your comments guys, they really did help ease my mind. My boyfriend will be in the military, and although will not have to serve a complete two year tour of duty, he will be gone overseas for at least six months within the next five years. Also when he begins training in the summer, in colorado i will not be able to even speak to him for six weeks, only write letters. Im just unsure of what my life will be like. This is his dream, i'm so proud of him, but at the same time, im so so so upset. Its just really hard to balance those emotions around someone im used to telling everything too.
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