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Breast Feading in Public
Posted: 07-10-08 17:03pm
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The diaper changing in public post got me
thinking...
My sister in law still breast feeds my 15
month old niece. She is trying to ween
her, but she is still having trouble
getting her off completely.
Anyways, since she was born my sil has had
no roblem at all wippin' her boob out
wherever she is. Now, most of the time
she covers herself with a blanket, but
there are several occations where she
barely covers herself with her shirt, or
she is just covering herself with her
hand. Now she really only does this when
she is around family, but still. It
really makes my husband uncomfortable when
she does this in our house or we are over
at their house.
So what is appropriate and what is not...
BTW...I dont think what my sil does is
appropriate, so dont feel bad for saying
so...
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OctoberBaby06
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Posted: 07-10-08 17:24pm
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I only breastfed for about a month but I
was always covered unless I was home &
it was just Shane & me there. Even
around my family I covered myself because
I could imagine how uncomfortable that
would make them feel (along with me).
I don't mind seeing people breastfeeding
in public as long as they are covered.
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Lilly Ivy
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Posted: 07-10-08 20:26pm
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I guess I really don't care, lol. I can't
cover myself in public because right now
it's just too hot and my baby HATES being
hot. I'm usually hardly covered by my
shirt, but usually in public I'm in my
car. I did do it at a restaurant once, but
I did cover myself with a blanket then.
"Public" is a very interesting word,
especially when you describe your house as
'being in public'. If I'm at someone's
house, I try to be as discrete as
possible, but again is a little difficult
because of the heat.
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Posted: 07-10-08 20:41pm
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Being in public is not being in your
house. The phase being out in public
literally means being out in the public's
eye or being around others.
I personally think it is common courtisy
to cover yourself up when you are around
mixed company other than your husband or
your boyfriend. Other people dont ask to
see your boobs no matter how natural it is
to breastfead your child.
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killbill
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Posted: 07-10-08 20:48pm
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ugh people need to get over it it's just a
nipple
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Posted: 07-10-08 20:56pm
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Yes it is just a nipple, but is your
husband ok with you just flashing any joe
shmo on the street or would he prefer you
to have a little discreteness to yourself
and try to cover yourself? Try to be
honest here!
And on the other side. Why would you want
your husband to be faced with the woman in
the mall who has no discreteness and just
flashes the "nipple" or the breast for
that matter in the middle of the food
court? Why should he or anyone else need
to see that?
There is a degree of modesty here and yes
it is "just a nipple" but really...it
isnt just that simple
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OctoberBaby06
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Posted: 07-10-08 21:26pm
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I agree with you 100% Heather. Shane
wasn't comfortable with me breastfeeding
around our own families without a
blanket covering me, let alone in public.
I'm in no way trying to say I don't agree
with Moms who breastfeed in public,
because I think it's great but in my
opinion I think it's trashy not to be the
least bit discreet about it. Even if it is
150 degrees out, there are light weight
receiving blankets out there just to use
until the baby is done nursing.
Edited because I can't spell 
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Lilly Ivy
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Posted: 07-11-08 09:49am
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It's not like I pull out my boob, get my
baby and THEN have her latch on. I have
her on my lap, pull it out with my hand
over my nipple, then there's probably a
less than 10 second period where my nipple
is actually exposed while she latches on.
My shirt is usually enough to cover down
to her mouth. I don't like any type of
blanket because even those receiving
blankets trap in heat, trust me I know
from experience.
I don't understand the whole 'indecent
exposure' when guys have a nipple to!!
Woman just happen to have a little more
fat around theirs...
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AyaMiyaki
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Posted: 07-11-08 11:16am
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I breastfed Alyvia until she was... oh
lord... 20 months? 21 months? It was just
a couple of months ago that she was
weaned, and she'll be 2 next month. She
was extremely difficult to wean, so I can
sympathize with your sister. What ended up
working for us was stopping cold-turkey.
It shattered Alyvia for a few days, but
after a week or so she (almost) forgot
completely about nursing. Every now and
then she'd reach for one and cry when I'd
say no, but she's grown out of that
completely now.
I only nursed her in public when she was
younger and relied 100% on my milk. And I
had a black nursing shawl that I used. It
was like a poncho I guess, but it was made
out of very lightweight material. It
slipped over my head and covered
completely, so I never had to worry about
people catching a peek, and it allowed me
to nurse my child in public without
offending others. And the neck of the
shawl was loose-fitting, so I could look
down and see her, and she could look up
and see me. It's a great tool, and I plan
to buy a new one for this next baby.
I would not nurse without one. That's
mainly for myself though. I'm not
comfortable exposing myself to others, not
even family. I would either use the shawl
or excuse myself and step into another
room with Alyvia. I don't think I'd
personally be offended if I saw a mother
nursing her child in public, but I can
understand if others would. Maybe they
don't want their children to see nude
breasts, or maybe the idea of nursing
sickens them. I can understand them not
wanting it shoved in their faces. And I'm
not saying nursing mothers should be
forced to hide it - just be respectful of
others and use discretion.
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Ingi
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Posted: 07-11-08 11:26am
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I nursed both my kids and I would always
excuse myself to another room if I was at
someone else's home. I was the one
breast feeding, the people I was visiting
didn't need to be subjected to my boobs.
I also used a blanket to cover when anyone
came around. In public there are not a lot
of times I had to nurse because I guess I
didn't go very many places when the kids
were small. I had a sling and that worked
fabulously for nursing discretely.
I won't walk around topless or show off my
boobs when I'm not breast feeding. Why
would breast feeding change whether or not
it is OK for me to whip it out?
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killbill
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Posted: 07-11-08 12:41pm
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if my husband didn't know enough to look
away if it bothered him then he is the one
i would be ashamed of. a breast being
used to nurse is not the same as a breast
being paraded around to get attention and
people should know the difference. it's
one thing to be a little uncomfortable
because you're not used to seeing it but
to be offended is just a bit much. that's
what i mean when i say get over it. i
breastfeed my daughter and it is not easy
so if someone did it in public with pride
and no shame i would say more power to
her. sometimes as women we are our own
worst enemies and i think it's time we
stopped being judgemental about something
so insignificant. if i judged a woman for
bottle feeding her baby instead of
breastfeeding all heck would break loose.
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Posted: 07-11-08 14:38pm
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The difference is that NOTHING is being
exposed when a women is sitting in a
crowded mall and she whips out a bottle to
feed her child. Then there is the other
woman who sits down in the same crowded
mall and feed her child but she whips out
her boob, and to the shock of the passer
byers, her breast is exposed. Did all
those people ask to see her breast...NO!!!
There could have been the woman walking
with the small child that wouldnt want him
to see that, or the preteen that would
laugh and snicker at the sight of a
"boobie" ha ha!!
All I am saying is that there is
absolutely NOTHING wrong with
breastfeeding your child in public. Do it
all over town if you wish. But please
just have the decency to be discrete about
it for the sake of the other people around
you that you DONT KNOW, that probably DONT
want to see your boob... Yes it is a
natural thing, BUT it still can be done
with an element of discreteness.
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Ingi
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Posted: 07-11-08 16:06pm
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I don't think this is about breast
feeding, so get off the high and
mighty BREAST IS BEST idea. This is about
exposing private parts of your body that
may be offensive to people.
No one is judging breast feeding. Exposed
breasts? Oh yeah, thats just icky.
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killbill
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Posted: 07-11-08 16:41pm
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it is about breastfeeding because you use
a nipple to breastfeed. my daughter has
never tolerated having anything covering
her while she eats and i have to feel
"icky" because people like you don't have
the maturity to look somewhere else if it
bothers you so much.
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Ingi
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Posted: 07-11-08 16:48pm
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Don't worry, I wouldn't look at your
nipple. Nor would I be offended by you
breast feeding. A whole lot of people are.
I have decency and common sense to excuse
myself from the room so I don't offend
anyone. If having class is what bothers
you, sorry that I'm classy and respectful
of others and don't only think of myself.
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killbill
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Posted: 07-11-08 22:08pm
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i never said i don't excuse myself from
the room. it's the fact that i have to be
left out of family gatherings and sit
outside the washroom at a restaurant so i
don't offend classy people like you while
i feed my daughter. she doesn't know or
care that you find breasts "icky" and she
thinks it's funny to pull the blanket off
or stop feeding to look around at what's
going on. i have had people tell me just
stay at the table to feed her, we don't
mind, but i leave because i don't want
people like you giving me dirty looks and
making me feel like i've done something
wrong. that's why if i saw a woman that
was brave enough not to give a care what
people like you think, i would say that is
a real woman, good for her.
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Lilly Ivy
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Posted: 07-12-08 06:29am
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It actually makes me happy when I see a
woman breastfeeding in public. We see
boobs all the time in tank tops and
things, what is so different about seeing
one that is actually productive?
I can't stand being in another room when I
can hear laughter and happiness in the
room next door. When I fed my daughter at
my in laws, I fed her twice in the
bedroom. After that I just sat in the
recliner. I would continue to talk to
everyone while she was eating. I was as
discrete as possible when she was
finished. I felt like I was being punished
by being in the other room, just because I
had to feed her.
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AyaMiyaki
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Posted: 07-12-08 10:08am
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That's why I like the shawl. I'm
completely covered, no worries about it
falling or being kicked off, and I can
still nurse my child while not missing out
on anything. Google "nursing covers" to
get an idea of what I'm talking about.
They're a great compromise.
I can completely understand not wanting to
see another woman's breast while I'm
trying to enjoy my salad and breadsticks
in a restaurant. Or have my children see
it. Or a table full of rowdy teenagers.
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Ingi
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Posted: 07-12-08 11:25am
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Yeah, I liked that special alone time with
my child where it was just her & I (or
he & I). But I can see where some
people might not enjoy that as much and
wish to be with the crowd. Kids grow up
fast, they are only small for a very very
short period of time. I treasured (and
still do) my times alone with them.
The icky thing was a joke. Jeez, some
people have zero sense of humor.
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Posted: 07-12-08 21:02pm
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I think the shawl thing is a great idea.
I would be willing to bet that if you used
it with your baby from the time that they
were first born that they would be used to
it as they got a little bit older.
I have NO problem with my sister in law
nursing in my house in my living room, but
the problem I do have is when she doesnt
cover herself up properly. If she is
going to do it, just cover up. Put a
blanket over yourself, its really not that
hard. It doesnt gross me out, or anything
like that, it just is out of courtisy that
is it.
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