I've suffered with severe depression off-and-on for 20 years (I'm 35/male). I've been put on SSRIs (also effexor xr for a while, which technically isn't just an ssri) with little effect, besides bad side effects. I've given up on drug treatment and I don't even discuss my problems with the doctor any more because I don't want to try any more miserable expensive drugs, and I can't afford talk-therapy (my insurance is catastrophic only, and I only have the money I put in my HSA for doctor care).

I've not been a big caffeine consumer until recently. I've only had occasional small doses of caffine from a single cup of coffee or a diet coke or cup of tea (50-100mg of caffine). A friend of mine opened a coffee shop and I have spent some time there. Strong coffee drinks seem to be eliminating my depression symptoms. At first I only noticed that souped-up coffee drinks made me think more clearly. When I say souped up, I'm talking about double, triple, or quad espresso shots, 200-400mg caffeine in a serving. A single cup of drip coffee, tea, or soda doesn't do much. When buzzing on the strong coffee drinks, I'm more focused and don't become frustrated as easily. I'm far more adept at tasks and social interaction. I'm less emotionally charged (sometimes I can be emotionally charged in a bad way: sadness frustration). It isn't everyday that I drink these beverages, and as a consequence I have noticed the drastic difference in my state of mind with and without them.

If I have a triple or quad shot espresso drink in the morning, I sleep better at night too. Without the caffeine, I sleep almost on command, yet still wake up very tired even with 8 hours sleep. If I had strong coffee the previous day, I wake more easily and feel more rested the following day.

I tried drinking three red bulls last week and it worked just as well as coffee.

Another positive symptom:
for the last two years I've been having joint pain that has progressively gotten worse. It started in my hip but has progressed to my knees, shoulders, and elbows. I can't really do heavy lifting exercises any longer because of elbow and shoulder pain. I talked to my doctor about it when it began and we both attributed it to my running (I used to run about 10 miles per week, but stopped once the pain began). My doc referred me to a physical therapist but that costs over $200 per session and I just can't afford it. I researched the PT online and it looks like it's just strength training and stretching, which I was doing regularly anyhow before the joint problems. I have no joint swelling or symptoms that resemble arthritis based on my online reading. The joint pain comes when i am stationary for 10-15 minutes and can be "worked out" fairly quickly as long as I don't bear a lot of weight (heavy lifting or high impact).

Anyhow, the coffee drinks seem to help with the joint pain too.

This isn't all in my head. Without coffee my body is very stiff and painful when I wake up in the morning. A long car ride or long sit in a chair watching a film means my knees will be very sore for a minute or so. Even a long phone call where I hold the receiver to my head for 15 mins can make my shoulder and elbow hurt, but when I'm buzzing on coffee, I notice no pain.

My depression started getting much worse when the joint pain started. I attributed it to being extra-sad because I don't spend nearly as much time outdoors. I gained over 50 pounds in 18 months when I stopped running and the anti-depression drugs the doc prescribed made me feel worse rather than better. I also felt very hopeless when I couldn't afford the PT that the doc recommended.

Could my state of mind and my joint pain be related somehow? This last almost-two-year depression battle isn't my first. I've had bouts of debilitating depression many other times in my life, and depression runs in my family (both my mother and grandmother).

How could coffee make depression better? I've always read that it makes it worse.

I'm really pleased with my renewed state of mind and don't mind spending $5 every morning to get my life back. I'm not going to argue with the first thing to really help me in what feels like ages

I'm curious if I'm treating a symptom. Is there some condition or disease that can have the mental and physical effects that I've been experiencing that can be helped or masked my a stimulant like caffeine?

Are my positive effects going to go away once my body is used to the large doses of caffeine?

Is it dangerous to take this much caffeine?

Any help or advice is greatly appreciated

Regards,
Jeff