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dating heavy drinker

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Waterfall1963

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Apr 2008
Posts: 1
dating heavy drinker
Posted: 04-03-08 10:01am

I have been living with my mate for 2 years now and I am going through nothin but frustration due to his drinking heavily and lack of communication. When I first met this individual I made it clear to him that I dont' like the heavy drinking but unfortunately he kept giving me the charm and I end up caring about him. I started to drink heavy but now I am turning a new leaf. My man has two brother's who are also alcoholics which I feel is very sad. There is one brother in particular who is constantly calling my mate and when he comes to get him they end up getting drunk and high. This is an on going situation and now I am so frustrated that I dont' know what to do anymore. I try to talk to my mate but he refuses to open up to me. If and when I try to have a serious talk he tends to yell at me to discourage me from continuing. My mate is a very affectionate individual when he is intoxicated but seems to be cold whenever he is sober. He is a nice man but his priorities are in the wrong place. I feel that his brother comes first and I am on the back burner though I am the one that takes care of this individual and treat him like a king. At the present time, I have locked my doors and windows and I am not going to accept his phone calls but I would like to know what is the best next step. Thank you, Frustrated and Sad
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lonestarguy

Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007
Posts: 585
Location: , Hoosierland, USA
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Posted: 04-03-08 10:39am

Waterfall......this is a very sad, but predictable dilemma which many women go through. It does sound like he is addicted to alcohol and, unfortunately, he is the one who needs to make up his mind to quit.

It sounds as if you are trying very hard to get him to stop, but he obviously doesn't want your advice or help. If he goes out regularly with his brother and gets drunk, he is not going to listen. He probably thought when you joined him and drank heavily, that you were approving his drinking.

If it were me, I'd consider leaving him for good since he shows no signs of listening to you and quitting. He is probably facing a long, hard battle to get over alcoholism and the only chance he's got is to contact AA and try for a new life. You know him better than I do, so you need to decide whether this is the way you want life to be for you.

Good luck.
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CarolDiane

Moderator
Joined: 23 Sep 2007
Posts: 2218
Location: Finally a picture to a name,
Thanks: 87
Thanked:121

Posted: 04-03-08 17:12pm

I agree with lonestarguy. Unless he wants to quit, your fighting a loosing battle if he does not want to guit or have the will. Sounds like he does not want any help at this time. Seperate, and see what happens. Sometimes, that will be the thing that makes his bottom fall out and want to get sober.
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