I was engaged to a girl for about a year
after dating her for ~4 months before
that. All in all, things have been pretty
good between us. We would have our
occasional fight, but nothing really
major. We were basically each others best
friend.
When we began to go out, she was very
close to her father. However, her father
began to develop a dislike for me (for
reasons I don't really know) and over time
it began to cause problems with my fiance.
It got to the point about 4 months ago
where they stopped talking altogether.
This really bothered my fiance. We would
talk about it alot. She didn't blame me
for anything that happened, she blamed it
all on her father.
My fiance has always been one to change
her mind quite often about career/life
issues. In literally a matter of days she
would decide that she wanted to be a
teacher, then a doctor (thus leaving
school for teaching), and then decide that
she wanted to do something else. She had
some emotional problems about a year ago
and began seeing a counselor.
We live in the Carolinas, and the stress
of her father was beginning to get to her.
Randomly, she decided that we should pack
up our lives (I have a good job + go to
school here) and move to Oregon. She came
to this conclusion in about a week. She
told me she loved me, but that she had to
move. She begged me to come.
Obviously, I was confused where she was
coming (because it was so sudden and
didn't make much sense with no job + place
to live and all) from and told her that
maybe she should go by herself. The night
she left, she had her father come and move
her stuff out. She planned to stay with
him for a day or two before leaving. She
got her health insurance dropped from me
and signed up for a place in Oregon too.
Before she left, she told me that she knew
there was something wrong with her, and
she told me that once she got her life
figured out, she would come back and find
me so we could be together again. We cried
and talked for a bit, and then she gave me
a huge kiss goodbye and she was off.
The next day, she apparently had a
breakdown and needed to see her
psychiatrist. She decided not to move
afterall. She sent me a letter + left me a
voice mail telling me how much she loved
me and how none of this had to do with her
feelings for me and how she hoped I would
forgive her and that she needed to get her
life in order.
This was all about a month ago. Since
then, I've spoken with her 2-3 times, and
seems distance to me every time. She
treats me almost like a stranger. She has
told our mutual friends that she loves me,
but just isn't ready to marry me yet, that
she has to figure herself out first. She
has also reconciled things with her father
(who again hates me) I sent her flowers
yesterday with a note telling her how I
felt (which was only filled with kind,
non-pushy words). She called me to thank
me for the flowers and seemed very happy.
I asked her if we could get together at
some point and she got very cold towards
me. She said that she couldn't even think
about that yet because she hasn't even
found a new place to live in the area yet.
That is the last I've spoken with her.
Does anyone have any advice on the
situation? Does it sound like I should
chalk up everything and move on? Has
anyone been in a similar situation ever?
Any words of advice/encouragement would be
appreciated.
Sorry for the long story, needed to vent.
Thanks
-Brian
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ladyT02
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Sep 2007 Posts: 236 Location: ,
Thanks: 6
Thanked:3
Posted: 04-09-08 18:04pm
wow she really doesnt kno what she wants
in life. if shes so indesisive its best
just to let her do her own thing right
now, but the distance is going to hit you
two sooner or later. take the whole
marriage thing slow dont rush into it. but
if she cntinues to act cold, and you see
no progress between you guys just move on
hun. jus like some good women will wait
for their guys we wont wait around for
ever and neither should you
