depression symptoms or not ? Posted: 04-03-08 11:28am
am i?yes?no?i don't know.
im finding it hard to put down all this
into words.
i have everything anyone could ask for.
great family, tons of friends and im
studying the course that i love.
so why am i still feeling down?
ive been feeling this way since i was 16.
im 20 now.
i dont talk about my feelings to my
parents or my best friends, although one
of my best friend has notice some changes
in myself. he had asked me about it (last
year) but i just shrugged him off, saying
things like, it just all in his head. im
ok, i convinced myself, and him.
ive been writing in my journals for years.
it does help a little. but when i got into
an argument with anyone, everything that
ive been trying to hide would burst out.
but that would only happen when im alone,
in my room.
recently, ive noticed that im finding it
hard to concentrate on my study. usually i
could do it 4-5 hours straight. now, i
cant even managed to stay on course for 1
hour.
there were this one time when i got into
an argument with my mum. she said
something like, ' maybe u like it better
if im not here (dead)'...it hurt me so
much cause my family means everything to
me. that resulted in me cutting myself on
the arm. i feel that my body should suffer
as much as my heart does. the scar still
exists. people has asked me about it, i
just tell them i got hurt while i was
cleaning my room. i hate it that i had to
lie to my dad about that.
once i tried to talk to one of my bro (im
the only girl. i have 3 bros). but when i
came up to him, i just stood there. i
ended up borrowing his book, to cover up
my failed attempt.i ran to my room, with
tears rolling down my face.
this past weeks have made me thinking. do
i need to talk to a psychiatrist?cause i
dont want to talk to my friends or family.
i dont think my problem is that big. they
have other matters that are much more
important than mine.
ive done several online test on depression
before. and every single time the result
would say, mild depression. am i suffering
from one?
i dont feel this way continuously.
sometimes i feel ok. sometimes i feel
great. sometimes im not.
what should i do?
|
Fairy*Godmother
Supporter
Joined: 11 Oct 2003 Posts: 1340 Location: , Georgia USA
Thanks: 39
Thanked:41
Hi Sweetie! Me Fairy*Godmother Posted: 04-04-08 07:52am
Hello and welcome to eHealth....you've
come to the right place if you need
someone to talk to. there are LOTS of us
who have been where you are, still there,
but have found ways of dealing with it!
You sound very much depressed. I am not a
medical physican, but I was diganosed over
35 years ago as depression. You have he
world at your fingertips, yet seem to have
this sadness that just kind of overwelms
you....unexplainable? I would tell you to
find a therapist who you can talk too.
Find a mental health facility where you
are. Sometimes, it takes more than talk
therapy, sometimes we need a boost to help
those neurons in our brain! There are all
sorts of meds and therapy solutions to
help you get over this slump. I was the
only girl in my family and yet felt I had
no one to talk to as well. And this was
years ago....it just kinda stayed bottled
up inside and even now takes its toll on
me....Please find someone who can help
you. If you decide not too, you can still
come here and as I said, there are a lot
of new friends to be made here! Hugs!
|
nachos
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Apr 2008 Posts: 4
Posted: 04-06-08 10:09am
aww thx
i really need all the support that i can
get
im still considering whether or not i
should open up myself to anyone
|
fonzt831
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Mar 2008 Posts: 18 Location: Salinas, Ca US
Posted: 04-06-08 18:19pm
I remember reading some article on
Einstein and after that I watched a
program of him. This triggered me to look
of the program on the internet and I
remeber reading one of his quotes. It said
something like "everyone likes me but no
one understands me". I sometimes feel that
way. I guess what I am trying to say is
that I feel the way you do. We just got to
find a way to express ourselves to the
world I think. Your still here lets make
something of it. Maybe you were deprived
of attention at one point.
|
nachos
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Apr 2008 Posts: 4
Posted: 04-07-08 11:56am
that quote really hits me.
sometimes i may be smiling to the world,
but deep inside im crying my heart out.
|
Fairy*Godmother
Supporter
Joined: 11 Oct 2003 Posts: 1340 Location: , Georgia USA
Thanks: 39
Thanked:41
Thats me! Posted: 04-07-08 20:36pm
I am a clown to the rest of the
world....always trying to make people
around me smile or laugh..............when
inside I am hurt and crying. Its a rare
thing I let my guard down and allow others
to see the real me! Depression does this
to a person. I was explained by one doctor
as we have no control over things we fell
on the inside, therefore, we try to make
everything around us (for me neat, clean
tidy and everyone laughing)! I at least
feel I have some control over that! Hope
this helps!
|
nachos
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Apr 2008 Posts: 4
Posted: 04-10-08 02:32am
there were times when i feel that all this
feelings that are bottled up inside of me
are so over-whelming, i just want to blow
up.
but eventually i managed to calm myself
down. and everything becomes normal
again.
how long do i have to endure this cycle
over and over again?
|
Fairy*Godmother
Supporter
Joined: 11 Oct 2003 Posts: 1340 Location: , Georgia USA
Thanks: 39
Thanked:41
HMMMMMM Posted: 04-10-08 15:38pm
Can't answer this for you, as every
individual is different. I have been
having ups and downs (along with several
different types of med) for over 30 years.
I am finally at an even kill I feel
sometimes.........I don't tend to get as
sad as I use too or as often. I guess it
depends on whats going on around me, as
right now, I'm kinda feeling low because
one of my cats is MIA.....that and facing
a mastectomy in another wekk doesn't help.
But,,,,I have learned, you may not have
tomorrow, so make hte best of what you
have today. This is something YOU can
control, just tell yourself you are not
gonna feel like crap today, and make
yourself so something POSITIVE! VOlunteer
at an animal shelter or senior center.
There are so many lonesome individuals out
there who'd love some company and a little
time. You will be amazed at how good it
make your feel to feel needed!
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