long and hard relationship. i'm the only
friend he has left. he's making it look
like i'm the instigator of a really
abusive relationship. he's my first
relationship and i've always had plenty of
friends.... never these kinds of
problems.
he's grabbed and shoved me, told me
demons were taking over my mind -
typically crazy person stuff.... i've
gotten scared enough and mad enough to
slap him or hit back. he says when he
calls me names (health
forum/problem/stupid etc) it's for my own
good, i deserve it, and he hasn't been
mean enough to me for the stupid way i've
been acting. i mean, true, people have
always been so kind and taken me under
their wings for most of my life once i
left home and any criticism was always
very loving and constructive. he says i
need to be told what i'm doing wrong in a
"not-sugar coated way" and that he's the
only one who truly loves me.
my confidence level has dropped so much,
i've lost a lot of interest in life, i had
a bad period of just doing whatever it was
he needed to be happy because he'd make me
suffer when i didn't throw him money, buy
him stuff.... i know he has invented a lot
of weird stuff in his head (and that
doesn't help that he detects i feel that
way. it makes him think i don't believe
him, but i give him much more credit than
i would give anyone else in the same
situation.) my thoughts are cluttered,
but i really really want him to be okay.
he tells me stories about ex's and his
father that "really wanted him to be
okay.....because they wanted to possess
him n rape him" .... i'm just a stupid
girl in my first relationship. i want out,
but i'm in love for the first time. he
makes it seem like i just care about him
to destroy him. what do i do when i feel
like i've been walking on eggshells but
been told i've been just stomping all over
someone carelessly? -he even says "you
don't know you're doing it, because you're
so naive, but you are."
i'm actually usually a logical functional
(mostly) human being that many people have
come to ME for strength and encouragement
and i've been told i'm smart about it. but
in my own situation, i can't even live
life now i'm so confused about my purpose.
do i need therapy. did i destroy someone's
life.
|
Beline
Supporter
Joined: 01 Mar 2008 Posts: 483 Location: , South Africa
Thanks: 123
Thanked:143
Posted: 05-12-08 06:44am
No, you don’t need therapy yet, but you
might soon. Not because you are destroying
his life, but because he is destroying
yours. You are already beginning to doubt
yourself and starting to see the
‘rationale’ behind this abusive
relationship - him treating you badly
because he loves you. What a load of utter
nonsense! Why do you think he has no
friends? Because he doesn’t deserve any
self respecting human’s time.
I can give you long psychological
explanations, but the fact of the matter
is: you need to get out of this
relationship as soon as possible. Now is a
good time.
Good luck, and keep us posted.
|
Birch
Moderator
Joined: 07 Nov 2005 Posts: 4049 Location: Bliss,
Thanks: 143
Thanked:13
Re: do i need therapy? Posted: 05-12-08 22:08pm
notahypochondriac
wrote:
my confidence level has
dropped so much, i've lost a lot of
interest in life, i had a bad period of
just doing whatever it was he needed to be
happy because he'd make me suffer when i
didn't throw him money, buy him stuff....
Therapy can help you with these things.
Alot, if you decide you are ready to work
on them. It might help to determine why
you're doing this enabling, why your
confidence level has gone kaput, and why
you've lost interest in life.
notahypochondriac
wrote:
i'm actually usually a
logical functional (mostly) human being
that many people have come to ME for
strength and encouragement and i've been
told i'm smart about it. but in my own
situation, i can't even live life now i'm
so confused about my purpose.
do i need therapy. did i destroy someone's
life.
You don't have to be an illogical,
nonfunctioning person to have problems.
So you don't have to be an illogical,
nonfunctioning person to need help with
those problems. Alot of people think
therapy is for people who are really
screwed up. Not true. Many people go to
therapists for many different reasons.
As far as destroying someone's
life...well, the only life you have
control over is your own, no one elses.
