I am 20 and my partner is 27..we are going
through an unplanned pregnancy right
now(23 weeks). I was already extremely
depressed right I found out I was pregnant
(maybe 4 weeks pregnant to 12 weeks). Then
last month I found out that my partner has
been talking to his ex-girlfriend from
high school/college the entire time we
have been going out. I also found messages
from other women that he saw from
May-October..one stating he had slept with
her.
He lied to me this whole time saying he
never talked to his ex, etc,etc. I cannot
trust him because every lie he has told me
has been TRUE! He says he was trying to
protect our relationship but I cannot
understand this reasoning of his.
Anyway, I think about this everyday...what
he has done to me..and cannot get over it.
I got violent and physically hurt him the
night I found out what he did to me. I
have been violent (hit him) every time we
argue now. I do not know how to handle my
emotions and this overwhelming anger I
feel toward him. At the same time I don't
want to let him go?? It's a pregnant thing
I think..I know I am very scared and
confused right now.
I can tell you that prior to this I was
NOT a violent person at all..very shy and
some may even say timid. I will say I am a
level headed person. But now I cannot
deal with my anger the same way I used to.
(smoke a cig...get out of the
situation...etc). I also was not depressed
before this!
Also I am very angry with this pregnancy
(I know it's not the baby's fault!)
because I am in college and want to finish
school. The father already has his
master's while I am still considered a
freshman/sophomore in college. AND he
thinks he can analyze my every move
because he has a master's in counseling? I
didn't want an abortion because I was
adopted (and have a wonderful life!) and I
know my mother chose to give me life...I
wished to do the same for my baby.
I have been trying to work past this, but
depression paired with this anger is
making it hard on me. He tells me there is
something "wrong with me"...and that I
need help. My therapist says it's just
hormonal and normal. She says I should try
not to get violent though.
Most days I just feel like dying...or I
just wish I could make this all go
away..this pregnancy.
Is there anyone out there that feels or
has felt the same way?
|
Fairy*Godmother
Supporter
Joined: 11 Oct 2003 Posts: 1387 Location: , Georgia USA
Thanks: 47
Thanked:59
Hi Sweetie! Me Fairy*Godmother Posted: 04-05-08 14:55pm
Hi, you probably do not want to hear what
I have to say, but I am going to
anyways....because I have a daughter
myself who will be 25 this year. I raised
her on my own up until she was 10, then I
met this wonderful man i am married to
now. First, it is against the law to put
your hands on ANY individual especially
out of anger. I totally understand there
is an anger issue and you are having a
hormonal hell of a itme dealing with it.
It may make you feel better to slap this
guy around, but how long is this gonna
last and how long before he leaves? this
is not a relationship. As for your trust
issues..........if you were my daughter
,I'd tell you to leave until you can get
your own head together. This is not good
for you mentally or this baby you are
carrying. And for Gosh sake, suck on a
straw, do not even dream of taking a nasty
ciagrette and inhaling it for htis baby to
have to deal with. There are so many other
ways of dealing wiht anger and
frustration,but until you face the rela
problem, its not going ot get any better.
As long as you are together, you are NOT
going to able to trust him and this is
going to pull you further and further
apart. You need to go your separate ways
and you need to focus on YOU and this
baby. There are so many women out there
who would love to be able to carry a
child......my sister in law being one of
them....and yet time and time again I find
women here who HATE being pregnant and are
so depressed. You yourself were "chosen"
and had a wonderful life with a family who
loves you. I would give anything to find
the birth mothers of my neice from Russia
and my nephew from here and THANK THEM
FROM THE BOTTOM OF OUR FAMLIES HEART. You
sound like a wonderful daughter and I'd be
so proud of you if you were mine....You
are in college and obviously have set
goals for yourself.....I am very proud of
you even if you are not my
daughter.....This tells me you have
character and your self esteem has just
been kicked a little, your not a
wuss.........Please, look at yourself in
the mirror and tell yourself YOU ARE
IMPORTANT and only you can make yourself
happy.....we can't rely on anyone
else......go out there and be the best
person you can be. Always here for you if
you need to vent! HUGS!
|
mommyglamour
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Apr 2008 Posts: 25
Posted: 05-05-08 03:02am
I don't know but it doesn't sound like
your boyfriend has any right to be a
counselor if he's just being a liar. He
doesn't deserve you and I don't blame you
for beatin' on him...you just wanna show
him how he's making you feel on the
inside...you probably wanna put your own
head through a wall because it would feel
better...i have done this and it does feel
better but we all know it's no good to
hurt yourself. I know it's easier said
than done but you need to leave this guy
because he isn't worth your time and
attention....and unless he becomes a holy
ghost filled Christian his infidelity will
neverend. I also think he's trying to
play mind games with you....especially
with the fact that he has a degree in
counseling.
