Hi,
My name is Ivan and am 17 Years old, I
have a sister who is aged 22 years old and
has bipolar disorder, so far Ive been
through a lot as young teen, hasn't been
easy at all, my sister first showed signs
of an illness when she was 15 years old,
and doctors kept saying hormones are
changing, then this then that until
finally about when she was 19years old
they said she had bipolar disorder. Now in
these past 7-8 years its been hell, a lot
of trauma caused by her, mainly towards me
and my mother because we were the weaker
figures in the family, she has a lot of
grudge against my father and hates him,
but I do not why this is so. But I can say
she always had respect towards me, but for
some reason she wanted to always hurt me
and my mother. She does high tendency to
get violent, especially when asking for
money, she does smoke marijuana and has
been probably for the last 8 years, and is
a big issue. The mood swings usually tend
to happen during January to April, this is
a period I call THE BANG, and it is
happening now, she does live alone which
is good and bad in someways. These past
weeks have been hard on the family, some
examples of her behavior, threats to the
family (e.g. poisoning us all), paranoia
(Afraid of old friends etc), wanting to
change her name and move away and
depression. I don't know weather to take
these threats serious. I am getting very
worried and don't see improvement in her
in the near future, she does have
medication, but I doubt that she takes it
always. She just lost her job because she
got into a fight with someone, that
happened about two weeks ago. I am almost
18 soon and starting to gain confidence
and losing my fear of her, and I am about
on the verge on exploding. I know she has
sickness, but I hate her, not matter what
you tell me, I hate her. And the question
is who is she going to turn to when my
mother and father are no longer here, Is
it going to be left on me or my brother or
other sister, I mean hopefully in next
couple years I have a family, am I going
to have to live with it the rest of my
life. Because she is starting to become
really bad, and its hard to talk to her,
she a complicated character to talk too. I
don't know anymore.
I could go on more bad it just makes me
cry talking about this.
Yours Sincerely, Ivan
|
Seraph
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2008 Posts: 329 Location: , South Africa
Thanks: 7
Thanked:0
Posted: 03-25-08 10:19am
Hi Ivan
I am sorry to hear about your sister. She
is having a really tough time with this
disorder her-self, just as much as you
are.
Is your sister still taking medication
like she should and seeing her
psychiatrist? The fact that she uses
marijuana will undoubtably have a bad
effect on her and might even be increasing
the problem.
The fact that she explodes at certain
times is also not strange. You get
different types of Bi-Polar...one where it
strikes every so number of months and one
that is called "Rapid-Cycling" whereby
your mood shifts (in the extreme) from one
hour to the next.
The other contributing factor might be
that she does not feel confident enough to
talk to your Mom/Dad about problems she is
having and/or the difficulties she is
facing (especially due to her condition)
and ends up "bottling" it up untill she
eventually can't hold any more and
"explodes". Regular visits to a
psychiatrist will help a lot, even when
she isn't feeling bad. It will give her
someone "impartial" to talk to and vent
against.
To be able to learn manage her condition
on her own and to keep an eye on her
medicine and wether it needs adjustment,
she needs to keep up visits to a
psychiatrist...It is unfortunately not
something that will eventually "go away".
It will always be there and her quality of
life and how she handles it, depends on
her managing it correctly with medication
and help from medical professionals.
Give me a shout if you have any questions
and/or other concerns.
All of the best to you, your family AND
your sister. I know how hard this
condition is on the person and theyre
families...just ask my sister how I
treated her as a kid...And I was her
YOUNGER brother to boot...
|
antigone
Moderator
Joined: 27 Jan 2008 Posts: 965 Location: IL
Thanks: 48
Thanked:18
Posted: 03-25-08 16:54pm
Ivan,
It is very hard to have a family member
ill with a condition like bipolar disorder
and be unable to help them. I have a
brother that refuses to get help for his
disorder. This past weekend he caused
chaos at a family gathering due to his
instability and raging.
Spring time marks the change of season.
The days get longer and the weather warms
up. People with bipolar disorder often
become unstable at the change of seasons.
This may account for some of the changes
you see in your sister.
Your sister needs some medical attention.
Your family can have her placed in a
hospital psychiatric unit to have her
evaluated and treated for her disorder.
Anyone that makes threats against another
or themselves can be forced to get
treatment. Your parents should talk to her
doctor. She can be made to get treatment.
Her doctor would be able to assist your
family on how to proceed to getting her
help. She is independent and an adult but
if she is viewed as a threat she can be
forced into treatment.
I hope your sister gets the help she
needs. You are not responsible for her or
her disorder. I wish I had an answer for
you as to how to best help her. You need
to take care of yourself. Your options may
be limited and you may not be able to do
anything for your sister.
|
IvanAUS
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Mar 2008 Posts: 3
Posted: 03-26-08 03:53am
Thank you very much for your posts and it
is a sigh of relief to know that we aren't
the only ones out there with this
problem.
Now, my sister she has been through
medication, doctors, psychologists and
counselors. She was apart of a government
research, but then pulled out, At the
start she did take medication, but has
stopped now, but still will sometimes take
it, she is overweight which is sign from
the tablets.
Now she doesn't like the tablets, or
doctors or psychologists and counselors.
One thing with her, she doesn't like a big
crowd around her and doesn't like people
telling her what to do. And also when she
starts yelling at the family, you must not
reply back to her because things just get
worse.
But one thing that she depends is
marijuana, she cant be without it. We
usually don't contact her due to her
request having nothing to do with us.
Last night we received an sms saying "I
have no marijuana, I am bored, Give me
money." So me and my brother dropped off
$200 in her mailbox. She was upset for
Christmas 2007 because she had no
marijuana and came to my other sisters
house, and caused chaos. I really don't
see her getting off the stuff. Its
affecting her.
And also her suicidal thoughts, on
Christmas 2007 she said that she stood in
front of a train and pulled out the last
second, I mean weather this is true or
not, we cant take it as a joke. She does
write suicidal letters.
But what most worries me is the threats
towards the family, would she carry out
such an act against the family, would she
kill one family member, that is something
that scares me so much, she has been
saying threats for the past 3 years, but
what if that day comes if really does it,
that is my biggest fear, and there is no
knowing what she will do because she is
sick.
And Ive witnessed her behavior for the
last 8years and I know every single
moment, its been hard, its been painful, i
am only 17 years old, But this is the
worst Ive ever seen her, she needs help
and quick, and the question is how do we
help her? When we've already helped her,
but she doesn't want to be helped, Is the
some way out there how we can help? I mean
either though I hate her, i just want to
help her and quickly, yes she might have
disorder for the rest of her life, but
just some sort of help out there. Please
help me.
|
Seraph
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2008 Posts: 329 Location: , South Africa
Thanks: 7
Thanked:0
Posted: 03-26-08 10:53am
Hi Ivan
One major concern is the on/off basis on
which she is taking medication.
Anti-depressants and/or sychotheraputic
medication is advised to be taken on a
regular basis. It takes a while to start
working and a while to wear out, so taking
it on an on/off basis doesn't help her at
all. She needs to take the medication on
a constant basis.
As for her weight gain, she can find help
from a dietrition to assist her with the
effects the pills is having on her.
She would hate everyone who is trying to
help her...especially with the marijuana.
The best advice I can give you, is to get
your parents to talk to her
doctors/psychiatrist. If they can't reach
them, they can talk to any other
psychiatrist to assist them. Like
Antigone said, if she proves to be a
threat to either those around her or her
self, for that matter, they will more than
likely get her into an institution,
which:
1. Would get her taking her medication on
a constant basis.
2. Assist her with her weight gain.
3. Help her get over her addiction to
marijuana.
4. Give you and your family peace of
mind, that she is being taken care of.
5. Ultimately, not cure her, but at least
teach her to manage her illness correctly
so that she herself feels better as well.
Initially, it is going to be EXTREMELY
difficult as she will hate the people
around her even more for putting her in a
mental-institution under protest. But
with the proper treatment, you would not
be able to believe the 180 degree turn a
person's personality and/or feelings
towards others can change. This is why
BiPolar is called a "Mood Disorder". It
affects her moods and feelings towards
others, herself and even life.
I also suffer from "social-anxiety"...it's
not something you can control on your own.
The only way for you to have control over
it and learn to cope with it, is with
medication. Once you have started to cope
with it, in a lot of cases, the medication
would not be necissary any more. Crowds
disturb me utterly. The point is, I know
EXACTLY how she is feeling and what she is
experiencing. I can't see the impact side
of my disorder, but I can tell you one
thing...this is an illness that I would
not even wish on my worste enemy...
As for the threats, 80% of the time it is
a means to get others to REALISE you don't
feel right and that you WANT help...even
if you don't admit it your self. It does
not often excalate to realisation but has
to be carefully watched and assessed.
I really wish you all of the best.
This is a hard burden for someone of your
age and like Antigone said, please take
care of your self as well. We don't want
to see you having a break down because of
this nasty illness...it's enough that your
sister suffers under it's reighn of
terror.
Kind Regards
Seraph
|
IvanAUS
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Mar 2008 Posts: 3
Posted: 03-28-08 04:35am
Thanks for the posts once again this is
giving me an understanding and is well
appreciated. I thank you very much.
There is a slight problem in Australia
where I live, there is no mental
institutions, they got rid of that 15-20
years ago. I am really not sure what this
country has more to offer, I mean like I
said we have been through doctors,
psychiatrists, counselors and government
research program, but the problem is, my
sister will talk into the psychiatrists
and then straight walks out and they don't
stop her, it makes me sick, I mean yous
are from different countries and what I
can see is their is effort into bipolar in
your countries. I really don't know what
to do, I think they will only act if
something bad happens, I mean my sister
has attempted to stab my father and he
managed to block it off, thank god, and
police was called, but nothing was done.
It makes really sick, how do I get these
specialists to listen and keep her and set
her on the road for stabilization. Maybe
possibly I could do it with a court order.
I really don't know whats for offer in
Australia for bipolar sufferers, it
doesn't look bright, I just want to help
her, yes I do hate her but still she is my
blood, she is my sister, she is born like
that, and we have to help someway. Its
tough times.
