Abortion Debate Forum - Forced pregnancy


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Ingi

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Posted: 07-08-08 17:48pm


Its too bad your husband held you hostage like that. Why did you have an ultrasound if you didn't want to keep the baby? Unfortunately, you found out it was a boy @ 10 weeks - very early. Well, he has his children now and you have your own life.

NeutralUsername

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Posted: 07-10-08 17:49pm

diamondsz wrote:

NeutralUsername wrote:

You STILL said that you enjoyed the pregnancy with your son more than you did with your daughter. But, now you said you hated the pregnancy with your son. Which is it?

Since you are pulling up archives, go through mine for placenta previa and the one I started back in 05/06

Its hard to explain, I didnt want to be pregnant, like I started this post yes, that was probably what I wrote reversed lol but I also am saying I am revealing how I felt. DO NOT Call me liar.........

I used to tell people what they wanted to hear to keep them off my back, if you read some of my drinking posts we had people getting in my face go back to 2006.
So I had problems, people would get in my face, and well made me feel like a EFFIN horrible person, now I just don't care, thats the difference.

NeutralUsername wrote:

You said you bonded right away with your son, but not with your daughter. Then you said you had a hard time bonding with BOTH children. Which is it?

I did, although I had a slightly easier time with it, as I went back to work when he was two months.

NeutralUsername wrote:

Try to keep your stories straight please. I do not believe that your pregnancies were ever unwanted. There are other ways to make a point.

Stop putting words in my mouth.........

IM SO SICK of people telling me how to feel or how to talk

Im talking about how pregnancy cn be the worst thing in the world, what can you not understand about that? Not everyone is jumping for joy and I wont let you tell me it is!!!

Please name one woman who actually enjoys pregnancy besides babys kicking? PLEASE SHARE

You probably hated your pregnancies. But, they didn't appear UNWANTED. There is a difference.

Again, there are other ways to make a point. You don't want to be called a liar. But, here, you made it appear you were forced to stay pregnant against your will and claimed you abused alcohol because you were extremely depressed about it. Other forums suggest you actually took care of yourself and wanted the pregnancy you had. What was I supposed to assume?

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Posted: 07-10-08 18:43pm


Depression is a very REAL disease. It affects more individuals than people realize. I can only imagine that the hormones that are raging through pregnant women can amplify the already present or dormant depressive issues that so many women deal with. It sounds like you are not with your husband anymore? Is that correct? I hope not, because anyone that would hold you hostage like that does not deserve you, you deserve much better.

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Posted: 07-10-08 21:07pm

NeutralUsername wrote:

you weren't allowed to have your tubes tied which has nothing to do with the abortion debate. You should have got that procedure if you wanted it and nothing like this would have occured.

You don't read everything, do you? She asked her doctor FOUR TIMES to have her tubes tied. Her doctor refused because she was only 20. This seems to be a very big issue, but doctors don't see how any woman doesn't want less than three kids Rolling Eyes

My friend has a heart condition, which complicated her pregnancies (aka, she could die from pregnancy) and because she was only 20 with one kid, they wouldn't tie her tubes, even though she could DIE from it.

Thank you Diamondz for sharing your story. Depression sucks, especially when you have people you don't know making you feel worse. I'm glad you are feeling better now and it's good to hear you are going to school!

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Ingi

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Posted: 07-11-08 08:44am

Lilly Ivy wrote:

This is when you seek out another doctor. Ultimately we are responsible for our own health and especially our own reproductive health. If one doctor will not do it, there is always another one who will. If it is wanted enough, a person can find a way.

Diamonds, please answer the question of why you had an ultrasound at 10 weeks to find out the sex if you wanted an abortion. I simply cannot understand that. Obviously you don't have to, but you were the one who started this topic and that part is curious to me.

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Posted: 07-11-08 09:44am


I didnt realize you could even find out the sex at 10 weeks. That does seem odd that you would want to find out the sex if you were going to get an abortion anyways. Would your husband have let you get an abortion if you were pregnant with a girl?

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Posted: 07-11-08 12:14pm

Lilly Ivy wrote:

I have been going through the same thing for 11 years!! I am now 31, and have never wanted children. I've known since I was a little girl that I never wanted to be a mom, and my doctor(s) refuse to do it "in case" I change my mind. It seems us woman obviously can't make our own decisions. Rolling Eyes

IF the doctor had "allowed" me to have my tubes tied 5 years ago, I never would have had to choose abortion when my birth control failed. Go figure.

Ingi

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Posted: 07-11-08 12:21pm

lucy315 wrote:

Lilly Ivy wrote:

IF the doctor had "allowed" me to have my tubes tied 5 years ago, I never would have had to choose abortion when my birth control failed. Go figure.

Why haven't you gone to other doctors? Have you had your sterilization surgery since then? Some planned parenthood facitilities will do sterilization by choice - age is not a consideration.

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Posted: 07-11-08 13:56pm

lucy315 wrote:

Lilly Ivy wrote:

IF the doctor had "allowed" me to have my tubes tied 5 years ago, I never would have had to choose abortion when my birth control failed. Go figure.

My Doctor told me the samething. He ask me what if I met a nice man and he wanted to have children? I told him that option would not be there would it? and he tied my tubes. I did meet that nice man and he had a son 2 and 1/2 and didn't want anymore kids. That was 19 years ago! Smile

Find another doctor.

Darkmoon

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Posted: 07-11-08 14:11pm


Women can only afford to travel so far before their resources for seeking out a doctor that will respect their choice to sterilize run out. Personally I tried everywhere in my city and neighboring cities when I was in the states and I've had the same problem here in Australia. We have to jump through flaming hoops to find a single doctor that will honor our request and for many women, unwanted pregnancy occurs before they succeed (if they ever succeed at all). The onus shouldn't be on women to search the world for one bloody doctor to tie our tubes. The procedure should be available regardless of the medical community's personal opinions/morals. Even women with health problems can't get properly treated because they are viewed as breeding fodder.

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Snug

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Posted: 07-11-08 16:49pm

Ingi wrote:

Why in the blue hell should a woman have to go from doctor to doctor to doctor to doctor to get her tubes tied? Are we as a gender really THAT incompetent regarding making decisions about our health and reproductive status?

I gave up after eight doctors, and got a lawyer. He threatened my insurance company with legal action for denying me covered benefits if THEY didn't find an in-plan doctor to do my tubal ligation immediately. I got it done the following week.

But that's not the point. The point is that it shouldn't have taken conversations with eight condescending bassturds and the involvement of a lawyer to get my tubes tied.

Ingi

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Posted: 07-11-08 16:54pm

Snug wrote:

Ingi wrote:

I'm glad you got your surgery.

Actually, your case sounds a little like your insurance had a problem with paying for out of plan doctors to do your sterilization.

You are right, it shouldn't have. Make a statement. Write your congressman. Let them know how health care is affecting you.

Darkmoon

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Posted: 07-11-08 18:31pm


For some reason this conversation kind of reminds me of the old Tootsie-pop commercials, but with a twist. Kid: "Mr. Owl, how many doctors DOES it take for a woman to have control over her fertility?" Owl: "Let's find out. One...two...three..." (keeps counting indefinitely)

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Posted: 07-11-08 20:28pm

Snug wrote:

Ingi wrote:

I have trouble understanding the same. Doctors are easy to perform abortion yet they refuse when a young woman ask for being sterilized precisely to avoid abortions. It's crazy. I mean all I would do as a doctor is make the patient sign a sheet that says doctor is not responsible if patient change mind after procedure (in case the doctor is just afraid of being sued for any reason).

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Posted: 07-12-08 01:23am


So many women that have their tubes tied regret it and go crying back to their doctors that those doctors are now afraid to perform the procedure.

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Posted: 07-12-08 06:33am

aochriss wrote:

So many women that have their tubes tied regret it and go crying back to their doctors that those doctors are now afraid to perform the procedure.

That's why they sign a legal document stating if they change their mind they can't blame it on the doctor, hypothetically speaking.

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Posted: 07-12-08 11:21am

aochriss wrote:

So many women that have their tubes tied regret it and go crying back to their doctors that those doctors are now afraid to perform the procedure.

Actually, child-free women very VERY rarely regret their tubal ligations. The vast majority of those that go crying back to their doctors are women who have already squirted out a sprog or two or more.

Ingi

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Posted: 07-12-08 11:27am

Snug wrote:

aochriss wrote:

So many women that have their tubes tied regret it and go crying back to their doctors that those doctors are now afraid to perform the procedure.

Please show us where you find this information. I'd like to read it. Thanks!!

lucy315

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Posted: 07-12-08 11:57am

Ingi wrote:

Snug wrote:

aochriss wrote:

So many women that have their tubes tied regret it and go crying back to their doctors that those doctors are now afraid to perform the procedure.

Please show us where you find this information. I'd like to read it. Thanks!!

I was quite curious myself, so I did a small amount of research. (I'm not sure if I am allowed to post the links) But, I did read that about 20% of woman that have tubal ligations before the age of 30, regret their decision and ask about reversal. It also stated that woman who have marital problems or relationship issues often ask for the procedure, only to work things out with their spouse, or meet someone new, and wish to have it reversed as well.

I also found another article (on webMD) that states that most woman do not regret their decision to have their tubes tied. Their percent was MUCH lower, at only 7%.

And yet another states that about 24% of women regret their tubal ligation, but only about 2% of them ask for a reversal.

Interesting....

meblonde01

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Posted: 07-12-08 12:24pm


I have never regretted having my tubes tied. Just like some women never regret abortions. Abortion I did regret. I come to terms with what I did when I was very young and stupid. But I can honestly say I wish it is something I had never done. Every person feels different about the decisions they make, there is not one set emotion

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