I just started this method about 2 days
ago, but before i explain my doctors way
of getting me off let me give you a little
background on my useage.
Almost everyday I would crush up and snort
about 160mg of oxy in about a 2-5 hour
time period. of course I worked my way up
to that tolerance, I remember getting sick
after snorting 20mg one time. I took it
of course to get high, but towards the
end, there wasn't a high, there was just
the feeling of being a normal person. I
tried to quit cold turkey about a month
ago, it lasted about 5 days, God it was
horrible, i remember the first day without
it I had to let my cousin know i wasn't
coming in to work because if the slightest
thing had gone wrong, hell if he breathed
too heavily for my liking I would've
snapped. My bones wanted to jump out of
my body, I was sweating so heavily, I
couldn't get comfortable to sleep. So I
started to use again and like I said about
160mg was my normal for about a 4 hour
time period, sometimes I would go higher
maybe 200mg. I also got a hold of
dilaudid but those are like the difference
between an alcoholic drinking water, and
taking a shot.
The day I decided to get off was this.
Wednesday I was driving to my dealers
house which was about a half hour away, I
was totally sober nothing in me
whatsoever. A little kid on a razor
scooter in a residential neighborhood came
jamming down his driveway, which i saw and
recognized, he just kept coming and I'm
thinking to myself this kids gonna stop,
theres like 15ft from where my car is on
the street and the end of his driveway.
He didn't, I slammed on my brakes as hard
and as fast as i could and swerved trying
to miss him but I didn't, he hit the
passenger side of my car. a little 8 year
old boy. I immediatley stopped and called
911. Thank god the kid popped up, a
neighbor carried him across the street and
once he saw all the cops and ambulance
coming the boy started crying. I talked
to the cops, lied about why i was there,
they had an expert come out and wrote in
the report it was not my fault the little
boy was at fault. It's so cliche to say
but I swear it all happened in slow
motion. Driving to buy drugs and I almost
killed a kid, another 6 inches towards the
drivers side of my car and me going just a
little faster, I run him over and he's
dead.
So the next day or that evening I forget
now, but I am perscribed legally 10mg
valium because I have extreme anxiety, and
I am perscribed flexeril because I have a
bad back and it just helps with my muscle
spasms, which pretty much the valium could
do, and I am also on zoloft for depression
and anxiety. But that night or the next
day I took 160mg of oxy 70mg of valium and
around 70mg of flexeril. I felt horrible
and so guilty, I'm a very emotional
person. I blacked out and don't remember
a thing from that night, my fiance said I
was screaming at her and made her cry so
bad, and I was calling people on my phone
trying to talk to them and they couldn't
understand a word I was saying. My fiance
thought I was going to die so she called
my brother and my dad. Thank god I made
it through the night and thank god I have
my beautiful fiance. The next day my dad
and brother came over for an intervention
( My mom lives about 5 minutes away and I
have no relationship with her)... I suffer
from a lot of emotional problems, I was
crying the whole time they talked to me
because I never really think anyone cares
about me, except my fiance. I'm 25 and
have thought that way for as long as i can
remember.
That all happened 3/7 I got high on 3/9
even after almost dying again 160mg up my
nose. I stayed up all night, at about
11am i went to my pharmacy to switch to
zoloft so i was picking that up along with
trying to pick up viagra because the anti
depresants mess with my sex drive, the
pharmacist told me my insurance would not
cover it. So i went upstairs to talk to
the nurse and see what was going on with
the viagra. I asked to talk in private
and she said of course so we went in and
asked about the viagra and then just I had
made up my mind that day to get off. So i
just told her straight up I'm hooked on
oxy, she made me and apt with my doctor
for that day. I talked to my doctor told
him everything that happened, how much I
was taking and how I was taking it.
And what I'm wondering is if the method of
what he put me on to take me off is good.
He is basically weining me off of it. He
prescribed my 20mg oxycodones, which I
gave to my dad to make sure I would not
abuse them, and he set up a regiment to
get me down to one pill a day and then no
more. I just don't want that anymore, and
i would try to be all tough and quit cold
turkey, but I tried that, and I'm not that
tough, mentally or physically.
Hopefully you got through my long ass
story and any input and advice would be
much appreciated, I was thinking that if
after my regiment is over and I'm weining
off, if i get the urge to call my doctor
right away and try to get on suboxone or
methadone or something, I know that urge
is going to be there sometime or another.
I just gotta stick with it. Thanks for
whoever took there time to read my story.
|
neeco1
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2008 Posts: 1
Love Posted: 03-12-08 10:08am
I can't give you the answers that you ask
I hope someone can maybe the lord himself
or a friend or an xuser.... all I know is
I love you son and whatever it takes I'm
there for you Dad
|
LoveU
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Mar 2008 Posts: 1
We All Care Posted: 03-14-08 19:05pm
Wow, you are on the right track seeking
professional help. It takes alot of
courage to face your demons and I commend
you.
It sounds like you have several people
that love you deeply, your Dad, brother
and fiance.
You mentioned that you are estranged from
your mom. Does she know of your agony?
If not, shame on your Dad. You will live
through this and someday be a Dad
yourself. As such, know that for our
children's success in life, it is
imparative that both parents take a
positive active roll together even in
divorce situations. For me knowing the
good and not so good in my children's
lives has always been for the best for
everyone in the long run and we have lots
more than two children.
Remember that no person or family is
perfect. We all have issues. What has
worked for us is to work through the
issues, sometimes with professional help,
then leave the past in the past. Make
today a good day. Good days don't just
happen. Make them good, healthy,
peacefull, loving.
If your mom knows, I'm sure she is in
agony. Allow your mom to love you. She
carried you in her womb for 9 months,
raised you and I'm 100% sure, loves you.
Just as she labored through your birth in
hours of agony. She will labor with you
in your agony until you are at peace and
healthy. As I made mistakes raising my
children, I'm sure your mom make mistakes,
we are not perfect. My adult children now
chose to simply love me. We worked
through past hurtfull issues, recognized
that we could not change them, forgave
each other and moved forward resolving to
leave those issues in the past. Now, my
adult children simply allow me to love
them. Thank God. You are an adult and
can now chose your destiny, chose to allow
your family and fiance to love you
especially your mom.
I felt your pain in reading your note. We
are all connected at some level. YOU ARE
NEVER ALONE. You have the people you know
and the numerous others, like us that you
don't know but also love you.
|
fluffyarmpit
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Mar 2008 Posts: 6 Location: ,
Posted: 03-14-08 20:53pm
You asked if my mom knew. I told her last
night, and the response I got was oh I'm
sorry, hopefully you get better. Her
emotional range is that of a person in a
coma. After I called her and had a fairly
civil conversation, she proceeded to call
my brother 5 times or so until he answered
his phone and yelled at him for not
telling her. My mom knows very little of
my life, which is my fault, and my fault
on purpose. We don't get a long,
doubtfully and sadly probably never will.
So after I found out she had yelled at my
older brother I called her and told her
what I thought of her, she has never been
there for me, she goes back on her word,
yada yada, i could go on and on.
Basically in this point in my life I need
support, not negativity, which is what she
would be very great at giving me. I'm
keeping all the supportive people around
me, no one else. I'm nearly 26, I don't
need her in my life.
|
fluffyarmpit
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Mar 2008 Posts: 6 Location: ,
Posted: 03-14-08 21:54pm
If the person that responded back is my
mom... which i am assuming it is seeing as
how I told you to come to this website and
read my story to understand a little bit
about what has been going on in my life
since you are not a part of it, you wrote
the same stuff as my mom said to me on the
phone last night and that you just signed
up and have one post. You can say you're
my mom and it's your right as a parent all
you want, but until you actually act like
a parent, I don't consider you one, maybe
you yourself need some help, counseling,
anti depressants, anxiety... point being I
haven't considered you much of anything to
me for a long time, and when I'm going
through the toughest time in my life,
honestly I don't need you and would
appreciate you not chymming in with your
wisdom, as if it's going to help me in
some way. Good bye.
|
giants49
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Mar 2008 Posts: 1
From A Dad Posted: 03-15-08 16:43pm
Hi. I am a dad who has children from a
divorce. I also am remarried into a
blended family. You obviously have an
addiction, which you will need to deal
with through rehab and strength on your
part. It seems from your posts that you
are blaming your mother. Your mother is
not the problem, neither is your dad. I
am willing to bet that your dad is
encouraging your estrangement from your
mom. If that is the case, then shame on
him! I had that from my ex-wife, until
she finally got it - that we as parents
need to communicate directly and not
through our kids and keep each other
informed of what is going on with our
children no matter what the age or how we
might feel about each other. From my
experience, children of divorced parents
don't understand that it's not the parents
fault. A child of your age needs to take
responsibility for his own actions. If
you are estranged, look in the mirror and
ask yourself how much you have contributed
to that estrangement. Taking
responsiblility for your actions is not
only the first step to a better and richer
life, but also to recovery from your
addiction. It's easier said than done,
but you can draw from your inner strength
and make it happen. Let the ones that
love you help in whatever way they are
capable, even if it is just encouragement.
Watch out for that pointed finger,
because four fingers are pointing right
back at you. Instead of blaming, take
charge of your own life and except
whatever consequences come your way.
Learn from those consequences and make
whatever adjustments to make your life
better. Thank you for sharing your
issues, and even though I do not know you,
I wish you the best!
|
fluffyarmpit
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Mar 2008 Posts: 6 Location: ,
Posted: 03-15-08 17:08pm
please do not reply to this post in
regards to any issues involving your
opinions on my thoughts on my parents or
anything to do with my parents. You are
completely wrong on everything you said,
my father does not encourage my lack of
communication with my mother, he wishes it
wasn't like that. My mother on the other
hand when I lived with her when i was 21
right after there divorce would yell at me
and scream at me and say I was just like
my father, in a negative manner. You have
your whole thought process twisted on my
issues, and your post neither contributed
to helping me or contributed to
encouraging me. I don't blame my mother
for my addiction, are you kidding me? I'm
26, I make my own decisions in life, not
my mother who I never talk to. I look in
the mirror every day and blame myself. My
dad has been my lifeline, without him I
probably wouldn't be able to kick it, and
he has wished from the very beginning of
there divorce that I had a relationship
with her and encourages me to keep trying.
Don't make assumptions in peoples lives,
ask questions man, I can tell you I'm not
addicted because of my mom... I'm shaking
my head even thinking someone would think
that. Re evaluate your post man... good
luck to you.
|
marvin5
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Mar 2008 Posts: 18 Location: ,
good information Posted: 03-19-08 14:19pm
you should try suboxone. you should check
with your dr. about this. check out this
website for more information: www.oxyabusekills.com/bupe
.html
serious drug or drinking normally is a
symptom of a deeper issue in your life
that you do not want to face.
I hope that you look into this and talk to
your dr. Otherwise, the method you
describe could seriously backfire. You
should be in a supervised program or in a
detox facility for a certain length of
time. This is very hard to do on your
own, especially because snorting it is
much harder to get off, along with the mgs
you are using. Bad stuff. I hope that
this information helps you out. Also, a
12 step program. several options.
|
Jacobs
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Mar 2008 Posts: 6
Posted: 03-19-08 14:45pm
I am a recovering alcoholic who personally
never used narcotics, but who has many,
many, many friends who were once addicted
(to Oxycontin, Heroin, Methadone, etc.) I
also do not know anyone at all who
successfully weaned off narcotics.
Withdrawl sucks, and they have inpatient
medical and non- medical detoxes all over
the country, but the only solution to a
drug problem I know of is to quit taking
the drug, ant to take less. I am a member
of a 12 step program, and suggest that as
well. I have discovered a new way of life
that I never could have dreamed of, and
for the last eight years, have never felt
alone. It sounds hokey, but it isn't. Go
to aa.org. Good luck.
|
marvin5
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Mar 2008 Posts: 18 Location: ,
reply to jacobs Posted: 03-19-08 14:49pm
I wholeheartedly agree. AA can save your
life, and once you commit to it, commit
for life. It also gives opportunities to
mentor others, thus, giving back to the
community and saving lives.
To Fluffy, consider a detox program,
inpatient. Your degree of use, and mg or
use is going to be difficult to wean off
of in the manner listed. Use all the help
around you...family and friends. Do not
hide your use. Make it known. That is
the one way to get all the support you
need. You are WORTH YOUR LIFE.
|
beclean
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Mar 2008 Posts: 4
how is this working? Posted: 03-21-08 19:59pm
I am hoping that the method you are using
to get off this is working? Can you let
us all know?
I am very concerned. I have a child who
is now serving time in prison for drug use
and it is not a place you want to be.
Doing drugs leads people to commit crimes
they would not have ever ever considered
like stealing, robbing, breaking into
homes, or whatever. just to get money for
drugs.
I know my child would have never made
these choices if they did their treatment
the right way: detox in a supervised
inhouse program, and get into an AA
program. I know someone with Kaiser and
they received a great inhouse treatment. I
think that provider offers something like
60 days inhouse.
I know you think no one cares except your
fiance, but I would bet that is not the
case at all. parents love their kids
unconditionally.
Let us know how you are doing.
|
marvin5
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Mar 2008 Posts: 18 Location: ,
checking back here Posted: 03-29-08 18:40pm
to fluffy. I am on the site and looking
to see what is the latest for you and does
not look like you have posted.
Are you ok? why don't you let us know if
you are progressing with getting off all
of the drugs? I wish you the best.
|
lonestarguy
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 579 Location: , Hoosierland, USA
Thanks: 9
Thanked:1
Posted: 03-29-08 19:46pm
Fluffy,
After getting through your post, it
occurred to me that I don't believe you
said how long you have been using oxy. I
was dependent on several of the
major-league meds, including oxy for four
years and it was almost impossible to get
off it alone.
I never snorted oxy and started a weaning
process in Feb. '07 and that lasted a
month before I got impatient with how long
it was taking. So, I quit cold-turkey and
that was a big mistake. No one knows how
their body will react until they actually
quit taking the drug and, in my case, I
was in bed for a solid month and not able
to eat much. I felt tired and sick for
another two months before the drugs
finally left my system.
I found out just how powerful these pain
drugs are when my body starting aching and
crying out for that next pill. I have
degenerative disk disease in my lower
back, so I never really got a high from
the drugs like you do. But, your body has
built up a tolerance for the oxy where it
takes more and more to keep from having
pain.
Here's hoping you have stuck with the
weaning process and have not slipped and
bought some more without your dad's
knowledge. I hate to say this, but it's
true: You are only hurting yourself if you
allow oxy to rule your life.
Believe this. When, not if, you are able
to flush the oxy from your system, you'll
be surprised at how well you feel. It's
like getting a new lease on your life.
I won't lie to you, this will be one of
the hardest things you will ever do in
your life, but you have to do it or you're
going to drastically harm your body. It's
a cliche, but it is the only body you're
going to have.
I have been clean now over a year and I
remember what I felt like on drugs, and I
never want to feel that way again.
|
Fairysue1974
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Mar 2008 Posts: 24 Location: Its Brrrr,
Fluffy Posted: 03-29-08 22:32pm
I wish you lots of luck with this Fluffy,
I am only now realising since talking
here' i am addicted to Oxy also given to
me for 'Degenerative Disk Disease' My Real
pain is horrific but now i believe the Oxy
pain is 10 times worse, Im going to get
myself off it, i was prescribed it by my
Doc without the info of getting hooked, i
just cant wait to be shot of it out of my
body, its causing me more pain and misery
than i ever thought possible. lonestar is
right your hurting yourself but also
people around you that love you dearly
like you Dad' they are hurting too in the
Heart
God Bless you my Dear in all the good
things you are about to do
Fairysue
|
*star*
Moderator
Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 1750 Location: ,
Thanks: 18
Thanked:12
Posted: 03-30-08 18:39pm
I agree with the other posters that have
said that the only successful way that you
will get off the oxy's will be inpatient
detox. They are a hard drug to come off
of.
Please dont get on methadone, that is
simply a substitute for the oxy's. You
will have a hard time coming off of that
as well if you take it for any length of
time as well.
At the very least, you need to go to an
inpatient detox for a couple days to get
the drugs out of your system, and then
consider going to a rehab program for a
period of time. Most insurance companies
will cover at least a 14 day program, but
in order for it to be effective, you
should consider going for at least 30
days.
You need to change your people, places and
things that you associate your drug use
with. Your fiance and your dad seem to be
keeping you on the right track. Lose the
numbers of the people that you get the
pills from. Dont drive by where you get
the pills from...and so on. GO to AA
meetings...Meeting makers make it...
I can go on and on...but I wont. If you
need to talk, PM me. Ive been there done
that and will NEVER go back to that part
of my life.
|
marvin5
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Mar 2008 Posts: 18 Location: ,
checking back to talk to you Posted: 04-01-08 22:39pm
Fluffy,
I can only assume that you are no longer
trying the method suggested or you would
probably be posting on your progress.
I hope you are reading what we are
posting. You really need inpatient detox!
Save yourself, man. Don't go down that
road. Your life is worth it, and YOU are
too. I am praying for you along with
others.
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This page was last updated on June 11, 2008
