So I have suspected for a while that my
girlfriend has had eating issues. I have
noticed her not eating often or enough,
and always not wanting to talk about
eating. She complains about her weight all
the time... This is typically seen mostly
before her period, but lately has been all
the time.
It's been getting vastly worse. She
recently told me that she wanted to loose
20 pounds (which she does NOT need to
do... she's extremely skinny. I think
she's at 115, so 20 is a LOT). She has
started legitimage ways to do this, such
as working out regularly and eating salads
(when she's eating), but she doesn't need
to loose this weight, and on top of the
normal ways, she's falling into unhealthy
too. She also started making references to
throwing up. This really scared me because
I had been suspecting it. I admit that
several times when this came up I reacted
harshly. I didn't mean to, or want to.. I
simply love and care for her, and want her
best, but it came out wrong, and this hurt
her. I tried my best to be gentle and let
her know that no matter what she is going
through I love her.
So tonight she admitted to me that she had
a sort of disorder that is a combination
of both. Here is what she said:
She eats a little every day, but then
feels full, and in fact like she's eaten
too much and is fat after only one small
meal (and by meal I mean really just a
small piece of food.. I know that last
semester she often made a days meal of a
small bag of sunflower seads..). She would
then feel that she can't eat anything
else, so she would tell people she was
eating at home, but would not. She also
said that when she would have to go out to
eat with people, she would eat, but throw
it up later.
The worst, and hardest part for me, is
what she contributed it to. She said that
she's doing it for me. She said that it's
because I make fun of fat people, and that
she is affraid of not being attractive to
me. I tried telling her that I love her
for her, and that nothing she could do or
look like would be unattractive to me,
because I love her for her, which is the
truth. She's an amazing girl, and her
looks are the last thing on the list of
importance to me, but I have given her
signals to believe that it is important to
me. This hurts me so badly, because it
means I'm causing it.
How can I help her? What can I say to her
or do to undo the damage and make her know
that her looks are not important to me,
but also let her know that I think she is
the most beautiful girl in the world? What
can I do for her to get her on the road of
recovery? I know this is a long message,
but I sincerely appreciate any help.
Thanks!
