i found out weeks ago that my boyfriends
ex baby mamma still has feelings for him.
i was on his phone ordering pizza for us
and our friends and a txt came thru from
her (i know i know i already feel bad
cause i read it)
anyways in it she said she was drinking
and thinking that the reason she confesed
that she used her new boyfriend as an
excuse for him not to go visit his
daughter was she was angry that he loved
me and jealous because he lived with me
and that she just couldnt bare to see him
leave again. i didnt confront him, i was
shocked cause she had done something so
stupid,childish and wrong in not letting
him see his lil girl.
i didnt confront him or anything cause i
felt he would tell me when he felt ready,
but he hasnt. that night he was quiet and
looked a little irritated but he would
still hold me, kiss me etc he didnt change
towards me at all.
hes actually become a little bit more
loving since then, looking me in the eyes,
telling me he loves me, helping out around
the house more. i even heard him telling
his best friend he knew he had something
true and good and that he really loved me
etc
so im just wondering why didnt he feel the
need to tell me something like that? maybe
he didnt feel it was important because he
knows he has something good and does love
me? guys perspective would be great thank
you!!
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LostInWI
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Aug 2007 Posts: 11
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 04-30-08 16:42pm
Here is a guys perspective.
He no longer cares for his ex. So telling
you he got some stupid rambling from
someone he no longer has any feelings for
would be irrelevant to his feelings for
you and he may just feel that if he were
to share this with you, it may cause
stress on yours and his relationship.
The only connection he has with his ex is
due to his child.
Does he talk to you about his child and
how he feels about his child?
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PlacidIntricacy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Apr 2008 Posts: 76 Location: Ohio, 43566 USA
Thanks: 5
Thanked:7
Another guy's perspective. Posted: 04-30-08 18:16pm
Sounds like he has no intrest in her,
which you probably know. and dont worry
for snooping in his phone. everyone gets
carried away every now and then and does
something "childish" like that. taking
someone away from seeing their kid is a
horrible thing to do. i would go crazy.
and if he loves you, he loves you and you
shouldn't have to worry about anything in
the first place.
Ex's can be difficult though. espesially
if they still have feelings. The thing you
have to realise is there really REALLY
shouldn't be anything that should keep a
father (or mother) away from their
child... and you have to give him that. If
he thinks he really has something good,
everything should be just fine. =D
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PlacidIntricacy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Apr 2008 Posts: 76 Location: Ohio, 43566 USA
Thanks: 5
Thanked:7
Another guy's perspective. Posted: 04-30-08 18:16pm
Sounds like he has no intrest in her,
which you probably know. and dont worry
for snooping in his phone. everyone gets
carried away every now and then and does
something "childish" like that. taking
someone away from seeing their kid is a
horrible thing to do. i would go crazy.
and if he loves you, he loves you and you
shouldn't have to worry about anything in
the first place.
Ex's can be difficult though. espesially
if they still have feelings. The thing you
have to realise is there really REALLY
shouldn't be anything that should keep a
father (or mother) away from their
child... and you have to give him that. If
he thinks he really has something good,
everything should be just fine. =D
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Rosie H
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jun 2007 Posts: 1136 Location: Phoenix, AZ, USA
Thanks: 17
Thanked:7
Posted: 04-30-08 18:52pm
I would have to agree with the guys
perspective. They know how other men
think.
But I feel he did not say anything cause
it really wasnt a big deal. Also he didnt
want to upset what he now has with you.
Dont worry.
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ladyT02
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Sep 2007 Posts: 238 Location: ,
Thanks: 6
Thanked:3
Posted: 05-01-08 04:55am
LostInWi, he actually does talk to me
about her, when he gets pics he shows them
to me and i comment cause i get mushy
cause shes so cute lol he tells me how
shes doing, school, etc lil things like
that.
so hes very open about his daughter with
me you guys are right,
i had a feeing that he didnt tell me cause
he doesnt feel anything for her anymore
and telling me would jus cause unnecessary
stress between us. i dont object to him
having a daughter or even going to visit
her at all i even supported him when he
was making plans to go, until she lied and
made up that stupid excuse. but thank you
so much guys really i appeciate your input
: )
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Beline
Supporter
Joined: 01 Mar 2008 Posts: 481 Location: , South Africa
Thanks: 123
Thanked:142
Posted: 05-01-08 05:42am
I commend you on being so supportive.
He’s a lucky man, and he obviously knows
it.
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LostInWI
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Aug 2007 Posts: 11
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 05-01-08 06:02am
The fact that he talks/shares his daughter
with you should speak volumes more about
him and how he feels about you, instead of
some rambling of an EX.
I would recommend that you feel more
secure in your relationship with him
because he shares something that is
important and dear to him, and even more
secure in the fact that he choose to not
bring in the extra baggage of his EX into
your relationship.
And even more-so because you cared enough
to find out more for yourself.
Good luck to the both of you.
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ladyT02
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Sep 2007 Posts: 238 Location: ,
Thanks: 6
Thanked:3
Posted: 05-01-08 22:27pm
aww thanx you guys, you guys are great at
giving advice you made my day!
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Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3399 Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
Posted: 05-13-08 11:49am
Maybe he didn't say anything because he
knows you read it. You can tell when
people read text messages because it
doesn't show up as unread anuymore. maybe
he acted irritated because you read it but
didn't want to say anything. He wants to
let you know how much he cares for YOU and
not his ex.
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ladyT02
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Sep 2007 Posts: 238 Location: ,
Thanks: 6
Thanked:3
Posted: 05-27-08 21:51pm
i know him, if it would have been like
that im pretty sure he would have
confronted me about it. but its been a
while since this happened and although she
is still sending him pictures of his
daughter and keeping him up to date,he
doesnt have the usual communication he had
with her before. hes told me if she starts
a conversation he ends it. inless its
about his daughter needing something or
wanting to talk to him then he.ll talk
with her.but everything is going great
right now for us thanx everyone!
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Xalleah08
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2008 Posts: 69 Location: Bellingham, WA USA
Thanks: 1
Thanked:2
Posted: 06-01-08 19:25pm
Don't worry about it. Tell him you read
the stupid message and that you know he
loves you but you feel guilty for reading
the message and doubting him a little for
the short time you did. Reassure him that
you think his daughter is cute and
adorable and that you think that she
should just let him see his daughter. Tell
him the truth about the situation and see
what he says. he probably wont' get mad.
and that she just couldnt bare to see him
leave again. i didnt confront him, i was
shocked cause she had done something so
stupid,childish and wrong in not letting
him see his lil girl.
you guys are right,
i had a feeing that he didnt tell me cause
he doesnt feel anything for her anymore
and telling me would jus cause unnecessary
stress between us. i dont object to him
having a daughter or even going to visit
her at all i even supported him when he
was making plans to go, until she lied and
made up that stupid excuse. but thank you
so much guys really i appeciate your input
: )
