forbiddenbuttrying
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homeschooling for pregnant teen
Posted: 05-20-08 08:11am
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Hello I am 15 years old and I am pregnant
the dad of my baby is 19 and is moving in
with his new girlfriend and her abbay and
wants me to get an abortion or wants me to
sign over all of my rights to him... I am
thinking about going homeschooled to take
care of my baby but at the same time I am
considering dropping out and getting my
GED!!! I do not knwo what to do he lied to
me got me pregnant and then he left... He
siad that he never really loved me and
that he just felt bad and that he wanted
in my pants I do not know what to do...
Now he is asking me if he can be there as
the dad and I do not know what to tell
him... He is also really into drugs... If
anyone can help me then please I would
love it thank you and please hurry
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PenguinsRus
Supporter
Joined: 05 Nov 2007 Posts: 1230 Location: New York, NY United States
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Posted: 05-20-08 09:28am
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He can't tell you what to do with your
baby. You have to look into your heart
and see what YOU want. Finishing school
is very important. If you can, I'd
recommend staying in school and
graduating. If you can't, a GED is the
next best thing. It is terrible that he
hurt you so bad. At the same time, every
child deserves a father. If he is into
drugs that isn't a good environment for a
child. I would recommend telling him that
he can be a part of the child's life (this
doesn't mean you have to date or be
together, and it doesn't mean you have to
give the baby up to him. maybe he can
have visits once a week/whatever you
and/or the court agrees on) only if he
cleans up his act and stops the drugs.
Good luck hun, this is a tough situation
but you can do it. Stay strong.
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jessamyn
Moderator
Joined: 18 Aug 2004 Posts: 4112 Location: San Diego, CA
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Posted: 05-20-08 10:30am
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How far along are you? Do your parents
know? If not they need to asap? they can
help you with a "plan"
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Dannzibelle
Supporter
Joined: 23 Oct 2006 Posts: 3811 Location: South East, England
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kerryn
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Jun 2007 Posts: 148 Location: wellington, New zealand
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Posted: 05-20-08 21:22pm
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my ex is also into drugs, and left me
recently, i am 35 weeks pregnant. I told
him he could be a part of babys life, but
that he had to have supervised visits and
was not allowed to take baby overnight
unless he stopped drugs and only smoked
cigarrettes outside. I also told him that
if he didnt like those terms we could take
it to court, where he knows id win because
he cant pass a drug test. Hope that helps.
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forbiddenbuttrying
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Apr 2008 Posts: 18 Location: ohio, United States
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Posted: 05-22-08 14:21pm
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Thank you to all and For the one that siad
does my parents know yes and thwey are
helping me and the dad is now atrying to
stop drugs and smoking and wants to be
there for the baby and is coming around
but wants it alot more than I will let him
and the only reason I won't let him alot
is cuz of his girlfriend and her baby and
I am about 4-7 weeks along I think!!!
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aochriss
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Apr 2008 Posts: 742
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Posted: 05-23-08 23:28pm
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He wants you to have a baby, but he has a
new girlfriend?
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DeseRAE
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Mar 2008 Posts: 28 Location: North Bonneville, WA United States
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Posted: 05-24-08 20:36pm
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So he wants you to either get an abortion
or let him be a big part of this baby's
life, although he has a new girlfriend
with a baby?!
Obviously, you need to do what you think
is best. It sounds like he wouldn't be a
very good father. If he's 19, does/did
drugs and was with a 15 year old just to
have sex with her, it doesn't make him
sound like a very mature person. On top of
that he left you [I'm assuming..?] for
some other girl with a baby.
However I don't know him, so I could be
wrong.
Just my opinion. In any case, I'm sorry
you're in this situation.
I wish you the best of luck :]
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The_one
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Jan 2008 Posts: 10 Location: ,
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Re: homeschooling for pregnant teen
Posted: 05-26-08 17:11pm
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| forbiddenbuttrying
wrote: | | Hello I am 15 years old and
I am pregnant the dad of my baby is 19 and
is moving in with his new girlfriend and
her abbay and wants me to get an abortion
or wants me to sign over all of my rights
to him... I am thinking about going
homeschooled to take care of my baby but
at the same time I am considering dropping
out and getting my GED!!! I do not knwo
what to do he lied to me got me pregnant
and then he left... He siad that he never
really loved me and that he just felt bad
and that he wanted in my pants I do not
know what to do... Now he is asking me if
he can be there as the dad and I do not
know what to tell him... He is also really
into drugs... If anyone can help me then
please I would love it thank you and
please hurry |
Omj, that sounds like a bad situation!!!!
HEre's a link for help, pm me for
anything!!!!
http://www.heartbeatinter
national.org/
http://www.lifecall.org/
http://www.priestsforl
ife.org/crisis.html
Good luck, I'll be praying for you!!!!
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forbiddenbuttrying
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Apr 2008 Posts: 18 Location: ohio, United States
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Posted: 05-28-08 13:54pm
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Hey it is me again now he is telling me
that he wants to help with the baby and be
here and raise the baby and that he wants
to get back together with me if we can and
if I want to... He is leaving the girl
that he is with on sunday when he sees
her... But I have this really bad gut
feeling that he is lying to me again and I
do not know what to do about it... He
claims that he made a mistake and that he
thinks that he might love me and wants to
try to... But I don't know cuz UI can not
handle being hurt anymore do you guys have
any advice for that one thanks for all the
advice and help so far it has helped alot
also,.....
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aochriss
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Apr 2008 Posts: 742
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Posted: 05-28-08 22:33pm
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Where are your parents during all of this?
I don't know where you live, but isn't
what your ex bf did considered statutory
rape?
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AyaMiyaki
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jun 2006 Posts: 8545 Location: Floating on a cloud, United States
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Posted: 05-29-08 10:10am
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First of all, it's your choice whether you
get back with him or not. You obviously
don't trust him not to leave you again,
and you don't trust him to leave his
girlfriend now. You don't even know if
he's lying to you right now or not.
WHY would you want to be with someone like
this? It will only bring you heartache and
pain. You're worth so much more than this,
and you're selling yourself short if you
let him treat you this way. You deserve to
be treated like a queen.
Relationships need loyalty and trust. He
isn't loyal - he's proven that already -
and you don't trust him. What kind of
relationship is that? Just because you're
pregnant doesn't mean you don't deserve
the world from someone, and it's obvious
he isn't able, or willing, to give that to
you.
If he wants to be involved in his child's
life, I think that's great. But I think
you should wait on getting back with him
until he PROVES that he's worth getting
back with. Don't allow yourself to be used
by this guy. You're going to be a mother -
probably a single mother - and you need to
learn to stand up and be strong.
It's better to be alone than with someone
who treats you so terribly.
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forbiddenbuttrying
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Apr 2008 Posts: 18 Location: ohio, United States
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Posted: 06-03-08 09:19am
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New update... So me and him were going to
get abck together and he went to brake up
with his gf but instaed they talked
everythng out and worked everything out
and are better than ever now and I got an
ultrasound and I made him a copy and the
funny part of all this is he said he don't
give a shi* about it and then goes and
tells his gf thast he can't wait to see it
and to hold this baby for the first time
ever... He also told her everything about
him that he has never told anyone else
before and what not... Well except for e
of course... But me and him also slept
together again since I found out that I
was pregnant by him and he had told me
that he was braking up with her the nect
time he talked to her... So I trusted him
and look where it git me again... I do not
know if I should trust him around this kid
or not and i am really scared and confused
right now and I do not know what to do...
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Lilly Ivy
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Aug 2007 Posts: 1699 Location: Newell, WV
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Posted: 06-03-08 10:04am
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if he told you he doesn't care, then don't
let him see it. I'd milk him of every
penny you can since he helped make it.
It's not just your responsibility, it's
his too. Whether he gives you money or you
make him through a court. I'm sure they'd
be interested in why an adult is having
relations with a 15yr old. I'm sorry you
are going through this, I can't imagine
what it must be like. I hope everything
works out!
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babyinoct08
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 May 2008 Posts: 33 Location: Shawano, Wisconsin, USA
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Posted: 06-04-08 14:01pm
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Okay.. Im 19 and I broke up with my bf
before finding out I was pregnant because
of him doing drugs and always ditching me
for his friends and stuff.. Basically we
never spent time together and I was sick
of always sitting at home alone. In the
beginning of my pregnancy he was a really
big jerk to me and treated me like s***
all the time. After getting my ultrasound
though, he came around. He quit doing
drugs and even smoking. But now he
drinks, like every weekend. It's getting
better but Im also scared that he will
never change. anyway. Why dont you tell
him that HE can sign off HIS rights if he
is going to talk badly about you being
pregnant. Thats exactly what I did, and
my babys dad decided to come around really
fast. Now we are working on getting along
but I refuse to date him again at this
point because I cant trust him and I was
too stressed while I was dating him. Just
work on your emotional relationship, it
has worked great for my baby's dad and I.
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aochriss
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Apr 2008 Posts: 742
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Posted: 06-04-08 14:16pm
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What effect does this have?
"Why dont you tell him that HE can sign
off HIS right"
He is still legally required to pay child
support, right? So why would the guy
voluntarily sign off his right?
Sorry if it's a dumb question.
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aochriss
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Apr 2008 Posts: 742
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Thanked:175
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Posted: 06-04-08 14:17pm
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| forbiddenbuttrying
wrote: | | New update... So me and him
were going to get abck together and he
went to brake up with his gf but instaed
they talked everythng out and worked
everything out and are better than ever
now and I got an ultrasound and I made him
a copy and the funny part of all this is
he said he don't give a shi* about it and
then goes and tells his gf thast he can't
wait to see it and to hold this baby for
the first time ever... He also told her
everything about him that he has never
told anyone else before and what not...
Well except for e of course... But me and
him also slept together again since I
found out that I was pregnant by him and
he had told me that he was braking up with
her the nect time he talked to her... So I
trusted him and look where it git me
again... I do not know if I should trust
him around this kid or not and i am really
scared and confused right now and I do not
know what to
do... |
What is the reason you want to have this
baby?
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Mabel
Moderator
Joined: 09 Mar 2006 Posts: 8963 Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
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Posted: 06-04-08 14:20pm
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No credible judge is going to allow the
signing off of rights.
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babyinoct08
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 May 2008 Posts: 33 Location: Shawano, Wisconsin, USA
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woops!
Posted: 06-04-08 15:03pm
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After reading about it I guess that is
right.. I was naive for believing my
parents that I could just go to the
couthouse and have Travis sign a piece of
paper and never have to deal with him
again. But after reading about it online,
usually the only way you can have someone
sign off parental rights is through
adoption ex:if I married another man and I
wanted him to adopt my baby then travis
could sign off his rights giving all
paternal rights to my new husband.. sorry
for the ignorance I thought it was just as
easy as running down to the courthouse and
saying "He wants to sign off parental
rights" judge would say "ok" give us a
piece of paper, Travis would sign and have
nothing to do with me or the baby ever
again walaa! lol but obviously it doesnt
work that way.
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Users who thank babyinoct08 for this post:
Mabel
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Mabel
Moderator
Joined: 09 Mar 2006 Posts: 8963 Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
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Posted: 06-04-08 15:06pm
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No, it doesn't work that way. Your child
deserves to be supported by 2 parents.
Even if you personally never deal with him
again, he is the father of your child. He
is nothing to you, but 1/2 of your child's
genetic make-up. Both of you owe it to
that baby you created to provide
everything you can for him/her.
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