Hi folks. I recently had a young girl ask
me how to tell her friends and parents
that she was a member of the GLBT
community. That is always a touchy subject
and should be handled delicately. Here is
what I came up with. Hope it helps any one
who is going threw this difficult phase of
life.
• Accept Yourself First. Accepting to
yourself that you are bisexual or gay is
one of the biggest dilemmas you have to
face when the issue of sexuality arises.
If you plan to come out from the closet
and tell the world that you are indeed
gay, you have to be confident first in
admitting that you are, or else people
will just shrug their shoulders thinking
that you are just undergoing a phase that
you will soon get over. Show them that you
may have different sexual orientation but
you are still proud of who you are.
Instead of opening the topic with eyes
lowered as if you have committed a crime,
look at them straight in the eye with
dignity. In this way, they will have the
perception that you are sure about what
you are saying, thus earning you their
respect for being honest.
• Be Ready For the Consequences. Any
action has a corresponding reaction so
bear in mind that revealing your true self
to everyone has its own upshots. Ask
yourself first if you are ready for the
results of your decision. If your answer
is “No” then quit the idea of coming
out or just delay it until you are not
prepared to accept harsh words or rolls in
the eyes from the public or even from your
friends.
• Come out First to People Whom You
Trust. Friends are usually the best
persons to come out first, however, be
sure they are your close friends and not
just any acquaintances in school or
office. On the other hand, if you feel
anxious in coming out to a large group of
friends, consider coming out to them one
by one or by twos. You can easily spot in
the group if who are the open minded ones
so make them the first in your list. Do
let them know that your confession of
being a gay does not change you and your
friendship. Knowing that you have a friend
who supports and understands you will
later on give you the confidence to face
the world with head up high regardless of
who you are. If it goes the other way
around, maybe they are not really true
friends.
• Be Lenient in Coming out to Parents.
Admitting to your parents that you are gay
is the most nerve wracking part of coming
out. Although they have been the most
understanding and supportive parents in
the whole world, dropping them the bomb
about your sexual orientation does not
always assure a positive reaction from
them. Nevertheless, it is always a nice
feeling of unloading yourself from the
emotional turmoil inside especially to
your folks, so bring it on. You may start
with a discussion on a movie about gays
and ask their opinions about it, this way,
you will know their stand on the said
issue. Remember, you don’t have to come
out to both of them at the same time. If
you feel more comfortable in confessing to
your mom first about your sexuality, then
admit it to her first then ask her support
later on if you feel like coming out to
your dad already. On the other hand,
accept the fact that they will also need
time to take in what you have just
confessed just like what you have
undergone during your self acceptance.
Anticipate angry, surprised, defensive,
shocked and denial feedbacks from them.
They’re just normal reactions; give them
some space to think and to come out to
themselves as well.
Alternatively, if you are still being
supported by your parents whom you feel
will surely disown you when you come out,
it is more sensible to come out to them
when you already have a job that can
support you and your needs.
• Don’t Mind Others. Face the fact
that not all people are open minded
especially on sexuality issues, but
don’t let them hold you back. A few
inconspicuous whispering about you won’t
kill. What’s important is you and your
feelings and what they think and say does
not matter anymore.
Peace,Love and Pride,
Homer
