how to escape relationship Posted: 03-24-08 08:31am
Please help me!!! I've been involved in a
relationship that has put me into misery
for a year and I really want to call it
off, but I see no way out.
It started a year a ago, I met her in
another country while travelling and she
is kind and gentle and everything.
Eventually she traveled to my country and
stayed with me, thats when problems
started. Her emotions are like a roller
coaster, or rather someone with bipolar
disorder, sometimes her feelings are hot
and intimate but other times she goes
crazy, has no confidence in me and wants
to leave. I've lost count the number of
times I had to beg to make her stay
because I really wanted to stay with her.
After a year of doing that on a weekly
basis, I've finally ran out of steam and
completely lost confidence in the
relationship myself. I'm getting headaches
and I'm in misery. Because of that I'm sad
all the time and every time when she sees
I'm sad she's calmly ask if I want her to
leave, doesn't matter what I say she'll
start going all emotional and cry, starts
saying "I'll leave next month"....then
suddenly "I'll leave right now", then
starts packing and eventually it always
comes down to "I'll go commit suicide".
My conscience wouldn't allow me to let her
die, so I end up begging to make up. This
has happened so many times and now I've
even lost the will to beg, so a couple of
times when she says "I'll go commit
suicide" I let her leave. Then she'll come
back after 15 min and tells me she took a
couple of sleeping pills. She just sits
and cries and gets all drowsy. So I spends
hours watching her and get ready to call
the ambulance if she loses consciousness,
but she always end up fine.
I don't want to involve the police or
ambulance cos I feel its just attention
seeking behaviour and I'll be wasting
their time since it's not an actual
overdose. So now I'm stuck, trying to put
on a happy face. She refuses to move out
or go anywhere, no amount of reasoning
will change her mind, refuses to see a
psychiatrist, and I just live in fear of
her emotions. Jesus, I'm not joking about
this, if anyone has any ideas about how I
can escape without her pulling another
stunt, I'm all ears.
Unfortunately we're living in an apartment
that is rented under my name, so I can't
just disappear even though I've thought
about it.
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fiona05
Supporter
Joined: 21 Dec 2005 Posts: 663 Location: , Norn Iron
Thanks: 1
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Posted: 03-26-08 05:33am
restraining order? i'm not joking. if you
have done everything to try and convince
her to seek help for herself and she won't
then it's just not your problem anymore.
if she hurts herself it is not your fault
or your responsibility, frankly. every
person is responsible for their own
happinness. she can't lay all this on you.
moving is still an option, isn't it? i was
in a long distance relationship for 2.5
years (albeit not an abusive or psychotic
one!) but breaking out of that
relationship is made so much easier by the
distance. i found i was able to make a
clean break from him without having to
worry about bumping into him everywhere,
and it helped me get past it faster.
let us know what you do and how it goes.
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beclean
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Mar 2008 Posts: 4
suicide? Posted: 03-30-08 11:55am
she is probably mentally ill and is using
that as a control. if you want to be
controlled, stay with her, if not, cut ALL
ties, and you will not be responsible.
First, it is obvious she is making YOU the
responsible person for her life and she is
manipulating you. I think you know that
now and are wise to it.
Cut the relationship. You will feel a
burden lifted. she will go on to her
next victim. go to the police and give
her a notice of eviction.
