I like spending time with my girlfriend a little too much Posted: 04-01-08 19:09pm
So im in High School and Ive been going
out with this girl for a while, we get
along great and never have any problems,
and i absolutley love spending time with
her more than anything. But thats my
problem when shes not around or we cant
hang out I dont know what to do with
myself, things i enjoyed before sound
boring and are unappealing if she isnt
involved. I still like spending time with
my friends but id much rather spend time
with her. just as an example, I thought i
had everything planned out in my life too,
I new exactly what I wanted, to go to the
naval academy, and i felt pretty confident
that that was what i wanted to do. Now im
almost convinced i dont want to go because
that would mean i wouldnt get to see her.
I dont think this is healthy yet i love my
relationship with my girlfriend but i feel
like my future and friendships are being
hurt as all I want to do is spend time
with her. Sorry for rambling but i just
dont know what to do next
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love_pinkish
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Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 722 Location: Sulphur, LA USA
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Posted: 04-01-08 19:55pm
well how does she feel about it?
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pheasant
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Apr 2008 Posts: 6
Posted: 04-01-08 20:21pm
well the first thing i did was talk to her
about it, and she actually helped me
figure out what was actually wrong. I just
had a lot of stress and i didnt connect
the two. But she wants me to enjoy things
other than spending time with her as she
believes if i dont eventually we will have
a fight and not enjoy our time together.
SHe says she likes spending time with me
too but that its important to her that i
find other things i like just as much.
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love_pinkish
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Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 722 Location: Sulphur, LA USA
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Posted: 04-01-08 20:26pm
I was like this with my bf, now fiance.
ALL I wanted to do is spend time with him
and if I didn't I would be sad. Like
times he would go out with his friends.
Eventually I just got to a point where I
felt that I can't force him and I talked
to him about it and he said he loves to
spend time with me, but his friends too.
Now we live together so he's trap!!! I'm
just joking. How long have you two been
dating? Usually in the begining of
relationships it's like that for a while.
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pheasant
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Apr 2008 Posts: 6
Posted: 04-01-08 20:32pm
4 months and its not that she doesnt want
to spend time with me, i just cant think
of anything id rather do more and I feel
like im not taking advantage of
oppurtunities because id rather spend time
with her. i.e. before i asked her out I
was looking for a summer program so that i
might get a chance to visit a collee and
find what sort of things i like. But all
the programs were several weeks and after
i asked her out i decided id rather see
her than go to camp even though id been
set on going to the camp before hand. She
hasnt effected my grades, but we are both
worried im isolating my self and not
reaching out.
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love_pinkish
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Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 722 Location: Sulphur, LA USA
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Posted: 04-01-08 20:40pm
I know how it can be when you're in love.
You shouldn't let this get in the way of
school. If you two plan on spending the
rest of your lifes together you should
know that you need to go to college to get
a better job to support you and her. I
know she would understand that. You just
have to get into that mindstate that
she'll always be around to spend time
with.
i hope i'm kind of helping you out here!
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pheasant
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Apr 2008 Posts: 6
Posted: 04-01-08 20:45pm
im not saying i want to spend the rest of
my life with her or that were in love, ive
only been with her about 4 and known her
for 5. Its just more that I wanted to do
things before i was going out with her, i
had plans for the near future and i am no
longer intrested by them simply because it
would mean i wouldnt be able to see her.
should i give up on these things, i have
tried and cant really give them up as i
dont know what i really want. Im worried
that i am being nearsighted.
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love_pinkish
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Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 722 Location: Sulphur, LA USA
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Posted: 04-01-08 21:00pm
i say don't pass up your opportunites.
what if you two don't last? then you'll
most probably look back and wish you
wouldn't taken those oppportunites that
was available. you should think about it
talk with a friend or your parents.
follow your heart.
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Maddie34
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Joined: 06 Oct 2007 Posts: 1609 Location: ,
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Posted: 04-01-08 22:58pm
The tricky thing about high school
relationships is that at the end of high
school its the beginning of your life.
Things can go either way, But I don't
think you should ever make decisions about
your future based off of a high school
relationship. The way I see it, if its
meant to last then it can handle some
distance right?
I wouldn't be too upset about being
confused at this point-- it may not have
anything to do with your girlfriend. I
changed my mind five times before I
finally decided where I wanted to go after
highschool, now that I'm here I've already
changed my mind once and I'm still
wondering if I'm where I want to be. So
just make the decisions the best you can
now, nothing is ever set in stone.
So you're getting a little dependent on
her. You need to start finding things you
like now. Go out with your friends.
Get some new hobbies. There are a lot of
things you can do.
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pheasant
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Apr 2008 Posts: 6
Posted: 04-02-08 15:10pm
thats pretty much exactly what she said,
but i guess i needed to hear it twice.
Thanks for all the advice!
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ladyT02
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Sep 2007 Posts: 238 Location: ,
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Posted: 04-09-08 05:51am
if you go into the military and you guys
stay together and if shes one of the good
women shes be there for you. unfortunately
my boyfriend years before i met him was
with someone who cheated on him when he
was in the army. after that a year later
he met me and was showing symptoms of
being clingy. we would text all the time.
it got to the point were it started
interfiering with my job but we worked it
out tho, he was still hurt a lil but i
proved him i wasnt gonna hurt him. now
that were living together i used to be
clingy too lol but its all about trusting
your partner. if you guys really want to
get serious you.ll slowly get used to the
fact tha you cant be together all the
time. dont worry.
