I need support with depressed husband Posted: 05-24-08 05:51am
where to start ?? I dont' really know
where to so I'm just going to waffle and
hope you stay with it
my husband hasn't been himself for a
couple of years now , he has always been
an ambitious man with plenty of enthusiasm
, drive , confidence etc and everyone has
always joked that I deserve a medal for
staying with him for so long ( as he can
be quite over the top sometimes )
for a while now he has been totally
unhappy in his job , our marriage has gone
through hell , I have been blamed a lot
for things going wrong when I have known
deep down he has had a problem
he took a chance and changed careers
taking a drop in money as well
he has now decided after 3 months he
doesn't like the new job and needs to
change again
we are trying so hard to work on our 22
year marriage and its hard this just puts
added pressure on us
he finally went to the doctors this week
who said he is depressed and has
prescribed anti depressents
he has gone back to his old company who
are trying to put a deal to him to get him
back but yet again it could mean less
money
while I want him to be happy in work I am
not a risk taker and I feel at our ages 43
and 44 we should be looking forward to a
comfortable lifestyle but I do understand
that if he can find a job that he is happy
in then it will speed up his recovery (
well I think it will ??? ) and I can have
my husband back at the moment he is like a
stranger
on top of all this I have feelings that I
don't like towards him , he has made me so
unhappy and I have taken the blame for so
much I feel so hurt even though I know its
not really him its the depression , are
these feelings normal , I feel as though
he has brought me down with him and I am
struggling to get back up again
my family say that I should go to the
doctors as well but I feel that people
will look on us as crap parents if we both
can't cope
I want a bright and settled future with
him and appreciate that sometimes you have
to go back to go forward ( we've done it
before more than once I just didn't really
want to do it again ) I feel so confused
and upset with everything I just feel that
I need support as well
thanks for taking the time to read this I
hope you answer me
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CarolDiane
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Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 2393
Thanks: 111
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Posted: 05-24-08 15:15pm
I think you have already put a lot of
years and have been through alot together.
If it were me, I would try and find a
counsler that you both can see as mates
and work on this. I think you feeling as
mixed up because there has been such a
change in him you don't know who he is
anymore. The reality is, you do know who
he is and most likely still love him
inside that shell. With a little help, I
think the two of you will be fine. Just
understand that depression is reality and
it take the both of you to overcome it.
You can do it, I know you can.
thanks for replying
trouble is I am so mixed up I just don't
know what to think about things any more
he is working this week and I have looked
forward to him going out as it gives me a
bit of space and I've never felt like that
before
he has always worked long hours and I've
always wanted him to be home more but now
I just dont' know what I want
I do love him and I know once the tablets
start to kick in and he sorts his job out
things will start to improve but until
then its hard
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Fairy*Godmother
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Joined: 11 Oct 2003 Posts: 1428 Location: , Georgia USA
Thanks: 63
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You Go Girlfriend Posted: 08-20-08 19:14pm
I am clapping my hands for you. Instead of
throwing in the towel, you are stepping up
to the plate and working towrds saving
your marriage. I am so proud of you. So
many people would have just called it
quits nad gave up. You;ve been the butt
end of things for a long time, and you
feel hurt and depressed at times as well.
I just know in my heart thigns are going
to work out for you. You are kinda like a
rock for him...I know exactly what you
mean about him going to work and you've
have some free time.
