Joined: 02 Dec 2007 Posts: 364 Location: Vestal/LI, NY USA
Thanks: 7
Thanked:3
Posted: 04-10-08 15:56pm
We know you provided emotionally for them
but you did not provide financially and
there's a lot more to having children then
being able to feed them and comfort them
and love them.
How can you drive them to doctors appts?
And when you are able to drive how would
you pay for gas and insurance making
barely any money? When all the money you
make goes to your kids..you want to be
able to feed them right? What about a
house or an apartment? How will you pay
for that?
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gobbledygook
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Apr 2008 Posts: 21
Posted: 04-10-08 16:11pm
It sounds like you miss your little
brother and sister. Why did you move back
with your mom? Would you be able to move
back with your dad and step mom if you
asked?
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lele25
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Dec 2007 Posts: 497 Location: Southland, USA
Thanks: 22
Thanked:37
Posted: 04-10-08 16:13pm
Are you delusional??? Seriously??? You
think that you can take care of a child at
13, and provide for it by opening up a
savings account? What do you plan on
putting in the savings account? Your
motives for having a baby are completely
self serving and ridiculous. I'm not a
therapist but even I can see that your
thinking is somewhere along the lines of
....."I had a really crappy childhood, was
not given the love and attention that I
needed, so I'm going to have my own baby
and give it all the things I was denied".
The fact that you are so blatantly
clueless to this is further proof of you
immature mind set.....hmmmm immaturity,
yet another reason why you shouldn't have
a child...should I go on?
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softerxsin
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Jan 2008 Posts: 133 Location: ,
Posted: 04-10-08 16:33pm
im not taking anyones side... but
seriously there are kids out there that
take care of their baby brothers and
sisters because of their dead beat parents
so dont attack her because she is just
"looking out" she could honestly be
raising them. but having a baby at the age
of 13 is extreme. i mean im 18 and
pregnant with my first and im still a
baby. i thought i knew what i was getting
myself into but i dont anymore. while you
are carrying this child all you will think
about is "where is all this money going to
come from for the crib, basinet, changing
table, dresser, exc." i mean im lucky when
it comes to money thats because of my
fiance. but what if something happens?
what if he gets hurt and cant work
anymore.. he didnt finish highschool and
he didnt even get a ged. he is working
construction. i mean yeah we also have a
store but come on how do i know that
buisness wont run to the ground. there are
so many what ifs. just think long and
hard. i can tell you know the
responsiblity of raising a child but do
you know how much money? you cant do all
this with a dead end job. yeah you can get
medicaid, wic, and food stamps. but that
doesnt pay for everything. just wait
please. im just looking out for you. you
seem like you went through a tough life
and you dont want to make it worse. its to
much stress. like i said im 15 weeks and
im stressed out about my little boy.
pleeeeaseee wait.
ps. taking online classes seems like its
going to be easy but its not! you have be
on there at a certain time and what if you
have to take your baby to the doctors
because he has a horrible ear infection..
its going to be hard. and you need to
devote your time to one thing or another
or you're going to wear yourself out. i
would choose school and you can get a
career and save money until the time
comes.
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softerxsin
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Jan 2008 Posts: 133 Location: ,
Posted: 04-10-08 16:35pm
also you and your boyfriend cant drive
riding a bus with a newborn and carrying
the carrier and diaper bag no fun.
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Amethyst_Butterfly
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Mar 2008 Posts: 567 Location: UT, US
Thanks: 17
Thanked:30
Posted: 04-10-08 16:39pm
You are NOT a mother, you ARE a child just
like them. Enjoy your childhood, while it
lasts, stop trying to find ways to fill
the void, Babies will not love you, they
will take from you, babies are very
selfish. Try looking into all the care
within just the first year, could you
really come up with that. A child is for
life. There is no turning back. Your body
is still developing, it will not hold a
child as well as if you were older. Your
way way way too young.
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Reptar
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Oct 2007 Posts: 389
Thanks: 44
Thanked:13
Posted: 04-10-08 16:40pm
Waking up for her nightmares is different
then waking up every couple hours to feed
or calm them down. Since you're only 13
and you supposedly stayed home from school
and cleaned the house and took care of
your siblings, I'm going to assume you at
least failed one grade because when people
actually have children and have to do that
all by themselves they need a lot of time
before the kids are going to school. Since
you're 13 and have probably been working a
year at most, you're at most making a
dollar over minimum wage. So tell me, how
is your 9 dollar an hour job going to
support a child? You're in school 8 hours
a day, which means you can work at most 56
hours a week. So accounting for taxes
you're making at most 450 dollars a week.
If you get pregnant now, you might have
another 8 months of that. But your doctors
appointments and care (prenatal vitamins,
preparations) will easily cost you 100$ a
month. So now you're down to about 1800$ a
month. You don't have any money saved up.
You're going to need to buy furniture,
diapers, food, clothing, delivery, all the
babies doctors appointments. And guess
what, you don't have enough money to do
that. Your boyfriend will split either the
moment you get the positive test or the
moment you give birth. No 13 year old boy
wants to deal with that crap. You can't
even support yourself with your job,
nevermind another child. You and your
boyfriend can't drive, don't stand a
chance of getting a good paying job,
haven't even finished high school for
christs sake. You're CHILDREN. If you go
through with a pregnancy, that baby will
be snatched up by the government so fast
and put into foster care because you're
not capable of taking care of a child. So
if that's what you really want, go ahead,
but you'll soon find out it's not as easy
as you think it is.
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Amethyst_Butterfly
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Mar 2008 Posts: 567 Location: UT, US
Thanks: 17
Thanked:30
Posted: 04-10-08 16:43pm
Reptar
wrote:
Waking up for her nightmares
is different then waking up every couple
hours to feed or calm them down. Since
you're only 13 and you supposedly stayed
home from school and cleaned the house and
took care of your siblings, I'm going to
assume you at least failed one grade
because when people actually have children
and have to do that all by themselves they
need a lot of time before the kids are
going to school. Since you're 13 and have
probably been working a year at most,
you're at most making a dollar over
minimum wage. So tell me, how is your 9
dollar an hour job going to support a
child? You're in school 8 hours a day,
which means you can work at most 56 hours
a week. So accounting for taxes you're
making at most 450 dollars a week. If you
get pregnant now, you might have another 8
months of that. But your doctors
appointments and care (prenatal vitamins,
preparations) will easily cost you 100$ a
month. So now you're down to about 1800$ a
month. You don't have any money saved up.
You're going to need to buy furniture,
diapers, food, clothing, delivery, all the
babies doctors appointments. And guess
what, you don't have enough money to do
that. Your boyfriend will split either the
moment you get the positive test or the
moment you give birth. No 13 year old boy
wants to deal with that crap. You can't
even support yourself with your job,
nevermind another child. You and your
boyfriend can't drive, don't stand a
chance of getting a good paying job,
haven't even finished high school for
christs sake. You're CHILDREN. If you go
through with a pregnancy, that baby will
be snatched up by the government so fast
and put into foster care because you're
not capable of taking care of a child. So
if that's what you really want, go ahead,
but you'll soon find out it's not as easy
as you think it
is.
Truer words couldn't have been spoken.
Nice.
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kcsgirl_101
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Apr 2008 Posts: 22
Posted: 04-10-08 16:44pm
i understand where all of u are soming
from
and yes i do miss my little brother and
sister.
and i have absolutely no desire to go live
with my step mom and dad again!!!!!!
they weren't the greatest ppl on earth
they did a lot of stuff 2 me that i don't
want 2 hapen again
and i bet a lot of u are right i don't
know exactly how 2 do this stuff
but does ne1 rly?
i mean older mature parents don't know how
when they have thier frist child.
i know online classes won't b easy
i know all this stuff.
i've thought of all of this
and lele25
why do u have a need 2 put me down?
god
i asked 4 help and advice not critisism
and put down
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kcsgirl_101
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Apr 2008 Posts: 22
Posted: 04-10-08 16:49pm
did u guys read what i had 2 do?
i didn't just wake up evey couple hours
and yea i did i failed @ least 1 grade
every yr.
but my teachers knew what was goin and
they saw potential in me so they lifted
me
when they were babies
I had the baby moniter in MY room
not my parents room MINE
so stop tellin me what i did and didn't do
cuz u don't know
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Amethyst_Butterfly
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Mar 2008 Posts: 567 Location: UT, US
Thanks: 17
Thanked:30
Posted: 04-10-08 16:51pm
We aren't trying to put you down, I think
every girl has wanted a baby at one point
in her early teen years, I know I did.
Never acted on them, and I'm happy I
didn't. As for your boyfriend, over course
he's agreeing, hes getting some. He won't
stick around for a baby with you. Not that
young. Believe it or not, Most of the teen
parents on here made many mistakes along
the way. And here we see you who have a
chance no to make that mistake. I'm 19,
and I'm 2 months pregnant. Do I think I'm
ready? no way in hell. Not even close. But
it happened. Will I love the baby?
unconditionally. Its what a mother does.
You love them no mater what. and as
someone who's so dedicated to being
someone's mother you should look at how it
would effect your life in the long run,
and how it would make things harder.
Wouldn't you rather wait till your older
and are married, and are financially
stable before bringing a new life into
this world? Doesn't every baby deserve the
best that can be given to them? That way
you can do everything you felt denied of.
All the mistakes your parents made you be
better then them. Stay in school, not
alternative, its no fun. Graduate high
school. Meet the man of your dreams, get
married, trust me, if you wait, you'll
find being a mom a whole lot more fun and
rewarding.
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kcsgirl_101
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Apr 2008 Posts: 22
Posted: 04-10-08 16:57pm
i know this is going to sound very
childish but he is the man of my dreams
he has always been there 4 me
he's never pressured me into sex
he does love me and thts not y he said
yes
y would sum1 say yes 2 havin a kid just 4
sex?
and he's not like that
i've known him since preschool
i know what he's like
and i know that sum of u aren't trying 2
put me down but sum r
and sum r doin a very good job of it
i've thought of all this stuff
and nothing scares me about it
and the more u guys critisize me the more
ur makin me want 2 do it
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jessamyn
Moderator
Joined: 18 Aug 2004 Posts: 4101 Location: San Diego, CA
Thanks: 11
Thanked:3
Posted: 04-10-08 16:57pm
have you discussed this with your parents?
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kcsgirl_101
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Apr 2008 Posts: 22
Posted: 04-10-08 16:57pm
no but i have w/ his parents
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jessamyn
Moderator
Joined: 18 Aug 2004 Posts: 4101 Location: San Diego, CA
Thanks: 11
Thanked:3
Posted: 04-10-08 16:59pm
try telling your parents flat out... and
come back and lemme know what they say!
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kcsgirl_101
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Apr 2008 Posts: 22
Posted: 04-10-08 17:00pm
o yea tht'll go over well
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Amethyst_Butterfly
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Mar 2008 Posts: 567 Location: UT, US
Thanks: 17
Thanked:30
Posted: 04-10-08 17:01pm
kcsgirl_101
wrote:
and the more u guys critisize me the more
ur makin me want 2 do
it
Exactly why you shouldn't. babies
shouldn't be born out of spite towards
internet forum people. But because they
are loved and wanted. And that comment you
made there is incredibly immature. Babies
are brought into the world to increase the
fullness in ones life, not to give you
someone to love who will love you back.
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kcsgirl_101
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Apr 2008 Posts: 22
Posted: 04-10-08 17:05pm
i know
i told u that it was gonna sound immature
i aint sayin that u guys r makin me do it
ur makin me rebellious and thinkin like a
13 yr. old
and i know that this is proving your point
even more
but still
and that is y
i think that it will fufill my life
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Ingi
Moderator
Joined: 09 Mar 2006 Posts: 8783 Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
Thanks: 161
Thanked:194
Posted: 04-10-08 17:07pm
So what kind of life could you give your
baby? Seriously. Would it be a better life
than you have? Could you provide new
school clothes for yourself and your child
(you'll both be going to school at the
same time)? Do you know how much diapers
cost in the first few years? How much
money do you think is enough money to have
saved for your baby? If your parents kick
you out, where will you go? How will you
pay for rent, food, electricity, daycare,
diapers, formula, wipes, clothes,
furniture, car seats? Are you aware that
online school costs money?
Edited to add: Why wouldn't you want to
continue being a teenager instead of
dooming yourself to what you have been
doing since you were 7? If all you've been
doing is taking care of kids, why not
enjoy some freedom for awhile?
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Amethyst_Butterfly
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Mar 2008 Posts: 567 Location: UT, US
Thanks: 17
Thanked:30
Posted: 04-10-08 17:11pm
btw you may say you know this guy, and
that he wants this, but babies change
people., my boyfriend was so excited about
our baby till I got a positive test, now
he's uncomfortable talking about it. He
won't even feel my baby bump. He's staying
with me through this. But it changed him
once reality hit. Girls don't have a
choice. Me I'm excited sometimes, but its
hard when he isn't as excited anymore. And
maybe he's a great guy now, but a positive
test might be too much for him. Its one
thing to want a baby, its another to
actually be expecting. I know from my own
experience. I was sure I was pregnant, we
both were, yet he was shocked by my
positive test. Guys are weird that way,
some guys love the idea but the realty
just isn't what they wanted. And as young
as you guys are.. it won't work out all
wonderfully. And you never know., You may
not like him a few years from now, I was a
different person at 16 then at 13 and at
19 I'm a completely different person all
together. Trust me the last thing you want
is being stuck with a baby at 13 years
old. Maybe your willing to stick it out
with a baby, but like I said something as
simple as a positive pregnancy test may
change his mind.
