Relationships and Marriage Forum - Is Love this Blind?

This is going to be long. I thought I would give this try. My closest best friend (female) has been in a LTR for almost 4 years. In the beginning things were good between them. Sometime after it started there were problems lying, hiding things, and not on her part. Over the last couple years. I noticed that she seems to drink more than she probably should, and can't seem to go to bed with him, and be fully awake. She has to be drunk!! He does not discourage her from drinking, and actually encourages it even if she doesn't want to drink. He will tell her to keep drinking. I'm afraid she is going to get into some drugs or something, as he does not seem to discourage her from the drinking. So why would he discourage her from that. It's like keeping her down and quiet, with him. While he plays the victim and blames everything on her.

They live together, but she is almost fnished school. She has been severly depressed over the last 3 years (she told me herself) as well as her taking pills even when she does not need them. She fights constantly when she is with her boyfriend, and she has showed me bruises on her body from him. He is very rough with her, and i have witnessed countless times where he has hurt her infront of me, and she gets upset. She had been hurt so many times by his lies and the fact that he cannot change his ways. When I asked him what what he was going to do to change his ways all he could say was that she doesn't deserve it, and could not give her or I any kind of answer of what he is going to do to change his ways. She says he is holding her back, he is destroying her and that the person she is now is not who she wants to be. He has tried to even get me to lie about something and hide it from her, but I am just not that type of person. Once he lies the lie turns into this huge snowball, and he just keeps on lying making it worse and worse, he says thats the way he does things. That he doesn't know why. He is very possessive, jealous and does not like her having any male friends. So she does not go out very often, this also frustrates her. He does not like to introduce her to any males, in fear that one fo them may fall in love with her. This has happened before, but she has always been faithful, and never did anything to risk what they had.

It just seems like he does not have anything to offer her. She has given him over a dozen chances, and takes him back. She has cried to me on the phone so many times over and over. She says she loves him and wants to be wth him. I just can't bare to see her go through this. I'm like an extension of her. It kills me to see this. The person I knew her as before would never take this crap. I'm always there for her, but I do not know what I can tell her or say to her. I want her to know she is worthy of something much better, but she has told me she does not think she could survive without him. I think that is crazy, he treats her like a piece of property, that is his to control. Is there a possibility that because of the drinking, she cannot see what she needs to do to better herself, and become the person she was before she met him. Sounds like she needs to stop drinking so she can see clearly what is going on in front of her. She uses the alcohol as an escape to escape reality and what is going on in her life. This is obviously not getting her anywhere. Is there anyting I can do? Have a talk with her maybe? I mean she has huge aspirations for herself, in life. How is she going to work like this?

p.s The drinking is more of a weekend thing, when she is down from school, and things like that. I just do not want her to start relying on it to deal with things in her life, which seems like what she is doing already