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Lost battle with alcoholism

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supporter11

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007
Posts: 3
Lost battle with alcoholism
Posted: 03-30-08 15:29pm

I posted along time ago about a man I was supporting in his recovery. He did 21 days in house re-hab and at the time I didn't think that seemed very long and he had done other out patient rehab as well. Anyway I visited him and supported him before and after. We were good friends and a lot in common and I really did love him and was in love with him. After he got out of re-hab he came to see me and I went to see him a few times. He was still seeing his friend from out of state he called a platonic relationship. I broke off all contact with him because I just couldn't deal with the other woman. I got a call yesterday with the message that my friend is in hospice care dying from liver failure. He went from healthy to dying in less than 9 months so he had to have started drinking shortly after he got out. The other female friend had a very active social life and got ticked when he got drunk so I am not sure how he continued to see her and get so bad unless he just drank when he wasn't there but then he would have gotten the DT's or something. His system was totally poisoned by the time he got to the hospital 2 weeks ago. He has only on child who is with him and the "girl" friend showed up as well. I was offered by 2 friends to drive to see him. It is an hour away but I already said my good byes and it is his time to be with his child in the few hours or days he has left. NOw I have to deal with the what if and if only's. I feel I did everything I could for him and the battle was just to great for him to fight. His rock bottom is now, at death's door.
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lonestarguy

Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007
Posts: 585
Location: , Hoosierland, USA
Thanks: 9
Thanked:1

Posted: 03-30-08 16:39pm

How sad to see that happen to someone you love. The biggest what-if has got to be: "What if he had stayed with me instead of trying to hookup with the other woman, would he be dying now?"

You're right, if you've said goodbye, then he should see his son in the time he has left. I don't see that a visit would be bad, especially if you could show him he's not alone, but I understand if you don't want to see the other woman.

It's a tragedy for someone to die over alcohol, but only addicts know how hard it is to quit and stay sober.
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supporter11

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007
Posts: 3
My friend lost his battle with alcoholism
Posted: 03-30-08 18:25pm

My friend died this afternoon, 9 months after I last saw him after he got out of rehab.
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lonestarguy

Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007
Posts: 585
Location: , Hoosierland, USA
Thanks: 9
Thanked:1
Re: My friend lost his battle with alcoholism
Posted: 03-30-08 19:07pm

supporter11 wrote:
My friend died this afternoon, 9 months after I last saw him after he got out of rehab.


Sorry to hear that. So sad when someone dies needlessly.

My thoughts are with you.
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coliejo

Supporter
Joined: 19 Mar 2008
Posts: 557
Location: East Lansing, MI
Thanks: 32
Thanked:30

Posted: 03-31-08 19:22pm

I am so sorry to hear that, when I was 16, my dad's best friend and roommate died of cirrosis of the liver and hepatitis from alcoholism. It was one of the hardest things I have ever gone through. I basically lived with him while he killed himself and we tried to help but it was too late for him by that time too.

I know what you are going through and if you ned to talk about anything please PM me. I am so sorry to hear about your friend.
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marvin5

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Mar 2008
Posts: 18
Location: ,
your friend
Posted: 03-31-08 23:42pm

a good friend of mine lost her boyfriend when he was only about 38 to this. I actually have a total of 3 friends who lost their mates. The oldest who died was last year and he was 54. Two left children behind that are always going to be affected in one way or another out of a loss like this.

They and only they can help themselves and he may not have been drinking but the damage could have still been done because of so many years of the abuse to his system.

I am sorry for your loss. This is not easy, but know that you are not at all to blame. God Bless.
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