Based upon my Subject title, I AM NOT
POINTING THE FINGER AT ANYONE because I
control my own actions. But, I just had a
question & I was pondering YOUR opinion.
I am 17 years old. I am a pretty good
child. I've never done anything to label
me 'bad'. But, my mother (whom i live
with) had always been very strict & has
sheltered me all of my life. I never
really go anywhere..I just go to school,
go to work, then come home. I have a
bedtime. I cannot talk on my cell phone
past 10:30. I had to get a cell phone to
talk to whoever I wanted because my mother
allows no males to call my home. I am not
allowed to go on a date & I am not allowed
to have a boyfriend. I basically cannot
have any communication with the opposite
sex. One time, a male friend of mines
called MY CELL PHONE while she was around
& when I got off the phone she began
saying how I was rude & I know she doesn't
like me chatting to guys. IT'S A LOT MORE
TO TYPE ABOUT HER, but I'll just leave it
with saying she is really strict.
So, after a while I got really tired of
just sitting around, not having a social
life. So, I met this guy I worked with. He
was amazing! He's a greatt guy. We re
currently together & we've been together
for almost two years now So, I have been
sneaking around to see him because I
wasn't allowed to date or even talk to
him.
So, earlier this year, I found out I was
pregnant. I had to break the news to my
parents. It was not good. My mother made
me abort the pregnancy & forbid me to
speak to him again.
My question is: Do you somewhat believe
that my mother's strict ways played a role
in this situation?
I'm only asking because some family
members have stated that theory & I was
pondering about what you assumed...
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Amethyst_Butterfly
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Mar 2008 Posts: 642 Location: UT, US
Thanks: 18
Thanked:58
Posted: 04-07-08 20:10pm
omg.....and your 17. wow. thats... in my
opinion wrong. thats very wrong, she
should not of been able to force you. I
feel like my baby was created inside me
and is going to stay there till its ready
to come out. wow just wow.
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krystineM
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Oct 2007 Posts: 1355 Location: mississauga, ontario Canada
Thanks: 30
Thanked:15
Posted: 04-07-08 21:58pm
you are the one who decided to have the
abortion or not.
your parent cannot control that, because
the minute you turn 16, you are able to
leave home and make your own decisions. A
cop told me that.
Your mother would have to live with your
decision, and either accept it or get over
herself.
I think, and this is just a theory of mine
now from what i have read...
That since your mother is so strict, you
in a way felt forced to accept her
reaction of saying 'you are getting an
abortion' rather than step up and say no.
Your mom sounds alot like mine, however i
challenged alot of what she told me, and
we but heads here and there, and then she
kicked me out, then wanted me back home,
then i had enough of her games and s--t,
and left myself. And now, stepping back to
observe her, i can see just how crazy she
is.
Sometimes, yeah parents are right, but
this is your life, these are choices you
get to make on your own. Not a parent.
Myself being pregnant at 18, my mom still
is getting used to it, but acts childish.
Saying things like she wont be there for
the birth or other events that include my
baby and i. But instead of feeding into
her behaviour, i just say fine. thats your
problem not mine.
Your mother has to accept that you are
growing up, are going to be having a
boyfriend, and maybe next time have
protected sex, and you get to make the
choices in your life.
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Mabel
Supporter
Joined: 09 Mar 2006 Posts: 8954 Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
Thanks: 179
Thanked:198
Re: mom forced abortion Posted: 04-08-08 10:22am
iams0prep
wrote:
So, earlier this year, I found out I was
pregnant. I had to break the news to my
parents. It was not good. My mother made
me abort the pregnancy & forbid me to
speak to him again.
My question is: Do you somewhat believe
that my mother's strict ways played a role
in this situation?
How did your mom make you abort the
pregnancy? Did she go with you to the
pre-abortion counseling or did you go
alone? Did she sign the papers that stated
you understood what you were doing or did
you? Who paid for the procedure? Did she
drug you and take you in herself?
How did you see this guy before if she
didn't really allow you to see boys?
Couldn't you just do that sneaking around
again?
I think your own behavior played a roll in
your getting pregnant. Having unprotected
sex leads to pregnancy. Your mom wasn't
there when you had sex - I think that was
what she was trying to protect you from
(from the way it sounds).
|
iams0prep
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Mar 2008 Posts: 5
Re: mom forced abortion Posted: 04-10-08 16:09pm
Ingi
wrote:
iams0prep
wrote:
So, earlier this year, I found out I was
pregnant. I had to break the news to my
parents. It was not good. My mother made
me abort the pregnancy & forbid me to
speak to him again.
My question is: Do you somewhat believe
that my mother's strict ways played a role
in this situation?
How did your mom make you abort the
pregnancy? Did she go with you to the
pre-abortion counseling or did you go
alone? Did she sign the papers that stated
you understood what you were doing or did
you? Who paid for the procedure? Did she
drug you and take you in herself?
How did you see this guy before if she
didn't really allow you to see boys?
Couldn't you just do that sneaking around
again?
I think your own behavior played a roll in
your getting pregnant. Having unprotected
sex leads to pregnancy. Your mom wasn't
there when you had sex - I think that was
what she was trying to protect you from
(from the way it
sounds).
I wasn't forced to get the abortion with a
gun to my head. But, I didn't want to do
it. Like the previous response, being
that my mother is so strict & she
usually makes all of my decisions, I felt
as if I couldn't object to her. & now,
after everything has happened, I know that
she doesn't always know the correct
decision to make.
I saw my boyfriend before by getting my
cousin to take me or lying to my dad about
whom I was meeting & I got him to take
me. The thing is, all of the sneaking
around isn't who I am. I am generally an
honest person. I hate lying. I want to be
open & honest with my parents. So, I
try not to sneak around. But now since I
have my own car, I think I may have to lie
because it's the only way I'll be able to
see him until I'm eighteen years of age.
Well, I never blamed my mom personally. I
was asking a general question due to the
responses from other people in my life. I
am aware of the fact that I had
unprotected sex & put myself at risk
for pregnancy..which happened. I DID THAT.
But, I wasn't asking you that.
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krystineM
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Oct 2007 Posts: 1355 Location: mississauga, ontario Canada
Thanks: 30
Thanked:15
Posted: 04-10-08 17:56pm
"My question is: Do you somewhat believe
that my mother's strict ways played a role
in this situation?
I'm only asking because some family
members have stated that theory & I
was pondering about what you assumed... "
Which was exactaly my response, however,
it wasnt that she was so strict, you were
afraid to go against her wishes. Which
lead up to the abortion.
But..which makes me confused is where you
say, i want to be open and honest with my
parents. So, i try to sneak around.
Why dont you get over your fear of your
mother, because thats what your afraid of
your mother. Tell her your dating, have
been with this guy for almost 2 years, and
you dont want sneak around any more. Your
the only one who can be open and honest.
Your 17, you are legal to make your own
decisions, and chose who you see. Your
parents cant control that anymore. They
have to live with it. But they deserve to
know where you are and who your with.
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softerxsin
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Jan 2008 Posts: 133 Location: ,
Posted: 04-10-08 20:55pm
i know what you are going through ive been
through it myself.. i never mentioned it
before in this forum because i dont like
to talk about it. but i always thought my
mom forced me to get an abortion but she
didnt now that i think about it.. it was
me. yeah my mom wasnt happy because i was
16. but now im pregnant again (im 18 now)
and she is as happy as can be. BUT, she
wasnt happy at first. i just ignored her
and she accepted it.
but, i honestly think your moms strict
ways didnt play a role i think you were
scared. because, no matter how much your
mom threatens you by saying "your out of
my house" (im not saying she said that its
just an example) she will always love you
and trust me she wouldve loved that baby.
but sense you are used to her being that
way you were scared because you didnt know
how the situation was going to turn out.
now, if you wanted this baby so bad you
wouldve ignored her and kept it. so no i
dont think it has to do with your mom its
you. (im not trying to sound mean so dont
take it that way) but in the back of your
head you probably thought it was the best
thing for you. which maybe it was. but
dont worry you arnt being judged in
anyway! i know im not judging you!
So, I have been
sneaking around to see him because I
wasn't allowed to date or even talk to
him.
