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krystineM
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Oct 2007 Posts: 1355 Location: mississauga, ontario Canada
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Mom relationship & teen pregnancy
Posted: 03-08-08 00:20am
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so i had another movie and dinner night
with my mom,
and this one did not turn out well AT ALL.
everything seemed to be going fine, we
chatted the whole way to the movie theatre
and were laughing and what not.
Then after the movies we went to have
dinner, and thats when everything went
down hill...
We were talking here and there, and i told
her about when i heard the baby's heart
beat, and when my next appointments were;
she's hasn't accepted this pregnancy of
mine fully yet, which i understand, but i
still like to ahare things ive been going
through and visits to my Dr's with her too
to keep her updated, and maybe that way
she would accept it little by little along
the way.
Then, she started a conversation with:
'im having a really hard time with this
and finding it really hard to accept this,
and i cant seem to shake it'
and i said, i understand, i know you still
need time.
then she said 'i guuess what im finding
really hard is that i cant do the things i
imagined doing with you, like being there
when the baby's born, being there at the
baptism or shopping with you for the
baby...'
and i was like woah..your not gonna be
there when my baby-your grandchild is
born? and your not going to want to be at
the baptism either??
she was like, i dont want to be around
George[bf/fiance] and his family.
That's her reason for not wanting to be
apart of this.
she also said how i did not even invite
her to a DR's appointment, and to be
honest, seeing as how she didnt really
like my situation on keeping this baby,
and how she does not even show an intrest
or the slightest bit of concern/intrest
when i talk about the baby and
appointments, i never thought she would
want to come to an appointment.
I was upset and stopped eating, and didnt
say much after,
then we got into an argument and we got
ready to leave and i called George to pick
me up.
And as i left i said since your not
wanting to be apart of the birth i wont
call when i go into labour... and she was
like you think i wanted this? you took
this away from me this is your fault!
This isnt my fault, im doing what i feel
is right in my heart, she's the one whos
stopping herself from doing all these
things, im not saying she cant be apart of
this...
you kno...i knew she was not going to be
pleased when hearing im pregnant, but i
never thought she would say she wouldnt be
there for the birth or baptism...cuz i
want her to be there, but it doesnt matter
what i say.
All i know is that this is not my fault
for her reason as to why she doesnt want
to be apart of this, thats her fault and
problem...
all i want to do is just curl up in a ball
and cry...
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benc152
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Aug 2007 Posts: 225 Location: , Australia
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Posted: 03-08-08 02:12am
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when it gets closer to the time i'm sure
she'll decide to come.
i can't imagine somebody missing that =\
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Verizon-y
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Aug 2007 Posts: 3291
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Posted: 03-08-08 03:30am
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What is her problem? What is the deal
with her and George? How can she blame
George for her not being at these
important events?
I'm so sorry you had to go through that
rejection from your own mother. She needs
a good slap.
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jessamyn
Moderator
Joined: 18 Aug 2004 Posts: 4107 Location: San Diego, CA
Thanks: 11
Thanked:3
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Posted: 03-08-08 03:34am
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Al I can say is hopefully she will come
around... give it time and focus on you!
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krystineM
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Oct 2007 Posts: 1355 Location: mississauga, ontario Canada
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Posted: 03-08-08 11:02am
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thats what my bf said too, we're not
telling her she cant be here for these
beautiful and wonderful things, shes
choosing not to be there. which is her
fault and problem.
just cuz im pregnant at 18 shouldnt make
it all my fault for lack of intrest or
wanting to be there when my baby is born.
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Verizon-y
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Aug 2007 Posts: 3291
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Posted: 03-08-08 12:25pm
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| krystineM
wrote: | thats what my bf said too,
we're not telling her she cant be here for
these beautiful and wonderful things, shes
choosing not to be there. which is her
fault and problem.
just cuz im pregnant at 18 shouldnt make
it all my fault for lack of intrest or
wanting to be there when my baby is
born. |
SHE KICKED YOU OUT! She only has herself
to blame if she is what she is angry about
is that you are pregnant and unmarried and
18.
Is that what she's angry about, though?
Because in your original post you didn't
mention that at all. You only said she
was mad at George. What else did she say
that makes you think she's angry about you
being pregnant at your age?
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krystineM
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Oct 2007 Posts: 1355 Location: mississauga, ontario Canada
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Posted: 03-08-08 18:50pm
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i didnt say she's shes angry,
but not accepted it or adjusted, which is
understandable, shes disappointed right
now with the situation.
She doesnt want to be there for any of
these things [birth, baptism etc.] cuz she
does not like George's family.
We've both accepted the fact that i am no
longer living at home.
Her kicking me out and me not living at
home has nothing to do with the reason as
to why shes mad or unaccepting
What she's not accepted fully yet is that
im having a baby, at 18.
And she does not like George's
parents/family, which is why she doesnt
want to be around for anything.
Which is not my fault. She's the one whos
choosing not to be apart of this.
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Mints_MeatPie
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Dec 2005 Posts: 27 Location: Here
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Posted: 03-09-08 05:54am
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I say give her some more time for it to
completely sink in. Having said that, it
is not your fault. It's her choice not to
attend the birth and baptism. She had/has
the option to tolerate your
boyfriend/fiance, at least, if she wants
to be part of this, but she hasn't taken
it, yet.
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krystineM
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Oct 2007 Posts: 1355 Location: mississauga, ontario Canada
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Posted: 03-09-08 11:18am
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yeah, i even called my dad last night and
told him what happened, but had said to
him dad i really want you and
marilyn[step-mom] to be there for the
birth and baptism and other things cuz it
would really mean alot to me, and this
baby is as much a part of your life as it
is mine.
and he also said just give it some time
she might come around.
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Verizon-y
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Aug 2007 Posts: 3291
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Posted: 03-09-08 18:11pm
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Good. Your dad is reasonable. What is
there not to like about George's family?
They seem like nice people.
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Ingi
Moderator
Joined: 09 Mar 2006 Posts: 8924 Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
Thanks: 174
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Posted: 03-09-08 18:14pm
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Your BF's name is George and his nephew?
Guess we know you won't be naming your
baby George if its a boy, huh?
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krystineM
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Oct 2007 Posts: 1355 Location: mississauga, ontario Canada
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Posted: 03-09-08 19:11pm
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lol its a tradition in greek families to
name the first son after the grandfather,
so you can imagine how many George's are
in our family
to give you a taste, we have Big George,
Little George[my bf/fiance] and Baby
George our nephew and theres a lot more
too lol
And then also to name the first girl after
the grandmother, but George isnt too much
into tradition, so we might just stick to
a Greek name instead lol
His family are such nice people, i really
cant understand why my mom has something
against them...but then againmy mom holds
onto grudges like she does to how many
shoes she has.
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Verizon-y
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Aug 2007 Posts: 3291
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Posted: 03-09-08 19:50pm
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But a grudge usually means there was an
argument somewhere along the way.
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krystineM
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Oct 2007 Posts: 1355 Location: mississauga, ontario Canada
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Posted: 03-09-08 22:40pm
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if you knew my mother, youd understand.
she can just think of a reason to be mad
and hold on to it for a long time.
the only argument i can think of, is when
she kicked me out. but that was resolved
and we've come to an understanding that i
live here now and thats that.
Sometimes people hold on to things like
that cuz they know they were wrong some
where along the line, but dont want to
admitt it. Which could be the case in this
situation with my mom. And now shes
blaming me for things i could and should
have done in her eyes.
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Verizon-y
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Aug 2007 Posts: 3291
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Posted: 03-09-08 23:16pm
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Gotcha. You're right, people do that all
of the time.
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krystineM
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Oct 2007 Posts: 1355 Location: mississauga, ontario Canada
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Posted: 03-09-08 23:27pm
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after like...years of her doing the same
thing, it really gets annoying..
but hurts now cuz after all i am doing
what i feel is right in my heart, and with
what she says, like not wanting to be
apart of all this, it makes me wonder
sometimes.
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Verizon-y
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Aug 2007 Posts: 3291
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Posted: 03-10-08 00:03am
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Don't get mad, but your mom sounds a
little bit immature and selfish. She
doesn't exhibit the unconditional love
that one would expect from a parent.
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krystineM
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Oct 2007 Posts: 1355 Location: mississauga, ontario Canada
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Posted: 03-10-08 07:34am
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it really seems more like a love/hate
relationship.
like she'll love me one minute and be
super nice and we can joke around, but
then she snaps out of no where...she is a
real two faced person.
And even now, with the responses and
things she says...i mean i know she needs
time still to accept this, but with what
she says, she is making this whole
situation harder on me than it has to
be..you kno?
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Reptar
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Oct 2007 Posts: 389
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Posted: 03-23-08 23:06pm
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Congrats on not being pregnant.
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