8 months... still heartbroken and confused Posted: 09-24-08 20:17pm
So... I just got off the phone with my ex,
I'm not too sure why I called him. It's
been a while since we had proper
communication and I think I just wanted to
know we can still talk to each other.
We were together two years and I thought
everything was great, well except his
anger issues, but I thought that's just
the way he was and it would always turn
out fine. Back in January, it was my
birthday, we were getting ready to go out
to dinner and all of a sudden he started
crying and said "I can't do this anymore,
it's not you, I just can't deal with it"
From what I gathered he was probably
suffering depression, which soon turned
into alcholism, every day since he has
drank until he passed out (I'm close with
his friends, so I know these things) Since
we split, he's still confided in me, even
tonight, about things I know he wouldn't
talk about with most people.
Recently he has started dating someone who
I thought was my friend, and what hurts me
the most is that I thought he didn't want
a relationship. She's not a very
attractive girl, whereas I get chatted up
by strangers on a daily basis. And
mentally we connected very well, we were
an absolutely inseparable couple.. So I'm
not sure why he's with her and not me?!
I'm also with someone else, early days
though. And when I mentioned this tonight
he sounded a bit "put out" by it. I'm not
happy with my new man, and am still
struggling with a bit of an eating
disorder, while he's still struggling with
his drinking. I hear he's not happy with
his new girl because he's friends say he's
still very much into me, and that is why
they fight a lot.
Since we broke up we've spoken about still
loving each other, and we've slept
together twice (once just before he got
with my friend), he's still always been
there when I've needed him, and came to
see me straight away if ever I've asked
him to. We always spoke about getting
married and having a life together, and it
always feels like there's a lot left
unsaid between us..
I'm just unsure of what to do...
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biodrux
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Nov 2008 Posts: 33 Location: Los Angeles, US
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Britney Posted: 11-05-08 18:53pm
First of all... what strikes me is your
observativeness. You have a gift of
objectiveness. You noticed that this OTHER
girl is not as attractive as you are BUT
your x is with her and not with you...
May seem like an obvious thing to you...
but thats ONLY because you have a gift of
being objective.
This generally means only one thing. You
noticed that your X "cried and suffered
from depression."
Its obvious where his priorities are. Men
who are healthy generally go for women who
are more attractive. Its evolutionary. The
more attractive your children are... the
less you have to worry about SUPPORTING
THEIR ASSES after they grow up.
The fact that your man went for a FRIEND
of yours who is LESS attractive than you
are shows that
3. He is emotionally not highly evolved.
2. He is emotionally an egomaniacal child.
He'd rather feel better NOW... at the
expense of the feelings of YOU - SOMEONE
WHO LOVES HIM.
1. The fact that you can maintain atleast
a little of your "objectivity" shows that
you were smart enough NOT to get
COMPLETELY "subjective" to him.
MOVE ON. Find someone who cherishes your
feelings and excercises emotional
integrity. You weren't as into him as you
may think. (What you think to be the pain
of separation may really just be the pain
from the sense of betrayal of the TWO
people in your life that you love)
x