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spongebob23

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mother making depression worse
Posted: 06-07-08 07:09am

I Was Recently diagnosed with depression and i am on medication and i have history of self harm and attempting suicide and most time i like to sit myself and think about things.

Until i made the mistake of telling my mum and now shes went all weird not letting me do things alone and making me tag about with her and even after my work she wants to know my every move i feel shes making me worse as i cant deal with it..

can anyone help me?

Thanks
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harmony1

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She loves you... : )
Posted: 06-07-08 20:36pm

Look at it from her point of view. You're her child and she loves you....
She wants to be there for you. i think it's a good thing that she cares about you so much and wants to be there for you. I'd be the same with my son. I think a little down the track once you're well again she may lay off a bit.

Harmony1 xo : )
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spongebob23

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Posted: 06-08-08 13:05pm

Thanks for all your help

But i think i need my own space because if it was her i would give her own space and some days i think id rather go through this myself and deal with it better and hopefully she'll lay off because i cant deal with this Sad
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harmony1

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Posted: 06-08-08 20:17pm

Have you talked to her about this? If your mum doesn't listen to you then maybe you could have a chat to your doctor/psychiatrist and see what they say. then maybe get her to come along to an appointment with you and they could try talking to her about it.

It's nice to have some support from the people you love when you're going through a rough time but i can understand that some parents may go a little over the top with it. I think you're doctor could really help you with this situation. You're mum is really scared... She loves you and wants to protect you...

Hope you had a good day at work. : )
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birdum9

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Posted: 06-08-08 21:47pm

My dad and I both my a history of serious depression. Lately I've been going through a particularly bad period, and I've been talking to him quite a bit. Because he knows where I am, and knows that I talk to him regularly, as a parent he doesn't feel the need to be constantly checking in on me.

I think perhaps if you talk to you mom, and communicate to her on whatever level you can, depending on how close you two are, you might be able to find a compromise. If she knows she's making things worse, then she might be inclined to find a way to work with you. At least it's good to know she's concerned, and is a person who loves you and wants to help you.
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harmony1

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Posted: 06-14-08 03:52am

Smile
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mominashoe

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Posted: 06-14-08 12:57pm

birdum9 wrote:
My dad and I both my a history of serious depression. Lately I've been going through a particularly bad period, and I've been talking to him quite a bit. Because he knows where I am, and knows that I talk to him regularly, as a parent he doesn't feel the need to be constantly checking in on me.

I think perhaps if you talk to you mom, and communicate to her on whatever level you can, depending on how close you two are, you might be able to find a compromise. If she knows she's making things worse, then she might be inclined to find a way to work with you. At least it's good to know she's concerned, and is a person who loves you and wants to help you.


This is very good advice.

To the OP:

It is really understandable that your mother is concerned. Moms sometimes over worry and care too much for a child to handle. They hover and don't realize the mistake they are making. Just open up to your mom about how you are feeling. This will also help you with your depression. Talking about things openly is one of the first big and hard steps to overcome. If you need space, I'm sure she will give it to you, but you will also have to earn the trust.
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CarolDiane

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Posted: 06-21-08 09:01am

First of all, your mother loves you and wants you around for a long time. No one but a mother knows that feeling. Believe me, I am a pro at it.
But, what you have got to realize is that she is seeming overly spy crazy because she does love you.

Now, let's get to the issues at hand. You must learn how to release that anger or hate in other ways then cutting. If it is a person that is triggering this, then you have to go to this person and tell them how thier action are affecting your life and you can choose to be friends or not. Personally, if they are causing you this much greaf, I say get rid of them. Peer pressure is another thing. You are your own person. You DON'T have to do something because the rest of the gang does it and you feel you will be a laughing stock. Find other way to let out you anger. Go outside and yell in the a solitude area or something. Cutting is a very serious thing and can lead to much more as you know have thoughts of suicide. And by doing so, who are you hurting. The ones that love you and are left behind to greave. Is that what you want, to teach them all a lesson? That does not work. You will be gone and everyone other then your family will forget you ever exsisted.
Now, for depression. I think if you would seek help for this, it may very well help with you cutting also. You have got to get some help and soon. Just remember as the other posters have said. Your mother loves you. And enough to want you to be around for a very long time. Do you love your mother? Then why would you hurt her so.

Carrie
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marvel

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Posted: 06-22-08 21:08pm

Hi, spongebob. I used to self-injure and I had very severe depression about three years ago.

I think your mom is genuinely concerned about you. It's a very hard thing for others to deal with... it wasn't until after I had worked through my issues with self injury and depression that I realised how heavy a toll my self injury and depression had also taken on my loved ones. It wasn't just me that was going through it.

Having said this, I know where you're coming from. Sometimes it is better to sit by yourself. It's probably the most comfortable place to be, isn't it? It seems sometimes that people are mettling when they won't let you be by yourself. Believe me when I say this: Depression tricks you. It makes you think that certain things are true when they aren't or that certain things are happening when they really aren't or that certain people are doing things out of selfishness and not because they really want to help you. It's such a hard position to be in, and I know what that feels like. I would try talking to your mother straighforwardly about it, just to see what her mindset it. Knowing that might help you.

Also, in addition to your medication, have you tried talking to someone... perhaps a therapist about how you are feeling? Getting it all out in the open with someone who knows how to piece it together can be very beneficial. Give it some thought if you haven't yet.

Feel free to PM me whenever you need to. I'll be around!
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spongebob23

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Posted: 06-23-08 05:18am

Thanks everyone for yor posts

Pm me anytime
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v00d00cita

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Posted: 06-23-08 14:38pm

Has she gone to the doctor with you? That can make her understand your situation.
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spongebob23

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Posted: 06-25-08 12:27pm

No and i dnt thnk i could ask her to go she isnt the straight forward mum
She makes things worse in my opinion Sad
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v00d00cita

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Posted: 06-25-08 13:46pm

Hmm, perhaps you should try telling her, showing her documentaries or so. Smile
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cassandra2

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hello
Posted: 06-28-08 09:38am

Hello,
I understand that you don't enjoy your mother being overprotective but she is doing it in a good way. She only wants you to be safe and wants the best for you and that's why she is doing that. She is not intentionally doing it to be annoying or anything I'm sure. She is doing it because she doesn't want to lose her daughter because of her not paying enough attention to what's going on. It's a good thing that you did tell her because when you are feeling like that you need someone to talk to and tell. If you need someone to talk to your mother would be a good one to talk to. So you did the right thing. Let me know how you are doing!
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