im 24 and didnt grew up with my dad... he
left us for another woman, and they are
still together.
he didn't support us even financially for
years that made our life really difficult,
but we were able to survive that.
i have forgiven my dad a long time ago, i
studied well and was able to finish
college without failing any subjects. he
did support me financially during my
college years.
recently, i took up some examination in
thier state and i stayed in his place for
a month (he wants me to stay there, the
first time that i will be living with my
dad). i'm uncomfortable. all those times
all i wanted is to go back home.
everything went back to my senses, all
those years of pain because he left us
plus the fact that im living with his wife
that took everything from us. the hate i
thought that was long gone started to
blaze up.
i passed the exam, and told him that my bf
is coming to fetch me and that i am
leaving, because we just agreed that i
will stay there for the examination. he
agreed but when my bf arrived, he wanted
me to stay for some victory party, (but
that party is actually his son's birthday
party, he just included my "celebration")
despite that, my bf and i still left as we
planned. (i don't know if he just dont
like my bf)
my dad thought i did it on purpose... that
i want revenge and to make him feel really
bad. but i didnt do it on purpose, i just
wanted to go...i dont feel at home in his
place.
he started to tell everyone in the family
that i have caused him pain and that i
chose my bf instead of him. (but that's
what he exactly did to us, he left and
made a choice. now im making mine)
i have no intentions of hurting him or
something, i just want to be independent
and decide on my own, im 24, but he keeps
on saying he want to catch up with the
time, and spend time with me, but i think
it is too late...
my dad is not talking to me now, what will
i do? i love my dad despite what he did to
us. but it just kills me that he cant
understand me now.
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Hart74
Supporter
Joined: 06 Apr 2007 Posts: 533 Location: Woodlands (not like there are woods anywhere near) Garden City ,
Thanks: 9
Thanked:7
Posted: 03-07-08 06:44am
At least your dad is still talking to you
after he left you but my dad didn't talked
to me at all my mom is the middle person
anything that we needs to convey we do it
through her, my parents gave me up to my
grandad when I was 3 days old and I am the
first born giving the reason that I creid
a lot.
Physiotherapist, let your dad cool down
first give him 'space' maybe he is still
angry about the whole situation, I'll do
the same as you did, not to say what you
did was either right or wrong however do
what you think you need, want and must do.
Follow your heart but listen to your
'mind' balance what you think is negative
and positive. The part where he blamed you
and said that you're doing it to spite
him, he is only saying what what he thinks
(he might not know you that well - in my
opinion). Meantime just do your normal
routine and try to keep in touch with him
anyway everyone makes mistakes, it's part
and parcel of life. I you think that what
he did was wrong try not to say it's wrong
but 'educate' him in a way by showing to
him that you're not like him and prove to
him that you're not spiteful. Good luck,
pm me if you need to talk.
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PrettyPT
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Feb 2008 Posts: 79 Location: , USA
Posted: 03-07-08 10:00am
thanks a lot!!! actually i don't think
someone would even bother to read this,
but you did, thanks a lot! i just wanted
to let it out... thank you...
i know im wrong in a way, because no
matter what happens he is still my dad.
but there are things that really hurts and
i just hope that he could understand that
in a way i also have the right to feel.
im sorry about your story too, but i
believe that everything happens for a
reason.
