My marriage needs help

This is my first time posting. My husband has been verbally abusing me for awhile, and I don't know what to do. I am very religious, and I don't believe in getting a divorce, but I don't know how to save this marriage either. He is constantly criticizing me on everything. He complains about the way I look and dress. He complains about my cooking and housekeeping even though I keep the house spotless and I think my cooking is very good. I work 40+ hours a week, and I am expected to do everything around the house, and wait on him while he sits and watches TV. If I don't do what he tells me, he will yell and complain at me for days after that, so I just do what he says. Trust me, he wasn't this way before I married him, so I had no idea he would be this way. Even though I work 40 hours away from home, he complains that I should get another job so he can buy himself more things.
Tonight was a really bad night. I have to manage the money in the family because he doesn't want the responsibility, and every payday a large sum has to go to him because he wants his "play money". He gets a huge amount of money to spend on fun stuff for himself. He has said that if he doesn't get this huge amount of money each week, he will throw me out of the house, and I don't earn enough money to live on my own, so I give in to his demands. It's hard for me to budget the money after I give him so much, but I just have learned to be quite frugal. Some weeks it's hard to afford groceries, but I manage (even though I get yelled at if I don't remember to buy all his favorite snacks). Anyway, I gave him his money yesterday. He was in bed, and I set the money on the nightstand next to him. He woke up, and I said, "Here is your money for the week." He said "OK." Today he comes to me and demands his money for the week. I said I gave it to him. He says he remembers me putting it on the nightstand, but he said he doesn't remember taking it, so I owe him money. Obviously he lost the money (he loses a lot of things, and I am always being blamed for his carelessness). He demands more money. I tell him I don't have any more to give him. Then he accuses me of stealing it. He starts screaming at me again. As he's screaming at me, he opens the medicine chest and asks me where the cold medicine is that he told me to buy. I show him where it is. He screams that it's not the right kind of medicine. Now he is screaming at me for two things. And while he's screaming at me for two things, he notices that I accidentally left the light on in the laundry room. So he starts screaming at me for three things. By this time, I am sobbing uncontrollably. I swear, he going to drive me insane. I can't take the yelling and criticizing any longer.
I also suffer from anxiety disorder really bad, and this is bringing on so many panic attacks. I can't live with this anymore. I know this sounds awful, but sometimes I pray to God that I die so I don't have to deal with it anymore. And even worse, sometimes I secretly hope my husband will die so I can have some peace in my life. I just don't want to get a divorce. It's just wrong to me, but I don't know what else to do.
Luckily we don't have any children. I originally wanted children, but since he treats me this way, I don't think I could deal with a child. I know my husband would not help out with taking care of a child, and I am afraid my children would pick up on my husband's abusive behavior and turn out just like him.
The abuse isn't the only problem. My husband is addicted to porn, and comes home late from work alot. Sometimes, he doesn't come home until late in the night, and he says he was out with "his buddies at the bar". Sometimes he tells me in advance that he is going out with his friends, and I ask him what bar he will be at, but he refuses to tell me.
I just need some advice, I don't know what to do. Please help.