Joined: 26 Jun 2007 Posts: 136 Location: wellington, New zealand
my partner left me while i was pregnant Posted: 05-17-08 03:01am
Recently my partner of 14 months left me.
I was 34 weeks pregnant at the time, and i
ended up in hospital in labour, which the
drs managed to stop. Throughout the
relationship, he had told me he wouldnt
leave, that i would have to tell him
theres the door, go. I was devastated when
he left- i really care about this guy. He
said he didnt love me, that he didnt want
me hoping for something that would never
happen, and then he walked out the door.
Our relationship was what i guess you
would class as open- we were allowed to
sleep with whoever we wanted, just no
trade ins and dont bring anything back.
Well, he was flirting with one chick- a
friend of ours- quite a bit, and they got
a little too close emotionally. I was
talking to him tonight, and he said that
he didnt leave me for her, but that yes he
did have feelings for her and that yes
they would have been together by now if it
werent for me. He has since been pushing
me to get with someone i dont want to be
with- i cant just move on from him,
especially when i am carrying his child.
In my opinion this is just to make it ok
for him to be with her, and i dont want
that- i dont want him back, but i dont
want anyone else to have him either, and i
know she has feelings for him, they are as
good as dating as it is. How do i get over
him? i just want to move on but i find i
spend most of my time crying, and i am
scared of being a parent on my own. I just
want to be happy again, but all i can
think of is him and her together, does she
sleep on my side of the bed? does she make
his coffee the way he likes it-milk first?
does he look at her the way he used to
look at me? does he call her bub the wayhe
did me? how do i move on and stop thinking
about him and her?
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Rosie H
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jun 2007 Posts: 1160 Location: Phoenix, AZ, USA
Thanks: 18
Thanked:9
Posted: 05-19-08 12:11pm
Sorry you are going through all of this. I
really wish loving someone wasnt so hard
sometimes. The best thing you can do is
try to relax and keep your self busy. Try
not to stress and cry too much for the
babies sake...easier said than done.
Instead try to vent your hurt and anger in
other ways.
Like excersise such as walking or yoga.
Maybe even try some meditation focusing on
healing your heart. You can sign up for a
yoga class at your local gym or something.
But with the baby coming so soon I can
understand how hard that could be.
Get rid of all the things that remind you
of him. You dont have to throw it away but
tuck it somewhere where you cannot see it
and start remembering all the good times.
Try not to speak to him. Each time you
start wanting him think of what he has
done and how he has made you feel.
Try to forgive. Not forget but forgive.
This was an open relationship and you both
probably werent expecting to get pregnant.
maybe once your heart has healed and the
baby is born he can be a part of your life
and the babies life. But give yourself
space and time.
call up all your friends. make dates with
them as often as you can. hang with your
mom or sisters. be around people even if
you dont feel like it. I know its easier
to hide and lick your wounds, but get out
there and show the world that you are
stronger than this.
Even if you dont feel strong act like it.
Fake it till you make it. TIme will heal,
just keep yourself busy until it does.
Keep posting, we are here to help.
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Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3399 Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
Posted: 05-22-08 09:21am
Rosie has some very good advise and it's
pretty much what I would have told you.
One thing though, is although it's nice to
keep yourself busy to keep your mind off
of things, do not ignore your feelings or
try to put them in the back of your mind
for too long. If you do, it will just
elongate the healing process for you and
you don't want that. 'm sure you're going
to be a great mother. I know it must be
scary to do it alone but you will get
thorugh it. Good luck!
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help me plaese
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Sep 2008 Posts: 20 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 09-03-08 01:53am
1st off you should take care of your child
n who cares if it's his, the baby needs
you more than anything don't let your
emotion take over the best in you, the
baby does not need a father figure like
that he/she needs some one responsible.
2ndly you guys were together and had an
open relationship?? o my gosh... for sure
one of you would found someone else, guys
are greedy pigss, unfaithful when they
have the chance, plus they love to LIE
it's in their nature. for sure he left u
for that girl n that girl ur friend is a
horn dog not a friend material. i hated
when men are not responsible for they're
actions.
you should jsut move on i know that it's
hard but think about do u want a losss er
who can not stand up for his words? he
already moved on with his life and forsure
that girl that he's with is not as great
as your are, there's soooo many guys out
there.
you should work out n stay in SHAPE, make
your self feel more happy and healthier.
trust me u will feel more attractive, make
your self more attractive, change hair
style, become more mature like an adult i
find that more attractive. seriously when
your change yourself and move on with your
life maybe oneday that lying horny
immature boy will want to get back with
you but when it happens u have to be
STRONG and learn to say NO.
you better without him, he will always
cheat n u don't want to waste you tears
for losers like that, okie dokie
