ok its like this me and my bf have been
together for going on 7 years. he was
really into allot of drugs meth being the
biggest problem, he's cheated on me
several times that i know about no telling
how many i dont know about. he went to
rehab and was there for 6 months. i let a
friend of mine move in. we got drunk some
stuff happend between me, her and 2 of the
people he talks to i wouldnt call them
friends of his but there people he talks
to every now and then. his mom overdoses
night before last she doesnt make it. im
out of town right now. my "friend" tells
him everything we did... he called me i
tried to deny it but of course it finally
comes out. hes cheated on me with this
friend of mine before and he kept calling
me back asking why i did this to him, i
didnt have an explination we were drunk it
got out of hand. he was like all this
while i was in rehab trying to make it
better for us. Now he's telling me we will
never be together again because he knew
the people it happend with and when he
cheats on me its always complete
strangers. my question is was i really
that wrong?? It happend 1 time that was
it. hes cheated on me several i mean i
just dont understand why its okay for him
to cheat on me so many times but when it
happens to him hes so quick to end it. i
mean he left me and the kids on christmas
to go get more drugs and hes still not all
the way off them if we get in a fight he
leaves for at least 5 days then comes back
and everthing is suppose to just be okay.
hes put me through more than i ever
thought about puttin him through and it
just beyond me how hes so quick to throw
us away after i have stood by him.
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Beline
Supporter
Joined: 01 Mar 2008 Posts: 499 Location: , South Africa
Thanks: 131
Thanked:150
Posted: 08-10-08 01:45am
There are a couple of things that bothers
me about this post.
1. Your boyfriend cheats on you and you
don’t leave him. It’s just okay?
2. You want to justify cheating on him
because he cheated on you.
3. How many times do you have to cheat on
him before you are even?
4. You use being drunk as an excuse.
Honey, you seem like a young girl. If you
want to go out and enjoy life – that’s
okay. Nobody is forcing you to be in a
relationship. It’s a free country. Go
out and have fun. But I don’t think you
are ready for a serious relationship yet.
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wowjustwow
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Aug 2008 Posts: 2
Posted: 08-10-08 09:02am
no it's not just okay ya i've left him a
couple times for it. like 3months one time
but we always end up getting back together
cause he tells me hes sorry and all this
and i eventually give in. Im not trying to
justify it im just trying to figure out
what hes thinkin knowing how many times
hes cheated on me, and i forgave him i
dont understand why he cant do the same. I
would consider us even.. when i did all
this i had wrote him in rehab saying i
didnt know if i wanted to be with him
still so technically we wernt really
together. That's the one and only time i
have cheated on him and haven't done it
again it was pretty low. As far as drunk
being an excuse i know if i wasnt drunk it
wouldnt have happend not trying to say i
dont take the blame for it cause i am
grown and make my own decisions. He always
tells me i was high i didn't even know
what i was doing.. so it sounded like a
good reason to me? thats what he tells me
all the time. i didnt have a reason for
doing it to him. it just kinda happend and
ya i guess i am still pretty young im 24.
i just know his mom died a couple days ago
and all hes worried about is how i could
do this to him. i just dont know what to
say to make it better : /
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Beline
Supporter
Joined: 01 Mar 2008 Posts: 499 Location: , South Africa
Thanks: 131
Thanked:150
Posted: 08-12-08 14:34pm
Honey, you might want to reconsider being
with this guy. ‘I was high I didn't even
know what I was doing..” is like a drunk
man raping a girl and saying: ‘I
didn’t know what I was doing’. It
doesn’t make what he did any less
significant.
I do have a lot of sympathy with him
though (his mother passing away).
Sometimes when somebody goes through a
traumatic experience like this, they need
someone to blame (for anything) to project
their own hurt.
If you decide to stay with him you are
going to have to be very understanding. He
probably feels guilty for disappointing
her right before she passed away. How did
she react when she found out about his
drug dependency?
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worrywart01
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 May 2008 Posts: 795 Location: ,
Thanks: 66
Thanked:10
Posted: 08-12-08 21:50pm
This isn't a healthy relationship...you
cant justify cheating on him just because
he cheated on you..noooo way...YOU took
him back..that was your decision..he
doesn't have to do the same..also..why are
you still with him?! hes cheated on you
SEVERAL times???? are you kidding?! How is
that a relationship? Hes proven time and
time again that he isn't serious because
if he really loved you he wouldn't cheat
on you...i think the two of you clearly
need a break until you both can get your
lives together...he needs to focus on
getting sober right now anyway
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bottledwater
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jul 2008 Posts: 29
Thanks: 12
Thanked:11
Posted: 08-22-08 01:37am
this really sounds like a bad relationship
all around.
heres a nice highlighted portion: "when i
did all this i had wrote him in REHAB
saying i didnt know if i wanted to be with
him"
now some people could say that, hes trying
to make a change in his life. from the
sounds of this you both seem very bad at
the whole relationship deal. you both have
cheated on each other and hate each other
for it, it doesent matter who started it
or who it was with its not ok no matter
what.
sorry to be blunt but you both seem like
you need to get your act together, whether
your with eachother or not.
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