I'm new here and getting ready to vent!
Hope it's okay with you!!
I'm 32, my sister is 12 years older than
me and lives in the same town as my mom.
I'm 5 hours away - but might as well be
50....
The last two summers my family and I
(sister and her family, my mom, me and BF)
have gotten together for vacations. Last
summer we went to the beach and they were
mad at me for spending so much time with
BF (again, I'm 32) and only spending some
day trips and EVERY dinner with them. This
summer they all came to my house! We
spent Friday together riding my 4 wheeler
and bbqing and Saturday at an amusment
park. I'd already told them I'm not going
again on Sunday. Yet when Sunday rolled
around my sister was mad that we didn't
let her kids ride the 4wheeler some more
and that I didn't go to the park again....
AHHH!!!
Another thing my sister complained about
was that I didn't make breakfast but
rather only had cereal. Should I feel like
a bad host because of that??
I don't know what to do at this point. I
really feel like I'm not good enough for
them and always the outcast. I really do
try.
Any good family relationship books you can
advise on? What are you opinions?
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rooted
Supporter
Joined: 22 Mar 2007 Posts: 1685
Thanks: 66
Thanked:7
Posted: 08-20-08 16:31pm
Hospitality can be thought of as
unselfishness and total thoughtfulness for
your guests . It's easy to conceptualize
and difficult to practice. Perhaps, in
the interest of harmony, you can really
surrender your own desires when you are
with your family and go with the flow. I
think that it's less about understanding
your family from your mind and more about
connecting with them with your heart.
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zigemyster
Supporter
Joined: 16 Aug 2008 Posts: 355 Location: ,
Thanks: 40
Thanked:19
online
Posted: 08-20-08 17:35pm
Here's my thought: Last summers vacation,
was it agreed upon that you all had to be
together ALL the time? From what you
describe you spent time with them. I
don't see why they made such a big deal.
Is it a controlling issue?
Now on to them coming to your house.
Breakfast is breakfast and if she wanted
something else I am sure there was an
eatery somewhere to accommodate her
likings. Iit sounds like you allowed them
to ride the 4-wheeler and if you decided
not to let it continue that is your
choice, not hers. If she wanted to go to
the park again, then she should go and if
you did not want to, that is your choice.
You went once, why go again?
Should you feel bad? If I was in your
shoes, no I would not feel bad at all.
You did nothing wrong. There are just
some that are hard to please, family or
not. Have you ever taken a vacation
without family members? It can be quite
liberating.
