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sassy01
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Apr 2008
Posts: 6
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New to sex & uncomfortable
Posted: 04-16-08 14:18pm
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Hi, I'm a little nervous about spilling
out my information but I just thought it
wouldnt hurt to get any feedback or help
from others. I am 21 years old and lost my
virginity 2 months ago. Me and my
boyfriend are deeply in love with each
other and he was my first. First time was
painful but no bleeding because of my
hymen being popped during an accident
couple of years back. The sex only lasted
less than 5 minutes for my first time,
second time it lasted the same. It was
just hurting too much to continue longer.
After having sex a couple of times the
pain wasn't so painful, I than tend to
feel only the penis in my vagina back and
forth, no pleasurable feeling at all. I
could feel myself getting wet but no good
feeling, also I can still feel this
unbearable pressure (sorta like a painful
sting) towards my anal. Like it was
pushing towards my butt pretty much. He
tried not sticking it all the way in but
it helped a little but also I could still
feel it a couple of times. I mean sex...
it has gone better or as you can say
approved better after a couple of times.
But it's not pleasurable for me still and
still have a problem with that small
painful pressure, but other than that,
thats it. I'm not giving up on sex, heck
no, I eventually would LOVE to have great
sex, I guess it just gonna take some time
and practice. I just thought maybe someone
could put in any advice for me on what
they think I should do. Thanks!!
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coliejo
Moderator
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Location: East Lansing, MI
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Posted: 04-16-08 14:40pm
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try foreplay bofore sex to make yourself
more in the mood. Also, sometimes I get
that pain towards my anus like you were
describing and if we try a different
position sometimes it helps.
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Rosie H
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jun 2007
Posts: 1115
Location: Phoenix, AZ, USA
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Posted: 04-16-08 17:09pm
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try exploring oral sex. Allow him to
pleasure you orally first before sex. I
have a problem with being too tense
because I have vulvar vestibulitis. So
when I am tense my vagina closes...lol.
Seriously though. So what my hubby does is
make sure I am fully aroused by giving me
oral sex. Sometimes he brings me to
orgasm. After that my vaginal walls are
"loose" and ready for sex. So when he
enters me I only feel pleasure not the
pressure of his penis. I hope this makes
sense.
You could also give him oral pleasure.
this can be a huge turn on for him and
you. I know it helps get me going. Just
try different things. If you dont like it
then move on to something else. But I
think thr trick for you would be to get
fully aroused and do not rush into
intercourse.
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Maddie34
Moderator
Joined: 06 Oct 2007
Posts: 1364
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Posted: 04-16-08 20:19pm
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Whether you decide to do loads of foreplay
or not, I'd get a bottle of lube. I don't
know why but after foreplay I tend to dry
up and if that were to happen to you it
certainly wouldn't make the sex any
better.
Definetly try some different positions, if
you're not really comfortable trying new
positions then just tell your guy to
change his angle just a little bit, or
shift your hips until you feel a spot you
like. If your tensing before your guy
enters you then that could cause some pain
too. Try being on top or use your hand to
guide him in so you have control and can
find something you enjoy.
You could also try some clitoral
stimulation during sex too.
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sassy01
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Apr 2008
Posts: 6
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Posted: 04-16-08 21:50pm
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Ive done almost everything that ya'll have
adviced and I thank you for giving me some
advice. We do tons of foreplay and oral
sex and use a lot of lubrication. I try
not to be nervous and I tend to get
aroused when we foreplay but I get dry
easily too, but soon I tend to get wet
after a while and I don't even feel it
sometimes, lol. Even though I don't get
much pleasure from it, I make sure that my
man gets it in return. He is so worrying
about getting me pleasurable sex and
really wants me to have an orgasm but he
knows my issue and we are really trying.
Just don't really know what else to do.
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coliejo
Moderator
Joined: 19 Mar 2008
Posts: 571
Location: East Lansing, MI
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Posted: 04-16-08 21:54pm
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just relax and enjoy it, i know you have
tried that I'm sure and it is harder than
it seems. you could try like someone was
saying about guiding him in to you. also
being on top might help. it takes women
(usually) alot longer to have an orgasm,
if they ever do.
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Maddie34
Moderator
Joined: 06 Oct 2007
Posts: 1364
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Posted: 04-16-08 22:00pm
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Well you need to lubricate in the
beginning, like right before he enters
you. Because if you start when you're dry
then you'll get sore and nothing is going
to feel good if it’s already irritated.
So even if you know you'll get wet later,
you're better off making sure you START
lubricated. Put lube on yourself AND his
penis.
Have you had an orgasm before? Do you
stimulate your clit during sex? You didn't
say. You could have him do it, or just do
it yourself!
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coliejo
Moderator
Joined: 19 Mar 2008
Posts: 571
Location: East Lansing, MI
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Posted: 04-16-08 22:01pm
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you could also add lube in the middle if
you feel yourself becoming dry
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sassy01
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Apr 2008
Posts: 6
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Posted: 04-16-08 23:48pm
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Yeah we use a lot of lubricant b4 sex on
me and on him. I never had a orgasm can't
really have one if you don't feel anything
or enjoy sex, also we do lots of clitoris
stimulation, defiantly in oral sex.
Occasionally it feels good and sometimes I
would shiver, but than it goes away. Some
times my vagina does feel sore after being
continuously being rubbed on or during
oral sex. When this happens I attend to
avoid sex and just stop and take a break
for a couple of days to give me back my
feeling down there. Trust me we use
lubricant a lot b4 and during sex. But
then I tend to get wet and sometimes I
can't feel it and he would tell me that Im
extremely wet that it would literally
slowly come out of my vagina during sex.
Weird I can't feel it. Even talked to my
gynocologyst but she pretty much told me
things I already knew.
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Maddie34
Moderator
Joined: 06 Oct 2007
Posts: 1364
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Posted: 04-17-08 01:28am
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How often or do you masturbate? Learning
how to get yourself to orgasm will really
help out your sex life. Learn what you
like for yourself. Then you can help your
partner. I wasn't able to enjoy sex until
I figured out how to properly masturbate
and get myself to orgasm.
I don't really like oral sex, so I pretty
much make sure we skip right to sex.
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Rosie H
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jun 2007
Posts: 1115
Location: Phoenix, AZ, USA
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Thanked:5
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Posted: 04-17-08 17:32pm
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well since you have tryed everything, with
the exception of masterbation (not sure if
you have)then I would suggest you see a
specialist. Maybe there is nerve damage or
maybe something tramatic happened to you?
I experienced painful sex which did not
allow me to enjoy it. I went to doctors
for years until I finally found someone.
He specifically studied the vulva. He was
not a regular gyno and I had to be
referred to him. But try looking up The
Vulva Clinic. Its based here is AZ but
there are links for other organizations
all around the country.
Maybe someone that studies and researches
disorders with the vulva and vagina can
help you more than a gyno. I saw three
gynos and no one came close to helping me.
The solution for me was estrogen
replacement. Once I got on that I was pain
free and never had so much sex in my life.
Good luck and dont give up!
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sassy01
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Apr 2008
Posts: 6
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Posted: 04-17-08 21:58pm
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Lord I hope nothing is wrong with me like
that, I just hope its goes away soon. Its
not painful for me just not much of a
feeling kind of thing. Also I don't
masterbate really at all, bc I'm never in
the mood bc I can't feel anything and I
don't see a point. But I tried a couple of
time and nothing really at all. I even
bought myself a dildo, bc my bf thought it
would help me, but I only used it twice
and both time I couldn't even feel it go
in much and didn't really do anything for
me. I could try see a specialist but that
would mean more money and more time.
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xbostonx
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Mar 2008
Posts: 96
Location: Boston, MA
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Posted: 04-18-08 12:48pm
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Try foreplay before having sex. Make sure
the vagina is wet before the penis is
inserted or it is going to hurt. You still
might be thinking to much which can cause
pain in it self because your not into the
sex. Also make sure you leave enough time
in between sex so your vagina can have a
break since you are new to sex.
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LadyKitten
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Oct 2007
Posts: 60
Location: ,
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Posted: 04-18-08 13:22pm
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You said you didn't bleed during your
first time becuase of an accident that
happened that broke your hymen. Could
this accident have caused other problems
which is why you don't feel anything, even
when you masturbate? I normally don't
orgasm while masturbating if all I'm doing
is sticking a dildo in me. I usually need
a vibrator to simulate my clit for that.
The two together do an even more amazing
job. Try getting a small viberator to
just stimulate your clit. If you don't
feel anything pleasurable, there's got to
be something wrong and I'd have it looked
at.
Good luck.
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sassy01
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Apr 2008
Posts: 6
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Posted: 04-18-08 14:22pm
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First I wanna really thank you all for
putting in ur inputs. I have an
appointment with my gynecologist in a
month from now and hopefully she can take
another close look to see if there's any
problems.
I have a dildo thats called the petite
rabbit or something like that, it has a
cliterois tickler and the dildo that
vibrates, that has like 6 stages. Haven't
really used it well enough. My accident
wasn't that serious that caused my hymen
to break, when it did I got checked and
they told me nothing was wrong besides a
little swellen from my accident. I don't
know, I do thank of sex and I do wanna
have great sex, I try my best to not be
nervous or think about too much. Hopefully
its just a phase that will go away soon.
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Rosie H
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jun 2007
Posts: 1115
Location: Phoenix, AZ, USA
Thanks: 14
Thanked:5
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Posted: 04-18-08 14:32pm
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I hope nothing is wrong either, but it
would not hurt to see what the doctors
have to say because above all else there
has to be a reason you cant feel. Maybe
once you really know why you will feel
better about sex in general. Please keep
us posted.
Oh sounds like you have an awesome BF, hes
a keeper!
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louisedelafreemz
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Apr 2008
Posts: 3
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Posted: 04-22-08 13:17pm
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Ive recently lost my virginity to my
boyfriend, however my first time was not
painful whatsoever! I couldnt even tell
whether it was in and he doesnt have a
small penis. I to do not get anything from
sex, the first couple of times i couldnt
feel anything but now i can a little. I
think that it will just get better in time
when you get to know what each other
likes. With the pressure feeling that you
get, i get this too. Its your bf hitting
your cervix(the enterance to your womb)
this can be quite uncomfortable and
sometimes hurt. therefore each time tell
him not to go all the way in and after a
while you should get used to it. I still
have not had an orgasm yet but hopefully
in time i will! Hope ive been helpfull!!
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sassy01
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Apr 2008
Posts: 6
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Posted: 04-29-08 08:34am
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Thank you so much for your help, (I mean
everyone). I will keep ya'll posted on
what happens, apparently I moved my
appointment in August now...to see my
gynecologist. I'm on birth control
now......and oh my god my perscription is
50 dollars each month. I believe thats too
damn much for birth control and hopefully
I can get something a lot cheaper.
Thanks...bye!!
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LadyKitten
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Oct 2007
Posts: 60
Location: ,
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Posted: 04-29-08 10:06am
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What BC is it? I'm on Ortho Tri-cyclen
and they are only $17 per month. Some
women's clinics will provide free birth
control if you do not have benefits that
will cover any medications. If you find
$50 a month is too much, ask for another
brand or try a women's clinic. See what
they can do. There's no reason women
shouldn't be on birth control just because
they can't afford it.
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