Hello,
I've been with my boyfriend for almost 3
years now. We clicked immediately when we
met, and we had a long distance
relationship for a year. He called me all
the time, e-mailed, paid so much attention
to me. I fell so hard for him. He was
everything I've ever wanted and more, I
thought I was Cinderella. We were both
still married when we met, and we both
quickly separated from our spouses. We
would fly back and forth to see each other
about once a month. I proceeded to get
divorced. He completely intended to
proceed with his, but it kept stalling. I
didn't know until I moved to his town that
he was still involved with his wife off
and on. Loved me, told me he was trying
to get out of the situation with her,
never moved back in with her, but couldn't
seem to extricate himself. Started to get
shady acting, would be way in love with me
calling all the time and coming over, and
then he'd be unreachable or unresponsive
when I did speak with him. Back and
forth. Wonderful. Unresponsive.
Finally they got divorced. She moved
away, and I moved in with him. Everything
was wonderful for a month. He was so
excited about me being with him, told me
we would only be with each other and that
I was the love of his life and that he
didn't want to be with anyone else. All
of a sudden, he's talking to his exwife
again. To make this long story short, let
me explain the current happenings of about
the last month.
Things between us started improving. I've
always loved him so much, he's definitely
the love of my life. He becomes
attentive, loving, fun, smiling,
unstressed and happy -- normal acting.
Then he'll turn on a dime, and all of a
sudden it's like this person that I
thought loved me suddenly hates and
resents me. For example, about a week
ago, he was telling me he loves me,
holding me all night long, doing the
grocery shopping and planning stuff, just
being wonderful. About two days ago, he
starts looking wooden faced. Nothing has
happened, nothing has changed as far as I
know I haven't done anything to make him
angry. He starts pulling away, and I can
feel it. He starts getting distant. He's
not happy anymore, he won't make eye
contact, it's like he suddenly doesn't
like me anymore. This morning, I try to
find out what's wrong. I tell him I love
him. He says I don't care. I say a few
days ago, you did. He says, when? He has
no reason that I can think of to be angry
at me. He has just turned on a dime, gone
from hot to cold, gone from not being able
to get enough of me and pouring his energy
into the relationship and seeming to be
happy about it, to angry and cold and
distant.
He's moody. Other people can tell when he
gets like this. I get the brunt of it,
and it's a definite pattern. Hot and
cold. He'll get really quiet, won't talk
to people, and his family members can tell
when he's distancing himself. I don't
know if it's me or what it is. I feel
like I treat him very well, don't scream
and yell, don't demand too much, just love
him.
Is this bipolar or is he just not sure if
he wants to be with me or not?
Please help, I am reeling with hurt today.
I keep thinking this hot and cold, come
here go away thing could be something he
needs help for, and then I think it is
probably me. I hope someone can help.
