Joined: 29 Feb 2008 Posts: 47 Location: Parker, CO
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Pregnancy and Friends Posted: 03-26-08 12:12pm
I wasn't sure if I should post this on the
relationships forum or the pregnancy forum
but I thought you other pregnant ladies
out there could relate better. So when i
first found out I was pregnant, I was so
worried I was gonna lose a lot of my
friendships over it. I mean were all
26-28 years old, and granted we did other
stuff too, but we also went out a lot and
partied and danced, and did the normal 20
something stuff. So I kinda started
growing out of that phase about a year ago
and didn't do it as often but still
occasionally. Anyhoot when i told all my
girlfriends that I was pregnant they were
all so excited and i told them my fear
that we would grow apart and they all
swore up and down that nothing would
change and that we could totally do some
nights in and drink wine (well them at
least) and that we will all still be
close. Well now that the newness of being
pregnant and stuff is wearing off, my
bestfriend just told me that I'm to
wrapped up in being pregnant and my
husband and the whole family thing to
relate to her anymore. And yes I made a
vow that now that i'm married and pregnant
I wasn't going to be one of those people
who just blows off there friends. So no I
don't hang out and go partying like we use
to but, I do try at least once every two
or three weeks to all hang out and go to
dinner or a movie and just catch up and
what not. We all e-mail all day long while
were at work, and I always every few days
talk to my bestfriend on the phone while
were driving home from work. She says
that Ive changed and don't seem to care
about keeping the friendships together,
but really I just don't know how to make
more time. I mean between the normal
whoa's of pregnancy of always being tired,
and not feeling well, and just being
washed out, plus having a husband and
wanting to spend time with him, and we
just bought our first house and are
packing to move here in about a month,
preparing for the baby, going to
childbirth classes, I just don't have
anymore time to give. I don't know what
to do, I love my friends and weve all been
so close for so long and I feel like I'm
losing them. Has anyone else been through
this before, does anyone have any
suggestions?
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*star*
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Posted: 03-26-08 12:27pm
Maybe your friends feel a bit left out of
your pregnancy. Maybe you can make a date
with your friends to include them into
picking out some things for the baby.
That way they can feel more a part of the
process with you.
Like maybe you can go with them to Babies
R Us or Target to start a registry for
your shower. Or go to those stores to
have them help you pick out furniture or
bedding. It doesnt have to be the stuff
you pick out, because you should do that
with your husband, but it would give you
some bonding time with your friends and
let them feel like they have a part in the
baby's world.
Or just plain old picking out baby
clothes...that is always easy, because who
can turn down cute baby clothes???
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STB7542
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Feb 2008 Posts: 47 Location: Parker, CO
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Posted: 03-26-08 12:30pm
Those are good suggestions Thank You. I
was always weary of doing that cause I
didn't want to be one of those pregnant
woman who do nothing but talk about being
pregnant and baby stuff (even though
secretly that's all I do want to talk
about) so I make a point of not saying
stuff a lot just keeping them posted on
ultrasound pics and stuff, but i guess I
never thought about the fact that they
might feel left out because I'm not one of
those pregnant women.
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dannyboygirl
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Feb 2006 Posts: 192 Location: ,
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That was a great solution star Posted: 03-26-08 12:34pm
I like how you put that...Good luck
STB7542
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*star*
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Posted: 03-26-08 12:35pm
I would just see if they would want to go
out with you one day. One weekend see if
they want to plan a day to go shopping
with you *just the girls* and then see if
they want to make a special trip to babies
r us (just to look) Chances are, that once
they get in there and see all the baby
stuff, they will ohh and ahh and go baby
crazy...
You can also do that at Target...just go
shopping and end up at the baby section
and start imagining the nursary and ask
for input. They will get into it with
you...
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chrissy721
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jul 2005 Posts: 792 Location: Somewhere out there
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Posted: 03-26-08 15:02pm
We asked my best friends to go register
with us when we found out ours was a boy.
We'd get together and have movie nights,
card nights, work on the nursery together,
etc. So there is still stuff you can do
with friends if they want to do stuff like
that. They'll have to understand though
that pregnant ladies do get tired
sometimes and sick and don't always want
to hang out 24/7.
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tigresacanela24
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Joined: 11 Nov 2005 Posts: 5261 Location: Treat your children well, eventually they'll choose your nursing home.
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Posted: 03-26-08 15:12pm
I don't really know. I lost a lot of my
friends when I got married because I think
that my friends were either jealous that I
married before them or just thought that
i'd be different and never bothered to
find out if that was the case or not.
Then when I got pregnant I lost a few more
friends because I couldn't be as
spontaneous as they were anymore. They'd
start turning down invitations to do
things with me because I couldn't go out
with them on a whim. Maybe they just
couldn't identify. I found that the
friends I lost weren't very good friends
but the ones I kept turned out to be my
very best friends. People are weird like
that. I've mentioned that to a couple
other of my friends and they've noticed
the same thing. I wish I had some good
advice for you but I don't. But it might
help you to know that other people have
gone through that too.
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STB7542
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Feb 2008 Posts: 47 Location: Parker, CO
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Posted: 03-26-08 15:32pm
Yeah I talked to my mom about it, (cause
believe it or not in my adult life I'm
starting to listen to my parents and
realize they actually do know what there
talking about) and she said that this
happens for a lot of people and it gets
harder and harder to relate to your
friends, and that I probably will lose
some of my friends, but if that's the case
our friendships couldn't have been that
strong in the first place. I'm sure I'll
make new friends who share more of an
interest in stuff i'm interested in now,
and who aren't consumed with going out and
partying all the time, cause I don't
forsee that I'll ever get back to that
point in my life again. Glad to know some
of you guys have had the same problem,
it's just hard being the first one in a
group to get married and have a baby...my
mom said maybe someday down the line when
there at the point in there life they'll
come back as they'll realize where I am
now and see how hard it really is. And
yes I try to force myself but goodness
pregnancy is hard and I can't hang out all
the time and some nights I'm proud of
myself if I can manage to do a load of
laundry and stay awake till 10 o'clock.
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tigresacanela24
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Nov 2005 Posts: 5261 Location: Treat your children well, eventually they'll choose your nursing home.
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