I am 16 and my boyfriend is 19. I am
currently pregnant and my mom does not
approve of it. She treats me like crap and
i really cant take it anymore. She abuses
me but ive always been to scared to do
anything about it. I want to get
emancipated but i need to know the ways to
go about doing it. Please help, i need
advice!
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mominashoe
Supporter
Joined: 04 Dec 2007 Posts: 1773 Location: , KS USA
Thanks: 40
Thanked:24
Posted: 03-20-08 23:30pm
Since you are 16, there isn't a whole lot
you can do since you are still a minor,
but you have a few options. The best
thing to do is probably to find your local
SRS and they can give you information and
support. They see stuff like this all the
time.
I can see why she would be upset, because
you are her responsibility, but not your
baby, but you can't really separate the
two. Having a baby is for adults to do,
so technically you should be doing
everything else that an adult does, and
quite frankly, you can't because you
aren't old enough. It's hard for me to
say exactly what the scenario should be
here because I don't know what your family
ground rules are.
You also have the option of making your
boyfriend help you out. He IS the father
and an adult, so he is going to have to
provide some support to you and the baby.
Good luck.
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wildwoodflower
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Feb 2008 Posts: 62 Location: PHX, AZ US
Thanks: 2
Thanked:0
Posted: 03-21-08 10:18am
A lot of it depends on the state you live
in, first off. You will probably need a
lawyer. You have to prove that you are
financially stable on your own and will
have a place to stay and means of getting
around (i.e. car) as well as that you are
in an unsafe situation.
What role does your father play in your
life? If he stil has guardianship, he may
be able to help a ton.
Also, if you and your boyfriend get
married, if thats something you are both
interested in, you are considered
emancipated. But of course, you need
parental consult for that.
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britbrit815
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Mar 2008 Posts: 4
Posted: 03-21-08 12:41pm
Well i live in Virginia and my father
lives in Pennsylvania he hasnt really been
in my life at all.
My boyfriend has a car and my friend and i
were thinking about getting an apartment.
i was reading the laws in virginia and it
says theres three different ways i can get
emancipated and one that would actually
work is if a judge grants it to me. so i
was wondering if you think in my situation
they would actually grant me
emancipation?
My boyfriend has been living with me for
about 3 months, i was talking to my mom
yesterday about getting emancipated and
she said if i did that to her then she
would mess up my life so i couldnt, like
tell them things that wouldnt let me get
emancipated.
Do you think that since my mom new me and
my boyfriend were having sex and during
court she said something about it, do you
think he would get in trouble. i mean she
knew it was going on and didnt do anything
about it.
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wildwoodflower
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Feb 2008 Posts: 62 Location: PHX, AZ US
Thanks: 2
Thanked:0
Posted: 03-21-08 12:54pm
Yes, your mom could press charges against
him unfortunately.
There's so much to think about before
getting emancipated. Its very, very hard
to do and will probably take a good year,
which, by then you will have your baby.
It is almost just better to try and work
things out with your mom, as hard as it
may be. Getting outside help such as
counseling would be best.
Explore things with your father, see if
there's anything he can/would do
regardless of his past involvement in your
life.
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britbrit815
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Mar 2008 Posts: 4
Posted: 03-21-08 13:39pm
thank you =]
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Ingi
Moderator
Joined: 09 Mar 2006 Posts: 8880 Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
Thanks: 171
Thanked:197
Posted: 03-21-08 14:17pm
How would you support yourself if you and
your friend got an apartment?
Why has your mom been allowing your
boyfriend to live in her home with you?
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britbrit815
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Mar 2008 Posts: 4
Posted: 03-22-08 11:43am
i have a job and so does my boyfriend, my
friend and i want to get an apartment
together.
hes been living here because his parents
are moving to another state.
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mominashoe
Supporter
Joined: 04 Dec 2007 Posts: 1773 Location: , KS USA
Thanks: 40
Thanked:24
Posted: 03-23-08 01:28am
Since someone mentioned marriage as a
possibility of being emancipated I
thought I would post this legal matter for
you: it is for your state:
Age Requirements and Consent
The minimum age for marriage in the
Commonwealth of Virginia is sixteen (16)
years for both the bride and groom;
however, if either party is under eighteen
(1, consent to the
marriage must be given by the father,
mother or legal guardian. This may be done
in person by the parent or legal guardian
before the person issuing the license or
by written consent properly sworn to
before a notary public. Special provisions
are made in Virginia law to allow marriage
for under age parties when the female is
pregnant and for situations in which under
age applicants have no parent or legal
guardian.
How would you support
yourself if you and your friend got an
apartment?
This will be an important question in your
hearing. Here are some other things to
consider:
(This is just one county's questions,
other counties/States may have different
or additional questions.)
Q.
What does the Judge or referee have to
decide at the hearing?
A.
At the hearing the probate judge must
order the minor emancipated if the judge
determines that to be in the best interest
of the minor. For the judge to make this
determination the minor must be able to
show that:
*
Parents or guardian do not object or
if they do object they are not providing
support to the minor.
* The minor is at least 16 years old.
* The minor can manage his/her own
finances and has either employment or
means of support other than Public
Assistance such as Food Stamps, TANF,
State Disability.*
*One of the things that you need to prove
to the Judge is that you are financially
self-supporting without any assistance
from government programs or your parents.
* The minor has the ability to handle
personal and social affairs (including
proof of housing).
*
The minor understands his/her rights
and responsibilities under this law. (The
minor must read the emancipation law and
understand it.)
It is up to the minor to convince the
judge that all of these requirements are
met. This is done through sworn testimony
from the minor and any other persons the
minor wants to have in the courtroom to
testify about these areas.
, consent to the
marriage must be given by the father,
mother or legal guardian. This may be done
in person by the parent or legal guardian
before the person issuing the license or
by written consent properly sworn to
before a notary public. Special provisions
are made in Virginia law to allow marriage
for under age parties when the female is
pregnant and for situations in which under
age applicants have no parent or legal
guardian.
