I am pregnant with our second child. My
inlaws live so far away that they need to
fly to get here.
When I was pregnant with the first child,
my inlaws came to visit and stayed a week.
My husband's job took him on the road a
lot, and at this particular time he had
been gone for almost 4 weeks. He took
vacation the week they were there. His
parents wanted to tag along for the
ultrasound appt. I had- the one where you
find out the sex of the child, which we
had decided to do. They wanted to be
present in the room during the ultrasound.
I was so relieved when the tech told them
only my husband could come. I'm not close
with them, but even if I were, I wanted it
to be just me and my husband. I felt like
it was kind of invasive of them.
I was in labor for a day and a half,
trying to deliver the old fashioned way,
but ended up needing a c-section. I had to
stay in the hospital for 5 days- I weighed
8 lbs MORE after birth (from all the IV
fluids I guess) and the fluid would not
come off....I was in pain and so miserable
I couldn't sleep and could barely tend to
my newborn. I still had 6 extra pounds
plus baby weight when I went home; it took
3 1/2 weeks for me to start losing the
weight!
Inlaws called afterwards and wanted to
come within two weeks of the birth Husband
told them to come later and they arrived
week 5 after the birth (I had asked for
them to come the 6th week b/c they say it
takes 6 weeks to get back to normal). They
arrived right before midnight because they
didn't book the flight I had recommended
to them that would have got them in early
in the evening (not quite sure why, flight
cost the same and had no schedule
conflicts). They stayed for a week (which
I understood b/c they flew so far) in our
house, which is small, w/ all three
bedrooms next to each other. His parents
don't have experience with babies b/c they
adopted my husband when he was 4 and he's
an only child, and they were afraid to
help out with things like changing
diapers, etc.
Question #1 :Pregnant ladies, is this
normal practice to have the inlaws in with
you for an ultrasound (My Mom didn't ask,
nor would I have wanted her there; I'm
pretty close w/her, but I felt this was
just for me and my husband), and is it
unreasonable to not want them there?
Question #2: When is a reasonable time to
ask the inlaws to come this time around
after the birth? I have to have a
c-section again according to the MD, it's
not optional.
Question #3 Is it impolite to ask them to
stay in a hotel this time (we have 3
bedrooms)? They are not even 60 and
retired early 3 years ago by choice- not
rich, but apparently comfortable enough to
do so. Their habits are just so different
from ours and they won't adjust. It's
probably not fair to expect them to adjust
while staying with us. Last time they
slammed doors and talked loudly on the
phone to other relatives late
(10-11p.m.)at night, upstairs next to the
baby's room. It really annoyed my husband,
but he won't say anything to them. All 3
bedrooms are next to each other, and a
small house with 6 people for a week is
hard to imagine again.
