im 15 about a year and a half ago my whole
life was good apart from my dad used to
hit me lock me in my room and not let me
down stairs when my mum was working. i
started telling my mum when i got about
11, she was brilliant she always made me
feel much better. but my life has got
soooo much worse scince, my best friend
scince i was 4 moved away, wheni went to
high school and got different school from
my friends. i got an eating disorder, my
mum got rid of my dad(that was good) all
my friends fell out with me over something
i didnt have anything to do with! i even
got death threates by them and they were
supposed to be my good friends! we had to
sell are lovely home now me and my mum
live in a horrible little house we have no
money litterally looking down the back of
the sofa for money for a pint of milk i
have gained lots of weight i hate my body,
it has changed soo much scince i got the
flu at christmas. i want to kill myself
everyday for a year i have been to school
all year i have no friends my mum dosent
talk to me she argues with me over
nothing. i cry all the time she talked
about fostering i want at least a hug but
i get nothing i dont no her we fight all
the time i faked beening sick for a week
in a bid to get attention and she went on
a date!then i really got sick and had to
go to hospital then she was sympathetic
but for about a minuite. i want to be a
model act and study fashion and design i
have no money confidence nothing i want to
go to america too but suicide is far more
realistic i have been with 3 phsycologists
over the year i feel worse im crying now i
need someone to take me away or ill have
to do it myself xxxxxxxx i need
help someone nice for a change
It sounds like you have a lot there to
cope with at the moment. I can understand
a bit about how you feel as I also grew up
in a similar situation and then went on to
really dislike life for awhile.
The good news is that there are ways to
feel a bit better, like posting messages
online as you did and then hopefully over
time you will begin to feel even better
and better. I know it may seem pretty
dark now but it can get lighter for you.
It sounds like you have some fantatic
goals on mind with wanting to be a model,
act and do fashion design along with
wanting to go to America. I'm originally
from there but now live in the Netherlands
(I also lived in Estonia and the UK so can
appreciate your desire to travel).
It's always good to try and pick one thing
that you are very motivated by and then
use that as a motivation to help on the
other areas in your life. Maybe I can
help a bit with that if you would like.
You mentioned that you are 15, have you
started thinking about/looking at some
fasion design or acting schools? What
other things do you enjoy doing or want to
do in life?
I'll keep an eye out for any posts you
write back.
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Schizophreniahealth
This page was last updated on June 11, 2008
xxxxxxxx i need
help someone nice for a change
