Single Mom 3 month old baby Posted: 04-15-08 11:35am
F-26 single mom, working on MAsters degree
now and working fulltime. My bf of 51/2
yrs ahd a healthy supprotive and
understanding relationship. We both got
alogn well with each others family and I
broke it off April 2007. Apparently he was
cheating on me adn was confused with which
of the women to choose and still have me
as his main lady. I wasn't having that. He
mentioned in March 07 that he needs some
space and he wasn't ready fro marriage
prob not until the next 5 yrs yadi yadi
yadi ya when all along he said he wanted
a family and married by the time he is 30.
He is 29. I said it was over 2x before but
I figured we could work it out and it was
just a phase. Prior to the breakup
statement he was very obsessive and said I
was stressing. All the time we were
dating. I heard he said he got tired of me
etc and is now with a girl who is a mother
of 3, had issues with her children's
father and works in the same hotel as he
does. I learnt she said he was sexy when
she gave him a massage one time. Now I
always complimented my bf but he would act
all shy and said no I have all the looks.
Could it be he was just with me because I
was intelligent, independent and strong?
Point- We held it together for sometime in
march, made love a couple to times. The
last tiem prior to me getting pregnant, I
told him I want to work it out but he
never said anything so I took my cue
meaning he didn't want it and was confused
so I decided not to call etc. I started
talking and going out with another guy and
we had intercourse 2x and that was it.
March 29 being the last time. My ex
visited April 3 the same day the sor tof
new guy wasat my house and he was abusive
verbally etc. Guess he figured he could
walk back in. I am not for nonsense. He
wanted to knwo what the guy was doing in
my room etc. The saem day my ex bf abused
me and we had unprotected intercourse and
a baby came about. I todl him I was
pregnant but he believed it was the other
guys baby. He tried to contact me nwo and
again but I cannot take on the
inconsistency etc. He wants me to bring
the daughter by his mom to make sure it's
his child and I figure from all the things
he did and tried to trash me I don't want
anything to do with him. He complains to
everyone he meets because he doesn't want
to be responsible.; If he comes a a mature
guy and speak to me I would consider him
being part of the child's life but I do
not want my chidl to be around him or his
new gf because I think he is unstable. I
learnt he is smoking pot now, and his new
gf texts and curses me. Well she stopped
now. What should I do? This was very long
but over a yr now I'm tryign to let go.
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coolkenny13
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Posted: 04-15-08 11:43am
wow you have caught yourself in a mess.
this happens alot and all of the time.
your ex is very unsupportive , and dont
even try to get back or even talk to him..
what a fool!! ... anyway ifs its possible
move away from your home for a lil while
and stay somewhere else. it really works.
if you have enough of money a nanny would
really help as of now. IGNORE him
tottaly.remember you can even protect
yourself by law and if he is doing drugs
you can always take this matter to
court.law is on your side. dont be afraid
!!! u need to be strong.
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caribbean5
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Posted: 04-15-08 11:57am
Thanks for the views coolhenny13. I got
the baby in Dec 29, 07 and I was on
vacation from October. I am now back at
work. We live 10mins apart walking
distance but I don't see him. He works
from 7am - 4pm back then and I work from 8
- 4pm but our paths didn't cross much when
we were together unles it was after work,
we'd drop in on each other lunch time or
weekends and we'd spend time together in
the night. I have been avoiding any
situation with him. From time to time
private calls show up on my cell phone but
I don't answer. His father and I attend
the same church and by coincidence I
bumped into him when coming from changing
my baby's diaper. I said to him this is
your granddaughter and he said yes he
heard i had the baby but he doesn't know
what's going on. He doesn't live with my
ex and his mother and bros. He was married
b4 and from what i learnt didn't treat his
present wife good. They live apart. I
guess this lead to the unstable nautreof
their son my ex. I have not said anything
to his mom because I don't see her and I
am nto takign my baby over there to prove
anything. I feel so much better now he is
out of my life and he could have been a
man and go his way rather than pretending.
We are all human but I think individuals
need to act mature. So I'm working, taking
care of my baby, my mom babysits because
she just retired and I'm doing really
well. I heard he said how I am slim which
I've always been I had no baby weight
aside from my tummy. The baby resembles
both of us to the max but I won't put my
child through any mess. I'll protect her
and explain to her as she gets older. For
now I am chilling and hoping to go into
antoher relationship with a mature person
in future and let my over be over.
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coolkenny13
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Posted: 04-15-08 12:04pm
great seriously fantastic. im so happy for
you. you are one of those brave mommys. i
wish i could be there as a friend right
now to support you.but if you do ever need
help please let me know. im good at the
advice part lol .what im really happy
about is that you decided to bring up the
baby by urself and not opted for an
abortion. u know people these days
right...i suggest you dont rush to find
love really fast , find someone really
really mature like you said , even if the
guy happens to be 10 years older.i dont
think you need to consult anyone from his
family ne more and as long u have a hold
of the child tthts more than enough. this
might be too private but it would be great
if you had a picture of how your baby
looks.i love babys cutest things in
the world
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caribbean5
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Joined: 16 Jul 2007 Posts: 34
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Posted: 04-15-08 12:22pm
Thank you. I have been doing ok. I have
not spoken to anyone close to him about my
baby and I really prefer people not asked
has he come to visit his daughter. I just
don't want it on my mind or brought up in
a convo. I get along really well with one
of my ex's sisterin law, his niece and
nephew. They try to enquire from time to
time but I tell them it's his choice and I
have made mine. If I see his relatives, I
say hi and go my way that's it. We live in
the same town and that is not going to
change. I love my baby and I'm thankful
that I am a mother. So I continue to be
positive and be a cautious and strong
woman.
*I have to check on uploading pics on this
site. never ddid it
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