Infants Forum - sleeping with parent


sleeping with parent

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Analisa

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sleeping with parent Posted: 04-20-08 00:23am


My baby is going to be 5 months in the next couple weeks. He still sleeps with my in my bed at night, he can sleep other places, but I think he prefers to sleep in mine. He doesn't always sleep through the night, but for the most part he does. Is this a bad thing that he sleeps with me? Do you think that this will make it hard for me when I want to put him in his own crib/bed?

Saragirl

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Posted: 04-24-08 08:10am


My daughter is going to be 5 months tomorrow. she still sleeps with me. She will sleep during the day in her crib but not for long, and when i try to put her in her crib at night, she screams until i pick her up....I never leave her for more than 15 minutes. It is up to you if you want him with you or not. for me its piece of mind, i find myself checking on her every 5 minutes when shes in her crib, so its easiest when she's with me. it may be hard to convert him to a crib or toddler bed later, but it all depends on how you as a parent feels. personally i will find it easier when Emma is one or two, because she will have a better understanding of what is happening and i will know that the crying isn't happening because she needs something like food, or a new diaper. Good luck

susie3827

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Posted: 04-28-08 10:40am


Actually at one or two it will be harder to get them into their own beds....by that time you have conditioned them that your bed is 'THEIR' bed and you will find it very very difficult to change the mind of a one or two year old. They will do MORE crying at that time, than if you do it now. I would suggest you get them sleeping in their own beds asap...if you need the peace of mind either get a baby monitor...you can hear them breathing with those...or...you just put their crib in your room for the time being. TRUST ME...you will have a much easier time of it if you do it now. At one and two they can't understand WHY they can't 'do' things..they don't have the mental capacity to understand the reasons why they are now being forced to sleep elsewhere, when all they have known is sleeping with mommy.

Saragirl

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Posted: 04-28-08 21:07pm


i have the top of the line angel care monitor that actually measures the heart beats but i still dont feel comfortable. i know it will be harder in the long run, but like i said, at least later i will KNOW that she is crying for no other reason than because she wants my bed. thats why i will find it easier later.

susie3827

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Posted: 04-30-08 07:24am


Isn't that being a bit selfish? It would be easier for HER now...rather than later.

Marianne0558

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Posted: 04-30-08 07:36am


I think if you continue to let the baby sleep in your bed, you are only setting yourself up for difficult sleep routines later on. By the time the baby is 2 or 3, you're not going to want them in your bed anymore and it is going to be impossible to get them into their own. I would gradually move them to their own bed. We did this and it worked like a charm. First we put the baby next to our bed in her swing for a few nights. Then we moved the swing into her own room for a few nights. Next, we put her in her crib, and she has been there ever since. She'll be 2 in June and I've never had a problem getting her to go to bed.

meggan

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Posted: 05-01-08 13:39pm


everyone has their opinions. Many wont agree with you and you(as I) will definately not agree with others. Im one of the mothers who is super precautious and nervous when my child isnt around. Getting yourself used to it is the hardest part. My son slept in our room-bed at night til he was one. Naps and other play times he spent in his crib, with i in the room or not. So this way he never hated his crib or was scared. Once he was one we started to put him in his crib at night well until he woke up. When he awoke we placed him in our bed. Slowly we stopped doing our bed every time he awoke. We also got him used to a glow worm to hold when he went to bed. So this way he has a secure item in his crib that wasnt a bottle or a pacifer. Now he sleeps in his bed but he does occationally wake up, were i go in pat him to comfort and hes out. it takes time. do your comfort level. Some kids will be fine crying it out, and some like my son and myself as a kid could has anxiety issues. so be precautious and use YOUR best judgement what may work for one person might not be right for you. I learned that the hard way! Loving your child is the best thing.

ladylee70

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Posted: 05-01-08 16:20pm


I have found mant pros and cons. This is the reason why I chose to cosleep (read below). I am sure their is some other research that contradicts this. My child was in NICU and based on what this says along with other research, I choose to co sleep. My son stopped breathing twice in his sleep and I had to nudge him awake. Perhaps it was just a really long breath hold while he was sleeping??? I am still glad I was next to him. I know they have those angel monitors as well. I am HUGE into attachment parenting. I do believe there are certain things you must do before you decide to cosleep. We have a king size bed. We still don't sleep with pillows. The bed is against the wall so there is no gap. Our blanket only goes to our waists while brian is at the top of the bed. My husband and i seriously don't move in our aleep, ever, We are careful BUT it is now getting to be a safety issues because Brian can crawl out of bed, The transition is going to stink!! Nathan never coslept but he also didn't have the issues either. I really wish that I purchased the cosleeper that attaches to the bed. That does seem a little safer. I am on another forum where most of the woman cosleep. One lady rolled over on her baby when she was asleep and her baby died at two months. It could happen. We strongly believed in cosleeping due to Brian's issues when he was born and really did our best to make it safe. Here is the information. I don't know who did the study, sorry. Stable physiology Studies show that infants who sleep near to parents have more stable temperatures 2, regular heart rhythms, and fewer long pauses in breathing compared to babies who sleep alone 3. This means baby sleeps physiologically safer. Decreases risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome Worldwide research shows that the SIDS rate is lowest (and even unheard of) in countries where co-sleeping is the norm, rather than the exception 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. Babies who sleep either in or next to their parents’ bed have a fourfold decrease in the chance of SIDS 10. Co-sleeping babies actually spend more time sleeping on their back or side 1 which decreases the risk of SIDS. Further research shows that the carbon dioxide exhaled by a parent actually works to stimulate baby’s breathing 11.

ladylee70

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Posted: 05-01-08 16:22pm


A contradictory message is actually from the SIDS organization. They don't not condone cosleeping. It's best to get both sides of the story.

ammcmaho

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Posted: 05-06-08 17:25pm


ladylee, actually if you look at the actual statistics, those who cosleep and have problems with SIDS are generally under the influence of drugs, so it is best to practice SAFE cosleeping.

Marianne0558

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Posted: 05-07-08 07:04am


Where's the reference for that information, ammcmaho?

ammcmaho

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Posted: 05-07-08 08:34am


Here's a few: http://www.march ofdimes.com/pnhec/298_29656.asp (mixed reviews on "why" but points to smoking ht tp://pediatrics.jwatch.org/cgi/content/cit ation/2002/1112/3 - "There is firm evidence that maternal obesity and the use of tobacco, alcohol, or drugs in association with co-sleeping increases infant morbidity" h ttp://www.babyreference.com/Cosleeping%20i n%20the%20Media.htm Most of the world co-sleeps. Its a matter of doing it safely, not of putting the baby alone when he's been attached to you in the womb for the last 9 months.

StacyHoll

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Posted: 05-07-08 08:42am


Oh wow. Its not safe to sleep with an infant ever and right up to the age of 2 years old. A friend of mine slept with her baby, and the baby died because she rolled on top of the baby. While researching this after I read alot about the dangers. Higher infant mortaility rate, babies suffocating from pillows or sheets, babies getting trapped between the headborad and the wall and dieing. I would put the baby in a crib for there safety. If you're worried about safety get an angel monitor. I went to school for my ECE and learned there also never to sleep with a baby or toddler.

puppas911

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Posted: 05-07-08 08:58am


IT IS A BIG MISTAKE TO SLEEP WITH YOUR CHILD!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU AND YOUR CHILD WILL SUFFER DEARLY IN THE FUTURE. BREAK THE HABIT NOW. I HAVE THREE KIDS AND NONE OF THEM EVER SLEPT WITH ME. I HAVE NEVER REGRETED THAT DECISION.

ladylee70

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Posted: 05-08-08 23:28pm

ammcmaho wrote:

ladylee, actually if you look at the actual statistics, those who cosleep and have problems with SIDS are generally under the influence of drugs, so it is best to practice SAFE cosleeping.

I don't understand why you are saying this to me. I am a pro cosleeping I was just mentioning both sides. I am so confused why you directed this at me?? Very confused.

Why Why Why?? Did you even READ my first thread??? If you did, you would have never directed this at me. I am the biggest advocate for attachment parenting there is. My goodness.

ladylee70

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Posted: 05-08-08 23:36pm

StacyHoll wrote:

Oh wow.

Its not safe to sleep with an infant ever and right up to the age of 2 years old. A friend of mine slept with her baby, and the baby died because she rolled on top of the baby. While researching this after I read alot about the dangers. Higher infant mortaility rate, babies suffocating from pillows or sheets, babies getting trapped between the headborad and the wall and dieing. I would put the baby in a crib for there safety. If you're worried about safety get an angel monitor. I went to school for my ECE and learned there also never to sleep with a baby or toddler.

Just because you went to school to get your ECE doesn't make you the expert. Why bring that up?? I am a school psychologist and developmental psychologist ( post graduate degrees in both) but I am not bringing that up as claiming I am an expert in this area. Trying hard not to be rude here but really...it's great you went to school for that but it doesn't make you an expert.

There are pros and cons to cosleeping. I believe that you can set up the environment to be a safe one. I am into attachment parenting because that is my view. There are so many theories out there and beliefs along with so many statistics and you can pull studies out to support whatever view you hold. It is up to each of us to decide what we want to do. I just highly believe that you have to be safe.
We have done everything we can to be safe. You do get used to sleeping without pillows.

I am so sorry for you and your friends baby. I can see why you are so against cosleeping.

ladylee70

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Posted: 05-08-08 23:39pm

puppas911 wrote:

IT IS A BIG MISTAKE TO SLEEP WITH YOUR CHILD!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU AND YOUR CHILD WILL SUFFER DEARLY IN THE FUTURE. BREAK THE HABIT NOW. I HAVE THREE KIDS AND NONE OF THEM EVER SLEPT WITH ME. I HAVE NEVER REGRETED THAT DECISION.

Have to agree with how it the transition to crib or bed will be hard. We are starting that process now and it's really not fun - at all. We don't want to wait much longer because it will only get difficult through time.