I just found this forum and have been
reading most of the day. My last drink was
Tues around 7PM, I had three beers that
day. The Monday before, my husband and
I.... both long time heavy drinkers
decided to quit for a month to "give our
bodies a rest and lower our tolerance so
we can drink more healthy".... yeah, I
know that's a (sad) joke... but right now
I can't face life without EVER drinking
again. I'm on one day at a time, hoping to
make it a month. We drank three beers each
on Tues as a way to "ease in" to not
drinking at all. Monday we drank our usual
weekend/holiday amount, we split a case.
Other days, it's 8-9 beers per night.
Thankfully there has been no major
withdrawal so far. Some sweating at night
(but could be a hot flash-- yeah, I'm
having fun there too). Has it been long
enough that I am out of the woods as far
as physical withdrawal?
My problem is I like booze too much. I've
been a highly functional alcoholic for 25
years, same for my husband. I am 45, he is
47. We didn't hit a major rock bottom. We
just both know we are alcoholics. In the
last year we have talked about "cutting
down" (never happens) and I think we both
know-- we just can't keep drinking like
this. I can drink as much as he does and
he is 200 lbs and I am 130. I sometimes
wonder how this is even possible, but yes,
I can keep up with him and then some.
I read today from someone that a dull life
suddenly becomes technicolor and amazing
when drunk. That hit the nail right on the
head! I ask myself... WHY?? Why is it that
alcohol feels so good for me, yet some --
most... don't get that feeling at all. I
sometimes wonder if they did feel the
"joys of drinking" if they too would
become alcoholics... I just do not know.
I know that it scares me that life will
become dull and boring. I don't really
know what I am asking for here... I guess
I want to know, how does it feel to be
newly sober after many years? Do you still
think about and crave alcohol everyday?
PLEASE-- no God talks or AA talks right
now. I am not into either. I am not a
religious person, please don't judge that
as I am a good person, I just don't
believe in a "higher power". I don't mean
to offend anyone.
I'm just trying to make it through day 3
and get to day four. Can anyone who has
possibly been in my position or similar
has any advice I thank you in advance.
Maggie
|
youngalchy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 May 2008 Posts: 7
Posted: 05-30-08 14:23pm
For me withdrawal started 2 days after the
last drink, generally I've read it starts
24-48 hours after. Personally mine lasts
about a week with different symptoms. If
you find it too hard to get through you
can get, in my case, Ativan to help ease
the physical withdrawal
After about a week it's all up to your
mind, I'd really suggest getting a hobby
or something to fill the blank time you
now have because boredom is the quickest
way to get back on something you're trying
to quit. Try and be positive
General info : Stopping drinking cold
turkey can be fatal if you've been
drinking heavily for a while, I'd check
wikipedia.com for the more serious
symptoms if you feel things might be
getting rougher than they should.
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worrywart01
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 May 2008 Posts: 706 Location: ,
Thanks: 64
Thanked:8
Posted: 05-30-08 14:58pm
It is true that if you are a hard heavy
drinker if you stop cold turkey it could
be fatal, alcohol is a depressant and if
your body is used to coping with that
depressant on a daily basis and it is
abruptly taken away it can cause problems
with your CNS, it causes it to go into
overdrive and without that depressant
present your CNS stays in overdrive and it
can lead to seizures and possibly be
fatal...I think I saw this on Dr. G
medical examiner..LOVE that show..anyway,
maybe you should seek professional help so
you can safely cut down on the alcohol,
good luck to you and keep your head up
|
wonderingwoman
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 May 2008 Posts: 10
Posted: 05-30-08 15:31pm
Thanks for the responses. So far I'm not
having any major discomfort. Maybe I
should add that I started into menopause
and that is no cake walk. Night sweats,
hot flashes, low energy... I could be in
withdrawal and not realize it since these
meno symptoms have been going on for about
two years, and I've actually gotten used
to feeling like crap. Booze helped. I'm
not trying to make excuses, but it did. I
can't justify my alcoholism with self
medication excuses....
Anyway... just trying to get through the
day here. I already worked out, I guess I
will do some housework.
Here is what I don't like.... I am BORED.
No I won't drink. My husband will be home
soon and we made a deal.
Thanks for the support.
|
wonderingwoman
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 May 2008 Posts: 10
Posted: 05-30-08 17:12pm
Hey I'm back on here. I admit I really
wanted to drink earlier. I didn't
thankfully, what drove me is I didn't want
to disappoint my husband. I also don't
want to be the reason he won't "stay on
the wagon". I also don't want to hate
myself for not being able to do this. I
hate that I love this stuff. Ugh. I swear
if there were no negative side effects, I
wouldn't quit. I'm sorry you guys I just
get freaked because I am having a really
hard time imagining a sober life. Rather,
a happy sober life. Will I wake up every
day still wanting booze? A daily fight
doesn't seem like much to look forward to
and that depresses me.
Well, we usually go out to the bar to get
drinks and food on Friday's, but we are
staying home and rented a movie. I can
tell my husband is slight on edge... kind
of like me today, but it's not too bad, my
earlier urge to drink seems to have
passed.
Oh, I want to admit. We both smoke weed
too. We have not quit that, only cut down,
and I guess you could say using to help
with the edge. I do not plan on stopping
weed-- only cutting down because I could
not handle stopping both of my habits at
once. I can't
Thanks for listening...
Thanks for listening.
|
youngalchy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 May 2008 Posts: 7
Posted: 05-30-08 19:56pm
As far as I know from personal experience
weed is the SAFEST vice to have, compared
to pills etc. I think, like me you'll
probably just forget about drinking after
a while. Some things like a friday night
definately make you think about it but for
the most part it gets to be alright. Just
gotta get your mind off of it
|
wonderingwoman
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 May 2008 Posts: 10
Posted: 05-31-08 10:34am
Thanks for the response. How long did it
take you to forget about drinking? I long
for a day when I don't care about or think
about booze.
It's a beautiful day here (another
trigger, actually everything is a trigger
because we drank everyday, just more on
weekends). I already know that my biggest
issue is going to be getting used to not
drinking. Sounds simple.... but it is not.
Not yet anyway. But something good I'm
noticing even in this early stage is I'm
aware that I have more clarity of thought,
and I like that. Plus even though I'm only
on day four I feel proud of myself and my
husband. I think that is something I could
only admit on a addiction forum. In fact
it feels so good I want to have that
feeling tomorrow too. If I can get through
the weekend then Monday will be easier...
I think (hope)... and I know I'm not going
to drink today.
It is very helpful to me that my husband
is so determined also. In fact I know he
is watching what I do. Yesterday I almost
got mad at him because when he came in
from work I was in the kitchen getting
some things ready for dinner and I had a
glass of water in a red glass sitting
there with just a little left, maybe 1/4.
Well after we chatted and he went to take
a shower, he picked up that glass and took
a swig before he went upstaires. Normally
he would never do that. Didn't say
anything... but I know he was checking for
booze (next to beer I like vodka). At
first I was mad... like he didn't trust
me, but then before I started a fight
about it, I realized I'm GLAD he is
watching and I let it go. We had a pretty
nice dinner and then watched a movie. We
are staying home today/tonight too. In my
mind I'm starting to call this
"self-imposed rehab"... but it has to be.
ps- am I going nuts or did the title of my
first post change?
|
wonderingwoman
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 May 2008 Posts: 10
Posted: 06-01-08 10:40am
Now I'm on day five. I guess this forum
doesn't get too much action. Oh well. If
anybody comes along and reads this....
It's possible, even after long term heavy
drinking to stop and make it to at least
day 5.... in my experience.
|
seefigure68
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Aug 2007 Posts: 31 Location: Texas
Posted: 06-01-08 19:19pm
Well as far as Im concerned having
support, such as your husband, to keep you
on track is the biggest necessity. What
always happens to me is I go 2 weeks
sober, feel like a confident badass, plus
this time really helps me start feeling
better physically, and then a reason pops
up and bam! I have a beer in hand. This
happens most often when I don't have
someone on my case to make sure I don't
drink. If I have a rock solid person to
hold me accountable, I usually stay sober.
So make sure you don't dissappoint your
husband, make sure he doesn't dissappoint
you, and I'd say yall are on the road to
recovery. Be careful if you do go 1 month
sober, remember how hard it was to quit,
and think about having to do it all over
again if you decide to start drinking
again. Good luck!
|
wonderingwoman
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 May 2008 Posts: 10
Posted: 06-01-08 19:45pm
Hey thanks so much for the response. Yes,
my husband has been a big help. He golfed
today and didn't drink. That is huge...
you have no idea. I was proud of him and
I'm sure he was proud of himself too. It's
weird we don't really talk about it
much.... we're just doing it. At times we
both get a bit edgy, and I think that's
when cravings hit... at least for me. I
had about three today. I literally sat
there breathing waiting for it to pass. I
hope these cravings are part of detox and
will start to go away. Can anyone give me
some insight on that?
I think I am doing okay. I am smoking a
little bit of weed to help with the edge.
So is my husband but we are limiting to a
smaller amount. I remember going through
much more when drinking.
We watched another movie tonight after I
made a pretty good dinner. Funny I've been
cooking great ever since I stopped too. I
can only assume my long term drinking had
to have been bad for my body so in a way I
am trying to be extra healthy.... for both
of us.
I'm glad it is almost bed time.... I am
tired and glad I will wake up tomorrow
with another day with no booze behind me.
|
harmony1
Supporter
Joined: 18 May 2008 Posts: 375 Location: , Australia
Thanks: 27
Thanked:13
Doing great. Posted: 06-01-08 20:20pm
Sounds like you're on the road to
recovery. Something you should both be
really proud of. My only advice would be
just keep doing what you're doing. you're
doing great. Just take it
one..day..at..a..time..
|
worrywart01
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 May 2008 Posts: 706 Location: ,
Thanks: 64
Thanked:8
Posted: 06-01-08 23:34pm
keep it up good for you!make sure you've
gotten rid of everything in the house so
you dont walk by, see it and get that
temptation again! maybe you could start
working out to relieve your frustrations,
its a good way to get things out of your
system and get you healthy! plus you'll
feel much more relaxed when you sleep at
night
|
wonderingwoman
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 May 2008 Posts: 10
Posted: 06-02-08 07:27am
Hey it was great to see the messages this
morning, thank you to you both. I'm glad
to wake up to day 6. I haven't gone this
long without drinking in YEARS.
Yeah, I've been working out and it does
help A LOT. I was working out before too,
but my efforts were rather lame and
inconsistent.... because as I'm seeing, I
was hung over and didn't feel like it. It
is much easier with no hangover, I've been
consistent every day so far. It helps with
that edge too. I need to put that on my
list of reasons not to drink. I've been
trying to get rid of a little pouch gut I
got going into early menopause, now I'm
thinking I can maybe do it. The amount of
beer calories I was consuming in a day --
well... 900 or so. DAILY. Such madness.
Maybe I should put "look better in bathing
suit" on the list too.
Since I've started this, mornings are the
best time of day. Now, as the day creeps
on, it gets hard, but man it is nice to
wake up without that alcohol fog.
To anyone reading... have a good day and
if you are drinking and want to stop, even
for a short time-- if you are afraid to
consider long term sobriety-- but maybe
want to see what you can do one day at a
time, join me here and we can help each
other.
Maggie
|
wonderingwoman
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 May 2008 Posts: 10
Posted: 06-02-08 07:32am
seefigure68
wrote:
This happens most often
when I don't have someone on my case to
make sure I don't drink. If I have a rock
solid person to hold me accountable, I
usually stay sober.
Hey SF68.... I thought about this
yesterday when I read your post.. but
didn't say anything, because I far from
consider myself rock soild, but decided to
tell you today, that I will try to keep
you accountable with daily postings... if
you would like.
|
wonderingwoman
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 May 2008 Posts: 10
Posted: 06-02-08 17:51pm
I'm still on day 6, another nice dinner...
now another movie. It's getting to be our
routine. We have been spending time
outside too, as we live on a lake and we
are having some nice weather. I'm noticing
the day seems longer sober. Not in a bad
way.... in a way that makes me realize how
booze steals memories.
I had some cravings when we were outside.
The whole summer time party thing. It was
like I heard this voice in my head say in
a month you can have a nice cold beer and
forget this self imposed rehab stuff. It
passed. I'm just glad it passed.
|
harmony1
Supporter
Joined: 18 May 2008 Posts: 375 Location: , Australia
Thanks: 27
Thanked:13
Posted: 06-02-08 21:53pm
wonderingwoman
wrote:
Hey it was great to see the
messages this morning, thank you to you
both. I'm glad to wake up to day 6. I
haven't gone this long without drinking in
YEARS.
Yeah, I've been working out and it does
help A LOT. I was working out before too,
but my efforts were rather lame and
inconsistent.... because as I'm seeing, I
was hung over and didn't feel like it. It
is much easier with no hangover, I've been
consistent every day so far. It helps with
that edge too. I need to put that on my
list of reasons not to drink. I've been
trying to get rid of a little pouch gut I
got going into early menopause, now I'm
thinking I can maybe do it. The amount of
beer calories I was consuming in a day --
well... 900 or so. DAILY. Such madness.
Maybe I should put "look better in bathing
suit" on the list too.
Since I've started this, mornings are the
best time of day. Now, as the day creeps
on, it gets hard, but man it is nice to
wake up without that alcohol fog.
To anyone reading... have a good day and
if you are drinking and want to stop, even
for a short time-- if you are afraid to
consider long term sobriety-- but maybe
want to see what you can do one day at a
time, join me here and we can help each
other.
Maggie
You're really doing great & staying
very positive at the same time.
Keep up the great work. You're a champion
|
jilleysue
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jul 2008 Posts: 2
Posted: 07-01-08 12:01pm
Maggie,
Where are you?
|
CarolDiane
Supporter
Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 2396
Thanks: 111
Thanked:156
Daily up-dates log Posted: 07-01-08 15:32pm
That is a wonderful idea. Letting us help
being part of you support group is a major
step in the right direction. YOU are going
to make it. But, try and remamber, you are
doing this for no one but yourself. Once
you start trying to do it for others,
begins a long chanllenging road for you.
YOU are the important one here. Your
husbank should join in with us also. YOU,
are on the path to a sober and healthier
lifestyle. BRAVO! One day at a time is the
way to go. You and your husband can be an
asset to each other for support at home.
Just always know that as a group that has
probably been through it, we are all here
for you 24/7. I know, I myself and others
are on the board even in the wee hours of
the morning. ehealth has become so much a
part of our lives. You have just joined
not only a message board but, an extended
family that cares about you and you
health. We want you around a long time
with us here. You can still be part of
this family after you have been sober for
15 years.
