I'm going to give you my whole story cause
I need to let it out. My name is Paul and
I've takin pain medicine for the last 6 or
7 years. It used to be just Codeine
Aspirins when I was younger. Then I got in
a car accident a few years ago and my
addictions have spiraled out of control
and I'm afraid I'm going to OD one of
these days. I have constant back pain but
I'm not sure if its the pain killers or
the accident that is currently causing the
pain. I took Vicodens for the 1st year and
have been battleing to stay off of them
ever since. I have a history of depression
(I've been taking Cybalta for it for 4
years) and anxiety problems (I've been
taking Zanax for 2 years). I haven't taken
any Vicodens for a few weeks now. I tried
taking Tramadols instead of Vicodens cause
they're not as strong but I found myself
taking 12-14 of them a day so I figured I
should try another pain med. Here is what
I currently take every single day - 6 or 7
650 MG Darvocets, 1 Cymbalta, 4 or 5 750
MG Methocarbamol's (a muscle relaxor), 1
or 2 Zanax's, and 1 Flexeril 10 MG so I
can go to bed at night. I also take Nexium
cause my stomach's messed up from taking
all of this crap. I have severe back pain
all the time now even when I'm taking all
of this medicine. In the last few weeks
I've been getting really nervous that I'm
going to accidentaly OD but I don't know
how to stop. I've taken some kind of pain
killer everyday for the past 7 years. I've
tried stopping at least 5 or 6 times but
never make it more than a few days. I've
talked to my doctor about how I didn't
want to take the Vicodens anymore so he
gave me a prescription for the Tramadols.
Those never got rid of the pain so I've
been taking a mixture of muscle relaxors
and Darvocet's everyday to numb the pain.
I really, truly want and need to stop
before something bad happens. This morning
I missed my Godson's 3rd birthday cause I
was uncontrollably crying all morning and
didn't want to cry in front of my family.
I have lost my relationship with my
parents cause of my addiction and I am not
there to see my neice and nephew grow up
because I stay in my apartment and take
pills every second I'm not at work. I
can't go into detox or rehab cause I can't
miss any work cause I used up all of my
sick and vacation time for the car
accident. I NEED to stop but dont' know
how or what my next step should be. Please
help me. I need someone to talk to about
this but have no one I can. Thank You.
