Is it actual tearing or is it just very sore? I'm prone to getting bad thrush, especially during pregnancy, which causes a lot of soreness in the areas you described. I recommend seeing your doctor or midwife & getting it treated as soon as possible.. I lived with thrush for several months because I was too embarrassed to see a doctor & it was terrible.

Is this your first pregnancy or could the tearing be because of previous damage done during childbirth?

thanks for getting back, i know i was embarrassed before but its gone on so long now! yeah its my first pregnancy, its actually tearing, i think its either due to it being so swollen at times or itching. Im seeing my midwife wednesday so will see what she thinks, I thought at first it may have been the pressure of the baby or varicose veins.
we'll see, thanks again