This has got to stop

I am now 29 and again still single one girl that I have been seeing for a little over a month but she never here out on the road all the time and anytime I try to express any sort of feelings to her she pulls back. I haven't told about my lack of experience because when I alluded to it once she was all taken aback by it. I feel things for her but the way she acts when I let those feelings out makes me feel like those feelings are wrong or out of place. I think that part of it is that my actions are telling her I have never been with a woman really and she is not liking this. I mean she has even been engaged like every other girl I meet I have nothing to compare it to or relate it to or anything. I feel like worst then ever with this one, can't go forward it seems and don't feel like I have time to keep looking or something. I feel like the only solution may be for all this to end, I am just getting to point where simple existence is too much to deal with I can't let anyone else know how I am feeling because then they will know what I haven't done in my past. This is starting to not only effect my personal life but my work life too. I can't find a solution to any of this other then an end to all of it.

Its almost funny I crashed my motorcycle about a week ago and quite honestly what pissed me off the most was that I survived. I really wish it had done me in and then all this would be taken care of.