For a long time now I've always wanted to
have sex with guys at the same time, I'm
not sure why it's such a turn on but it
is. I have a weakness for black men so
that would be ideal. Luckily for me my
husband thinks this is hot as well. I'm
wondering if anyone else may have this
fantasy or acted upon it. How was it?
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
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Posted: 04-04-08 09:22am
Millions of people have this fantasy, it's
very common. Just make sure the partners
have a recent STD test that they can show
to you to prove they are clean.
its ok but yes like erie said make sure
they have been tested and use condoms
after you get a hang on where everyone
should be it is allll good after that
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jodie 16
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Aug 2007 Posts: 246 Location: south wales, wales
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Understand Posted: 04-20-08 08:42am
I Dont Understand Where The Word Love Come
In to These Things
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Maddie34
Moderator
Joined: 06 Oct 2007 Posts: 1175 Location: ,
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Posted: 04-21-08 18:46pm
Did anyone say anything about love?
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Dreadmuse
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Apr 2008 Posts: 13 Location: St. Petersburg, fl usa
Posted: 04-22-08 15:55pm
Ahhh.... here is the ultimate decision...
When you play in this arena, you must have
rules set out.
There is no room for jealousy in any sort
of "open" life style. Jealousy will
destroy your marriage (relationship) in
that sort of fertile ground. That being
said...
Talk it over with your partner, get down
any restrictions they may have, any
restrictions you may have... if something
doesn't feel right... stop...
If you do go through with it... discuss it
openly. Remember that it is still your
partner's right to say that they do not
like it... but it is pandora's box. Once
you open the box leading to an alternative
lifestyle... it could be hard, if not
impossible to shut.
Just talk to your partner a great deal...
perhaps you should start off with some
light petting and make out sessions...
maybe get involved with swinger groups in
your area... there are some that are very
respectful to those that are new, and not
sure if it is what they want.
Just some things to think about...
Good luck...
The Dreadful Muse
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jodie 16
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Aug 2007 Posts: 246 Location: south wales, wales
it seems like the entire
world is basing their lives off getting
our self esteem up by getting someone in
bed with us. or by letting other people
ruin what we were meant to be to just
enjoy ourselves for one hour when we have
an entire life to live with what it
brings. doing things like this just brings
a whole mess of unwanted issues and
problems. but they think its worth it to
spread their legs and let the whole world
in. Learn to make a difference people.
dont do things purely out of selfishness
and being weakhearted. maybe try to help
the world get better instead of passing
the disease you
spread.
boyfriend had this fantasy..got a big NO
NO NO from me...i was a virgin before him,
not the type to wanna mess around with
alot of guys, the only reason he got any
tlc is because i truly care about him and
love him and i'm not one to believe sex is
such a casual thing to be shared with
everyone. Its special and intimate and
nothing I would ever want to share with
anyone else...it pains me to not be able
to fullfill every fantasy that he has, but
I respect myself too much to do anything I
would ultimately regret for the rest of my
life, not to mention since its something I
do feel so strongly about, the fact that i
was "pushed" or coerced into it would ruin
the relationship..which is not something
Im trying to do...I've never been with
another man..nor do i care to...hes gotten
over it and would rather sacrafice his
fantasy than end the relationship...of
course...it could have been just that...a
fantasy..nothing he meant to really have
come true...i'm not saying you shouldn't
want this or shouldn't do it..everyone has
their opinions about sex and if this is
something you and your husband wish to
do..then by all means go for it..just make
sure you've thoroughly discussed
everything..as was stated earlier jealousy
and lack of trust can ruin a
relationship...
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Maddie34
Moderator
Joined: 06 Oct 2007 Posts: 1175 Location: ,
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Posted: 05-16-08 10:39am
I personnally would never have a
threesome, however I feel like someone's
choice to have one doesn't particularly
make them selfish, weakhearted, or
diseased.
In my eyes, safe sex should apply to any
sex. People need to be tested and condoms
need to be used, simple as that. And what
a person wants to do in the bedroom
shouldn't be up for speculation unless its
harmful to any partner involved.
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Biani
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2008 Posts: 159 Location: ,
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Posted: 05-16-08 10:56am
Well, i don't know. I agree with
PlacidIntricacy too. I think that in a
LOVE relationship threesomes and etc...
just don't go. I remember i was totally
crushed when my bf told me he would like
to have a threesome. And/or sleep with
other girls. He said he just didn't cause
he knew if he did he would lose me. Well,
duh. I'm guessing if i did the same thing
he would have sent me packing too. The
thing is, i didn't even THINK about that
sort of thing... i wanted to be with ONLY
him... he was more than enough, you know?
and it totally killed me that he didn't
feel the same. A while later, i find out
he's not 'in love' with me, but 'cares'
for me. So i guess that explains it.
So, in my book, when two people LOVE
eachother, there's no need to add a third
person to the relationship like this. To
me, it means that you're still looking
outside it cause it isn't enough for you.
So that can't be good for the
relationship!
But, there are people who swear they love
their partner and cheat on them, or have
threesomes... i don't know how that works,
but oh well. It's a free world. I just
don't understand that point of view
myself.
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worrywart01
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 May 2008 Posts: 425 Location: ,
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Posted: 05-16-08 11:10am
biani....completely agree...when i found
out my bf wanted another guy i was crushed
as well..like...you wanna share me with
some other guy? thats ok to you to watch
another guy doing things with me thats
supposed to me intimate and only between
me and you??? like..if that were a girl..o
HELL no! I would never want another girl
to touch him!!! ever! and to just think
that he could so easily share me just
bugged me..alot..like..what i gave to was
big for me...it was a big deal to me..and
you're asking me to share it? when you're
the only guy i've ever been with?.....it
still bugs me to this day to think about
it...but we've worked through it and it
hasn't been brought up again..so far...in
my opinion..i just dont see how you can
share someone you love...i dont know..for
me it doesn't work..for others if its fine
then i'm not gonna be judgemental it just
does not work for me in that way...i want
one guy...and i want him to want just
me...and that be enough...i mean..is our
sex life really that boring that you have
to bring in another guy?...thats just how
i see it..like..what am i doing
wrong...what do i need to do to spice
things up without adding another person
into the mix...
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Maddie34
Moderator
Joined: 06 Oct 2007 Posts: 1175 Location: ,
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online
Posted: 05-16-08 11:11am
I understand what you're saying. I
wouldn't have a threesome for that reason,
but whatever someone wants to do in the
bedroom for whatever reason isn't really
my business.
I'm not really going to speculate on love
so much. I know how I see things, but I
also know others can see things
differently. As long as people are safe
and don't get hurt then who am I to say
what's right or wrong?
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TehLonelyZ
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Nov 2007 Posts: 3 Location: Escondido, Calfornia United States
Posted: 05-16-08 11:26am
first of all love can be seen as something
completely different by people some thing
its being with just one person, another
person could think its making commitment
or being with someone who just wants to
share experiences with you due to same
interest or w.e anyways the word love came
into this when she told her husband and
they talked about it. they both probably
came to an understanding and thats their
view of love to be able to share things
together. you have no right to say she or
anyone has a disease and how are they
spreading it? also i think its selfish
that you should imply that she should not
do something she is curious about and do
something completely different. self
esteem and fantasies have nothing to do
with each other. i think if you want
something go for it live life to the
fullest. also just cause you have a
threesome doesnt mean your spreading your
legs and letting the whole world in. don't
listen to that guy do what you want no one
can judge you. if anything i respect you
for doing something that many fear of
doing. sex is sex if you dont want to do a
threesome then dont, if you do then do it.
everyone thinks differently and everyone
feels differently. and hey if all else
fails flip a coin (jk about the coin thing
lol just trying to make things a bit more
laid back)
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worrywart01
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 May 2008 Posts: 425 Location: ,
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Posted: 05-16-08 23:10pm
im not objecting anyone elses decision to
do it, and i understand that point of
view...how people can come to that
understanding and "share" experiences like
that..i'm just saying for me it'd ruin the
relationship...i just couldn't do it
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Asifk
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Apr 2008 Posts: 1
Hi Posted: 05-20-08 03:11am
I m interested. call me.. if u can.. or
let me call u
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worrywart01
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 May 2008 Posts: 425 Location: ,
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Posted: 05-20-08 14:48pm
so..i jinxed myself by saying the bf
hadn't brought it up since the first
time...well, he brought it up last
night...still interested..though i dont
think its anything I could ever be up
for...i mean, even if i did do it...what
would happen afterwards? he would never
have the same respect for me..and i'm sure
now that if I did go through with it, the
fact that I was with another guy would
make him paranoid about me cheating...i
just dont see how it could benefit the
relationship in any way...sometimes i wish
i were alittle more open..sexually, to
trying new things...i'm just so old
fashioned i guess? i wish I didn't have a
problem with it sometimes, i just dont
share my body, i'm a very private
person.........i guess when I think about
it, i've always thought that any guy i was
with would cherish and respect that I gave
myself to him..like...its a very big deal
to me...and to have him wanna share that
intimacy makes me question his love for
me....like..in my opinion..if he loved me
as much as i love him..it would kill me to
see him with another woman...really...so
i'm trying to understand but i'm really
not getting it......
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Biani
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2008 Posts: 159 Location: ,
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Posted: 05-20-08 17:19pm
Well, your bf is strange, worrywart... my
xbf wanted a threesome but him with 2
girls. At the thought of him and another
guy, he said eew. And he was always so
paranoid about me and other guys, and
hated that i had been intimate with the
xbf before him. So, i didn't get it
either.
I don't think there's anything wrong with
how you feel, even if you think you're
'old fashioned'. We just see sex as
something that should be between two
people who love eachother. If others view
it as a hobby and do it with whoever...
well that's them. I guess we just gotta
find someone who sees things our way too,
and let the people who can share their
partners sexually be couples amongst
themselves. That way everyone would be
happy.
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worrywart01
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 May 2008 Posts: 425 Location: ,
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Posted: 05-22-08 00:16am
believe it or not there are alot of guys
out there with this fantasy...trust me i
was just as surprised as you but he isn't
weird in any way...i guess I can
understand how he would have this fantasy
and i dont care that its a fantasy but i
dont want it to go beyond that...theres a
big difference between thinking about
something and actually wanting it to come
true and i just never want that to come
true..but i could see at the same time
why he might like it, it isn't because
he's gay in any way..its not like he wants
the guy or wants to look at the guy its
just that he wants to see me doing things?
i was angry when i heard this at first
but, i mean, this is something personal
he's never shared with anyone else so its
cool that hes so open to tell me these
things but..at the same time hes gotta
respect my decisions...
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Biani
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2008 Posts: 159 Location: ,
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Posted: 05-22-08 10:52am
yeah, well, there is a difference between
just a mere 'fantasy' and knowing you
would never actually go through with it.
But, in the case of my bf, he said he
totally would do it, he was just holding
back cause he knows i would dump him. But
if it was only up to him, he would be
having sex with every girl he wanted. And,
he told me every guy is like this, that
the ones who say they want to be with only
you, are lying.
You gotta love them for being so honest,
though, right?
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