oh i get what you mean haha, but he wants
to see me like..doing stuff with a guy not
just to myself...trust me I've suggested
just about everything I could to help him
out haha..i think its just a turn on to
him to see that another guy wants me and
is turned on by me and stuff like that
too...and he wants to watch it...so...oh
well..no deal...not goin there...am i such
a prude really? that I just want my one
guy? honest to god you could throw brad
pitt naked in a room with me and i
wouldn't touch him(in that way...a hug or
two would be nice haha) i can look at
the hottest guy and not "want" him in that
way..i'll look him over of course haha
looking never hurts but as far as wanting
him, i just dont...maybe i'm just
weird...or maybe its just because I was a
virgin before this guy that i dont know
any different...nor do i have any interest
in knowing any different! i've never done
ANYTHING other than kiss with any other
guy(besides this one)...and i'm 21...and i
just dont have any interest in other
"sizes or shapes" "it" may come
it...haha...yea..ok
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love_pinkish
Supporter
Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 711 Location: Hot, LA USA
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Posted: 05-24-08 18:19pm
why would he want you to sleep with
another guy and watch you? that's just
not right in my eyes. I mean ya'll two
should be commited to each other!
Hotmom is married and they want to sleep
with other people. That is just crazy
when you've made a legal commitment.
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JACK37
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jan 2008 Posts: 28 Location: ,
Have fun Posted: 05-24-08 18:30pm
all Men like threesome but don't want to
say it. They don't want you to get mad.
But they do not want you to find the other
guy;. They want to pick him out. And do
not pick some one you both know or will
see again. That could be a problem. Go
on a little Cruise or vacation and do it.
You will both have fun and still be happy.
It not a big deal. Tell him you are
doing this for him and him only. And when
he wants to stop, just stop. Make sure
he cums last. Let the new guy get off
first. Have fun.
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worrywart01
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Posted: 05-24-08 19:05pm
i dont want to be used by some other
guy...thats what I consider it..if he
picks a random guy that neither of us
know..basically the guy is using me...and
if he's using me..i'd feel trashy because
i was raised not to take sex as a casual
thing..its a love thing, when you love
someone you share yourself as an act of
love...if I let a guy, that I dont
know...have something that only he and I
are supposed to share, that i waited 20
years to give up...what the hell makes it
so special now? he should feel special,
that out of every guy ive dated HES the
one I chose to give it to...and now..i
waited to share it with a guy I fell in
love with only to share it with everyone
else? why did i wa/t..if i didn't have
these morals, I sure as hell wouldn't have
been a virgin before I met him...trust me,
there are PLENTY of guys before him that I
wanted to be with...but i didn't becuase
of the fact that I didn't have those
feelings there....so, whats the point
now...i feel like he doesn't value it the
way i do and inviting another man into the
bedroom is only asking for trouble
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Roberta777
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Sex Is A Mind Game Posted: 05-25-08 14:22pm
Part of the excitment of having sex with
somebody is the visual aspect of seeing
and sharing that other person.
To go one step further, is to be the one
in control watching you play out the
sexual fantasy scene. It is called
voyeurism, and I can see where it could
be stimulating and in a sense dangerous.
Different strokes for different folks.
You are still a very young woman. Never
put yourself into a position that you are
uncomfortable with.
And, remember, men love to talk. My
former BF loved nothing more than to talk
mostly about himself and sometimes about
trying to seduce my Godson's mother down
here for a threesome. What in the world
would he do with two women? He had this
big fantasy built up in his mind about
being with the two of us. She is a great
friend and played along to the extent of
coming down to visit me. But, never would
she be with a guy like him. She is into
black guys. Both of her sons are born of
African American fathers.
He was over here the other day and asked
when she is coming down. Still in the
back of his mind even though we broke up a
long time ago and he now lives with a
woman old enough to be his mother. Still
not enough for him. I have told him what
makes him think my GF would be interested
in having sex with him, even in a
threesome, now that I am HPV positive with
the high risk types. He is unable to
comprehend what that means.
So, talking about it to your BF may just
be a sexual game that turns him on.
Nothing wrong with that, but as others
have said, taking the next step in another
matter.
Take care.
Bobbie
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lonestarguy
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Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 592 Location: , Hoosierland, USA
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Posted: 05-25-08 14:34pm
I believe that the OP has the right
idea....and Bobbie was right, don't go
along with someone else's fantasy if
you're not comfortable with it....I do see
that the real problem is trying to avoid
hurting your guy's feelings because he
keeps going on and on about a
threesome....There is no easy way to burst
someone's fantasy bubble, but that's what
has to be done....Just tell him that are
some things that you will not do and a
threesome is one....I'm not sure every man
wants a threesome, but it doesn't
matter....A relationship requires give and
take and constant adjustments, so start
setting some ground rules....If he loves
you, he won't force you to do something
you're uncomfortable with. If he does,
then maybe he's not the one for you.
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worrywart01
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Posted: 05-25-08 15:51pm
lonestarguy
wrote:
I believe that the OP has
the right idea....and Bobbie was right,
don't go along with someone else's fantasy
if you're not comfortable with it....I do
see that the real problem is trying to
avoid hurting your guy's feelings because
he keeps going on and on about a
threesome....There is no easy way to burst
someone's fantasy bubble, but that's what
has to be done....Just tell him that are
some things that you will not do and a
threesome is one....I'm not sure every man
wants a threesome, but it doesn't
matter....A relationship requires give and
take and constant adjustments, so start
setting some ground rules....If he loves
you, he won't force you to do something
you're uncomfortable with. If he does,
then maybe he's not the one for
you.
exactly..thank you, relationships are
about compromise, give and receive and
respect and trust...and if there were
something I were interested in, that he
were umcomfortable with, i love him enough
that that would be ok..i'd get over it,
maybe its something we could revisit later
on in the future, and its not like he's
nagging about it, he just likes to throw
it out there randomly every now and
again...see if my opinions have changed
haha
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PlacidIntricacy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Apr 2008 Posts: 76 Location: Ohio, 43566 USA
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hmm Posted: 05-25-08 15:52pm
i dissagree jack. i would not like a 3some
at all. i like intimacy kept between me
and one person. (hopefully for the rest of
my life) however thats highly unlikely.
but i still just want her. and no one else
involved.
yeah. i would say dont do it. but i dont
wanna tell you what to do.
i just know i wouldn't. pretty much no
matter what. unless someone was waving
like 2 million dollars in my face... i
miiiiight just want to.
if you aren't comfortable, its not right.
theres basic logic our mind has set for
us. LISTEN TO IT!
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Maddie34
Moderator
Joined: 06 Oct 2007 Posts: 1450 Location: ,
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Posted: 05-25-08 18:47pm
Split from Women's chat so the guys can
give their input
|
diamondsz
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Joined: 07 Oct 2005 Posts: 3173 Location: , Candyland-Canada
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Posted: 05-29-08 13:05pm
Alot of people have threesomes on their
mind, I do as well but it just doesnt feel
right, just not with two guys. Im bi and
I have a tendancy to be sexually attracted
to woman over men, Im just repulsed by the
majority.
Anyways my point is how can we deem a
normal relationship as being only two
people, what is normal and how do you
define it?
The only question you need to ask yourself
are you comfortable with it? sometimes in
a relationship you have to compromise but
only if you feel comfortable. Never do
anything against your will, you will hate
it afterwards it always turns into
amniosity.
i think you should only do what you wanna do Posted: 05-29-08 16:00pm
if he wants you to and you dont then dont
do it but if you want to as well then go
for it
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WolfyLady
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Joined: 08 May 2007 Posts: 81 Location: Oregon
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Posted: 06-01-08 07:12am
Ok i COMPLETELY know how you feel.. My
current boyfriend was my first and as a
joke one night i asked him what one of his
fantasties were and he said he didnt
know.. and i started naming things off and
threesome came up.. he said wow now thats
something.. i felt HORRIBLE it was just a
joke to me but he actually went out
looking for other guys..(hes bi curious
btw) anyways the one he found and liked
made my skin crawl so i said NO way.. hes
been kinda blah towards me since he
dropped it but then about 6 months ago
asked again finding another guy i didnt
mind this one but ugh he didnt like him go
figure.. But then i realized i didnt want
to be with anyone else and it hurt so bad
to even think about seeing him with
another person so again i said no way i
cant do that sorry.. Hes been the same it
sucks.. but yea i know what you mean
firsts are always hard and no one seems to
compare.. i dont give a crap about anyone
elses dicks infact i hate when guys show
me i'm like so what.. its just a dick and
go to thinking about my guys.. or i ignore
that person sometimes.. Just dont let him
pressure you into anything i was also your
age when i was with my guy for the first
time.. we've been together 2 years now..
so if you dont feel comfortable with it
tell him he should take your feelings into
account.. firsts are the most special
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worrywart01
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Posted: 06-01-08 23:25pm
yea..it'll be 2 years for us in 2
weeks...i really have no interest in other
guys, i mean..i look obviously..you cant
not look but...i never wonder what it
would be like in bed with them or w/e...it
just really doesn't cross my mind or
interest me...but, we always talk through
it, the only time he really brings it up
is when he's really excited or sometimes
when he's drunk...maybe he thinks if I
"loosen up" with alcohol i'll give
in....noooo way...i really honestly dont
believe in casual sex i'm way too
emotional and dont take sharing my body
lightly...hes lucky hes gettin any
himself! I'm a southern baptist and was
taught to wait until marriage...up until
him i was doing just fine! haha
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WolfyLady
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 May 2007 Posts: 81 Location: Oregon
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Posted: 06-02-08 01:39am
Congrats. I understand what ya mean. I
look but i dont think about that either..
just want to be with him. Well if he keeps
pressuring you maybe you should cut him
off.. hehe i know what you mean i was
doing pretty well too but something i
dunno what it is but.. i wanted to be with
him.
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Roberta777
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There You Go Right There Young Lady Posted: 06-03-08 20:48pm
For your BF to believe you getting sauced
and him too will get you in the mood is
totally ridiculous. That is how people
find themselves in real trouble with
STD's.
I don't think there really is such a thing
as casual sex. Some people may think that
there is, but in the back of your mind,
you are going to be wanting more than just
a casual liasion.
You are a really nice girl, anyone can see
that by your honest postings. Just don't
let this guy sway you into a lifestyle
that could change your life forever.
All of us have had a first time. Most are
only that. Give yourself the time to grow
into the beautiful woman that you are
destined to become.
Take care,
Bobbie
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worrywart01
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Posted: 06-03-08 21:13pm
I dont believe in casual sex either...i
understand some people may be able to do
that...but i know me...and i'm a very
emotional person and i just cant
simply detach love from sex..for me it
goes hand in hand, its a way of showing
love, and i cant just simply share that
with another man that I have nothing
with...
thank you roberta for your post and trust
me, I'm very stubborn like my mother haha,
once i've made up my mind i cannot be
swayed and i understand
that if he DOES love me like I love him,
he wouldn't pressure me to do it...which
like I said, very very rarely does he
bring it up, so i guess hes fine with just
me for now!
You know, i always thought that a guy
would feel special to be the "first" you
know...and to know that I chose him, and I
haven't been with another guy, it just
surprised me when he asked me to share
that...you're my first and only, and
you're asking me to share myself? Guys
are....confusing....
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Roberta777
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Yes, You Are Right Posted: 06-04-08 12:35pm
men are confusing and are often times
confused about what they want. They do
not love in the same manner as women do.
Women do love completely, body and soul
when they love. For men, they detach love
from sex. It sometimes becomes just sex
for them. Some cannot let a woman into
their hearts and souls. I know, sadly
from my experience with someone I loved
completely. I would have done anything
for him but not the threesome thing. He
too used to pester me about it. He was
totally into the thing, or, at least, the
idea of doing it. Would look happy as a
lark and his face would light up like a
Christmas tree when he talked about it.
Even after we had broken up last year, he
was still asking about my GF coming down.
He still had that in the back of his wee
brain even though he is living with
another woman who does everything for him.
Maybe he should ask her.
You never forget your first time. I
remember everything about it.
Stick to your guns and your BF will only
respect you all the more.
Bobbie
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2eatoria
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Jun 2008 Posts: 32
Posted: 06-15-08 21:19pm
I never really had the threesome fantasy,
but there was one night when my older best
friend took me out on the town to do the
crawl shortly after my 21st birthday, then
we went back to his place and laid into a
bag of, um, extra pure hemp. My
girlfriend showed up to drive me home, and
she laid into the goodies too instead, and
we both had to crash there. We
collectively got the idea that it would be
cool/fun/different/whatever to have a
three-way.
It wasn't.
I never had a paternity test, and I'm 90%
sure my 14 year old is really mine, but I
can never be totally sure without a
paternity test. She conceived right
around that time, and we only had one
condom, not two.
I'm not pissed at Mike about this, because
we all came to the same conclusion by
mutual agreement, but he and I have barely
spoken five words in the past 14 years,
and our relationship was never the same
after that.
I think the whole thing is a really bad
idea.
If you're not down with that, then
definitely tell him to get over it. Feel
free to tell him my story as an example of
why it really seems like a horrible idea
the morning after.
(And I never touched the, um, hemp again
after that either.)
|
worrywart01
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Posted: 06-15-08 23:15pm
well i've heard many times that IF you do
ever even consider looking into this DO
NOT go after a friend as the third party
because it would make things incredibly
awkward...ESPECIALLY in my situation...my
brother is my boyfriends best
friend..hahaha..sooooo yea...but IF i were
to ever consider it for some reason
(which..theres pretty much no chance of it
happening) but if it would it would be on
a vacation or something where theres NO
chance of accidently bumping into that
person again..i've learned the world is a
small place, everyone has a friend of a
friend that knows someone who knows you
and thats not something I would want to
get around...i'm a one guy kinda girl,
so..if he cant accept that then..i guess
eventually we'll both have to move
on..though, its been 2 years...so if it is
a big deal i would think he would have
moved on by now....i just dont want to
settle down and 10 years from now him have
some resentment towards me for not letting
him have his fantasy..or even worse him
cheat on me so he can have his fantasy!
He's only 20, i'm 21..i think neither of
us(especially me) are mature enough to
handle that situation and i really feel
like though he says he wont he would loose
alot of respect for me
|
2eatoria
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Jun 2008 Posts: 32
Posted: 06-15-08 23:51pm
worrywart01
wrote:
i've learned the world is a
small place, everyone has a friend of a
friend that knows someone who knows you
and thats not something I would want to
get around
It is, and I used to
travel for a living. Even when all of
North America is your back yard, it's
still a small place, and you wouldn't
believe the stuff that can follow you
around.
Quote:
i'm a one guy
kinda girl, so..if he cant accept that
then..i guess eventually we'll both have
to move on..
Yup. Exactly. People
can't fundamentally change who they are,
and what gets their motor humming.
There's some room to play around and try
out each other's ideas, to fulfill each
other's fantasies, but if anything ever
pushes you past your limits, you shouldn't
do it. Period. Ever.
In my experience, women like you are the
norm, and I don't think you should worry
in the slightest about not being
interested in having another
partner.
Quote:
though, its been
2 years...so if it is a big deal i would
think he would have moved on by
now....
Probably.
Quote:
i just dont want
to settle down and 10 years from now him
have some resentment towards me for not
letting him have his fantasy..or even
worse him cheat on me so he can have his
fantasy!
Resentment over a long
span of time really can be a problem, but
the more up front you are here and now,
the more likely it is that you can avoid
that eventuality.
Quote:
he says he wont
he would loose alot of respect for
me
That's a hard call to
make until the morning after. Nobody can
sort that one out except the two of you
together.
haha) i can look at
the hottest guy and not "want" him in that
way..i'll look him over of course haha
looking never hurts but as far as wanting
him, i just dont...maybe i'm just
weird...or maybe its just because I was a
virgin before this guy that i dont know
any different...nor do i have any interest
in knowing any different! i've never done
ANYTHING other than kiss with any other
guy(besides this one)...and i'm 21...and i
just dont have any interest in other
"sizes or shapes" "it" may come
it...haha...yea..ok
